Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited

THE SOUL OF A NARCISSIST
THE STATE OF THE ART

Introduction

page 3

The narcissist has to condition his human environment to refrain from expressing criticism and disapproval of him or of his actions and decisions. He has to teach people around him that these will provoke him into frightful fits of temper and rage attacks and turn him into a constantly cantankerous and irascible person. The disproportion of his reactions constitutes a punishment for their lack of consideration and their ignorance of his true psychological state. In a curious reversal of roles – the narcissist blames others for his behaviour, accuses them of provoking him and believes firmly that "they" should be penalised accordingly. There is no way to dissuade the narcissist once he has embarked on one of his temper tantrums. Apologies – unless accompanied by verbal or other humiliation – are not enough. The fuel of his rage is spent mainly on vitriolic verbal send-offs directed at the (often imaginary) perpetrator of the (oft imaginary) offence.

A coherent picture emerges:

The narcissist – wittingly or not – utilises people to buttress his self-image and self-worth. As long and in as much as they are instrumental in achieving these goals – he holds them in high regard, they are valuable to him. He sees them only through this lens. This is a result of his inability to love humans: he lacks empathy, he thinks utility, and he reduces others to mere instruments. If they cease to "function", if – no matter how inadvertently – they cause him to doubt this illusory, half-baked, self-esteem – they become the subject of a reign of terror. The narcissist then proceeds to hurt these "insubordinate wretches". He belittles and humiliates them. He displays aggression and violence in myriad forms. His behaviour metamorphesises, kaleidoscopically, from over-valuation of the useful other – to a severe devaluation of same.

The narcissist abhors, almost physiologically, people judged by him to be "useless".

These rapid alterations between absolute overvaluation to complete devaluation of others make the maintenance of long-term interpersonal relationships all but impossible.

The more pathological form of narcissism – the Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) – was defined in the successive versions of the American DSM and the European ICD. It is useful to scrutinise these geological layers of clinical observations and their interpretation. In 1977 the DSM-III criteria included [the following texts are adaptations of the original ones]:

• An inflated valuation of oneself (exaggeration of talents and achievements, demonstration of presumptuous self-confidence);

• Interpersonal exploitation (uses others to satisfy his needs and desires, expects preferential treatment without undertaking mutual commitments);

• Possesses expansive imagination (externalises immature and non-regimented fantasies, "prevaricates to redeem self-illusions");

• Displays supercilious imperturbability (except when the narcissistic confidence is shaken), nonchalant, unimpressed and cold-blooded;

• Defective social conscience (rebels against the conventions of common social existence, does not value personal integrity and the rights of other people).

Compare the 1977 version with the one adopted 10 years later [in the DSM-III-R] and expanded upon in 1994 [in the DSM-IV] and in 2000 [the DSM-IV-TR]:

An all-pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or in behaviour), a need for admiration and a marked lack of empathy which starts at early adulthood and is present in a variety of contexts.

At least 5 of the following should be present for a person to be diagnosed as suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder:

• Possesses a grandiose sense of self-importance (for example: exaggerates his achievements and his talents, expects his superiority to be recognised without having the commensurate skills or achievements);

• Pre-occupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance and beauty or of ideal love;

• Believes that he is unique and special and that only high status and special people (or institutions) could understand him (or that it is only with such people and institutions that it is worth his while to be associated with);

• Demands excessive and exceptional admiration;

• Feels that he is deserving of exceptionally good treatment, automatic obeisance of his (usually unrealistic) expectations;

• Exploitative in his interpersonal relationships, uses others to achieve his goals;

• Lacks empathy: is disinterested in other people's needs and emotions and does not identify with them;

• Envies others or believes that others envy him;

• Displays arrogance and haughtiness.

top | continued

home | about me | narcissism defined | faq | narcissism list excerpts
the book | book excerpts | articles | email me