Question:

I am 19 yrs. old, heavily dependent on intense emotional feelings in the need to feel that I’m alive. I am really very confuse about this. Times and times again, I will feel very depressed to the point of abusing medication to make myself go to sleep or cut myself to feel out of it, and yet when times when I feel normal, I will sometimes provoke it to come back. Been in a intense n short relationship some time back. I have the need to meet new people all the time, but when they get too close, I’ll shut them down. I feel this constant fear that people I’ve know will just all leave me all the same. 

I get attached to people easily, but not emotionally. Recently, I get suicide ideals so often. I cried too often. I have a lot of problems with my school. I really want my boyfriend back but these emotional turmoil’s, they hold me back all the time. and now, I have practically push everyone (friends) out of my life. I just can't stand it. if they are going to leave me or used some stupid excuses to throw me away. One of my friends suggested that I see a doctor when I called them up one night after talking 25 pills. I feel scared if anyone is going to think that I’m mad.

Answer:

You are clearly in need of help, and what others think of you is not the issue. Life is not meant to be this much of a struggle.

Assuming you have the BPD - which I don't know - you will see a huge difference with the right medications. You also need counseling when the medications are working.

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