Chapter 2: Taking Care of
the Caretaker
True love begins with yourself. You can give and give and give to other
people. Care for them, nurture them, support them. But it's the support and
care and love that you give yourself that gives you the real strength to care
for and love others. This has been a long and difficult lesson for me to
learn, but I'm finally getting it.
— Oprah Winfrey, Make the Connection
Taking Care of the Caretaker simply means
taking care of the person who has the extraordinary responsibility of
taking care of your children: YOU!
Taking care of yourself does not mean taking a trip to Maui
once a year to rejoice (although it couldn't hurt). Even after a vacation or a
night on the town, you still come home to the same job, same family, same
stress, same life. The only way to make a real difference in the quality of
your life is to commit to full-time self-care.
Taking Care of the Caretaker means taking care of yourself
on a daily, hourly and minute-to-minute basis. It means taking care of
yourself during mundane tasks and stressful events, taking care of yourself
when everyone else wants you to take care of them, and taking care of yourself
when no one else will. Taking Care of the Caretaker means taking care of
yourself so your children will have an energetic, effective, calm, stable and
fun-loving parent to take care of them.
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
— Oscar Wilde, An Ideal Husband
Please step to the head of the line
In the years we have been advising parents, we have noticed
a pattern among them: The parents who are less than successful all basically
do the same things to assure their failure, and the parents who are successful
all do the same things to achieve their success. From all of these parents we
have learned two things that we absolutely know to be true:
1. You must take care of yourself FIRST in order to have
the energy, stability, and alertness required to take care of your children.
2. You cannot expect your children to have a great life
when yours aren't!
This isn't Albert Einstein or Stephen Hawking stuff. This
is pretty simple, and yes, it can be easily done. When you apply the
principles of Taking Care of the Caretaker, you will find your life takes on a
quality that, until now, you may never have dreamed possible.
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