For Self-reliant Kids,
Start Early

by Elaine M. Gibson

There are certain things parents can do to ensure their children's success in school. The first and most important step is to send responsible, independent children to the classroom. This begins with kindergarten students.

Children do not learn responsibility or self-reliance at school. School is where they practice it! It is a family's job to teach these skills at home. Teaching children takes time and there are no short-cuts. Either put the time in early or pay for it later.

By kindergarten, a child should be able to

• get up without being told
• select clothes for the day and dress unassisted
• eat breakfast in a timely fashion
• gather school materials
• be ready to leave for school on time.

 

1. First, if a child has somewhere to go, that child needs a personal alarm clock.
   A five year old can learn to set an alarm, and get up when the alarm buzzes. Children do not need mothers to nag them until they get out of bed. When a child gets himself up, he deserves a pleasant "good morning" and an enthusiastic hug. We all have work to do and we all have to get started every day. Note: If a child is on medication that makes getting up impossible, change the medication.

    

    

2. Secondly, children need to dress themselves.
   Young children need limits on which clothes can be worn to school and which ones are not appropriate. After that, let children make their own selections. No one at school is impressed by perfectly matched children except their mothers. If a child is clean, decent, and looks "kept", the clothes don't matter.

    

   Yes, children will look strange to grown-ups at times. If they really look weird, the other children will comment and the child will learn something. Chances are the other children will think the weird outfit is cool. Instead of telling children how "cute" or "handsome" they look, tell them how smart they look this morning.

    

3. Let children participate in planning their lunches.
   They can eat in the school cafeteria or make their own lunch. Yes, first graders can make lunches. If they eat the same thing every day, it won't hurt them. Eventually, they'll switch. Some sandwiches can be made the night before, juice boxes can be frozen overnight, sacks or lunch kits can be stocked with non-perishables. Children should also be responsible for cleaning out their lunch boxes in the afternoon. Children do what we expect them to do.

    

    

4. Children need routines in the morning. No one watches television until grooming, breakfast, and chores are completed. In the early years, children need help developing organizational skills. Give them a place to leave all school work in the afternoon and have them get everything in this place before morning. All signed notes, lunch money, lunches, and school packs go to the "launching pad." Mornings are so much easier with a good plan.

    

Children who come to school with a positive attitude have a head start on the day. Independent children who have had the privilege of telling themselves what to do all morning without being nagged by a griping parent are ready to learn for themselves.

By the time they get to school, they have successfully gotten themselves up, dressed, and ready for the day. They have acquired their lunch money or made their lunch, gathered their school work, and have their permission slips signed. Bring on the education. They feel competent. Learning will happen.

Are parents necessary? Absolutely. Parents supply pleasant words and positive affirmations that send a child off ready to conquer the world. A parent supplies the expectations and gives the messages that say, "I know you can do this." A parent also enforces the consequences when expectations are not met.

To be kind and firm, a parent will often send a child to school who is angry and unhappy with the consequences of a mistake. This cannot be avoided in the training process. This is how children learn. With appropriate consequences, the child will not continue to make the same mistakes. It may take awhile but they will learn.

As children learn to be independent and responsible for their actions, the morning atmosphere will continually improve. If children remain dependent and irresponsible, the climate will continue to worsen with each passing year.

By taking the time to train in the beginning, parents will realize the benefits year after year. And the best part? So will the kids. Strong, responsible, self-reliant children succeed.

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