Chapter 1: Parenting is an Act

What do you think of when we say, "Parenting is an act?" Initially, to some people, the concept of acting may seem phony. They interpret the word act as a pretense, as something less than genuine. There are, however, many definitions of the word act. Oxford Concise English Dictionary also defines act as: n. & v. n. 1. something done; a deed; an action. 2. the process of doing something. v. 1. behave. 2. perform actions or functions; OPERATE EFFECTIVELY; take action. 3. exert energy or INFLUENCE.

The role of a lifetime

Nowadays I see fathers whose lives are to some extent devoted to fatherhood. They study the role, live it as a role and take pride in doing it well.

— Russell Baker, The Good Times

We teach parents that mom or dad are simply roles you assume when you are in the presence of your children. They are not a complete description of who you are, but merely one of the many roles you play throughout your day.

Think about it like this. If you are a dad, that is one role you play. If you happen to put on a police officer's uniform when you go to work, that's another role you play. When you are alone with your wife, you are a husband, a role quite different than the others. You don't act like a husband to your commanding officer, or like a policeman to your wife. If you did, you would probably be out of a job and in divorce court! Likewise, you don't act like a confidant, a buddy, a taskmaster or a co-worker to your children. You act like a parent: a role you accepted when you made the serious decision to bring children into the world.

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