I always wish I had started preparing for Christmas earlier. When the store decorations start appearing before Halloween, I am greatly annoyed. Now the merchants can say, "I told you so."

We all have such great expectations for Christmas. Families have a wealth of traditions which MUST be repeated or it just isn't Christmas. The December magazines illustrate tantalizing visions of smiling people, dazzling parties, happy children, beautiful homes, and sumptuous feasts for late-night suppers and Christmas brunch. Everything promises pure magic.

With such expectations, it is easy to try to do everything. I know, I once tried. The results never resembled my expectations of that magical holiday home. Sure, the kids loved to decorate the tree and bake cookies but they never could see the point in picking up anything they owned.

Where in those articles on entertaining does it say that the laundry must still be done, the bathrooms cleaned, and the family meals prepared even though there are cards to mail, gifts to make or buy, houses to decorate, and people to entertain? It is very easy for workloads to double while trying to do everything that "must be done."

Christmas spirit is willing but time, money, and energy are limited commodities, even in December. It has been my experience that as the stress of over-extended calendars, bodies, and bank accounts begins to build, tempers get short and angry words abound. Such situations are not exactly the magic of our holiday dreams. There is a better way for families to enjoy the holiday season.

How to survive the holidays and actually enjoy yourself.

 

1. Everyone makes a list of possible activities.

   Have each family member list the holiday activities that mean the most to that person. Include favorite traditions and foods. Each person must rank the activities by importance.

    

2. Discuss everyone's expectations.

   In a family meeting, plan events so that every person gets to include at least one favorite activity during the season. Cross out items that are not possible. Explain "why" to children. Negotiate and compromise until the family is happy with the results.

    

3. Decide who will help with each activity. If only one person does it, consider getting rid of that activity.

   The family must share the work of the holidays to appreciate the closeness of the season. Getting ready for Christmas is the best part. It is not a time to work alone on anything, except secret gifts. Children need the experience of being part of the celebration, not just the recipients or by-standers.

    

4. Simplify all original plans.

   Leave enough breathing space for rest and relaxation. December should not be a marathon. With too much rush and worry, it is easy to lose sight of precious still moments for expressing the love of the season.

    

5. Don't over-do the togetherness thing.

   Adults need time together without children. Children need time without adults. Everyone needs time to be alone at times, even during the holidays.

    

6. Think about what you are doing.

   Ask yourself, "Why am I doing this?" If you like the answer, keep doing it. If not, stop before resentment and anger take over.

    

7. Do less and enjoy more. Do the things that are most important and let other things go.

   Lower standards for housework if necessary. Ask yourself, "What will happen if I don't get this done?" If the answer is nothing, don't do it. If you can live with the results of not doing it, put it off for awhile. With housework, you'll always get another chance.

    

8. Enjoy.

   A stressed parent creates stress in the home. A happy, relaxed parent creates a much better atmosphere for children. Joy is contagious.

   Good News: Unplug the Christmas Machine, How to Have the Christmas You've Always Wanted by Jo Robinson and Jean Coppock Staeheli has been reprinted and is now available. This is one of my favorite books of all time. Truly outstanding!