Family Vacations are the Stuff of Memories

by Elaine M. Gibson

The easiest way to vacation with children is to leave the children behind.

However, family vacations really are worth the trouble.

Vacations give parents and children memories to last a lifetime. Our children will not remember the ordinary events of day to day life. They will remember the exceptional occurrences. All children will remember traumatic events so we need to make sure that they have glorious and exciting times to remember as well.

Fun family vacations are events to be remembered. The quality of every day life provides the basis for children's feelings about their family; but if the foundation of family life is solid, the extra effort for family vacations can provide memories for a lifetime.

A vacation gives everyone in the family a chance to share the same experiences, to laugh together, play together, and just BE together. A vacation is not the same thing as a trip to a certain place. Family vacations are more attitude than distance. We must be mentally ready to relax and enjoy ourselves with our children.

Not all vacations require travel, two weeks, and big bucks. Staying at home can be a vacation with imagination and forethought. The standard routine needs to be different and new activities for the whole family should be planned with the same care given to long-distance vacations.

Expensive, lengthy vacations are not always worth the costs. A vacation that demands too much from parents and is too taxing for children will certainly be remembered, but this type falls into the "trauma" category.

A two-day car trip with small children (who do not enjoy being in the car) to some location that requires standing in long, hot lines for one minute rides may not be such a great vacation. A two-day car trip with teens (who do not enjoy being in the same car with parents) to any location may not be such a great vacation.

Trips to visit relatives should NOT be considered vacations unless said relatives:

1. live in a resort area
2. have plenty of guest rooms with comfortable beds
3. love to baby-sit, and
4. have a well-stocked refrigerator and pantry.

Planning a vacation is a true cooperative effort. Keep these things in mind.

1. Evaluate the financial situation carefully.

   Vacations should be planned based on how much money can be spent. If a family cannot afford the vacation, every situation involving money will create tension and stress. Sacrifice before the vacation, not for the next three years. Remember, not every vacation requires money.

2. Timing is another consideration.

   Summer is not the only season for vacations. With pre-school children, other cooler seasons might be better. Children's activities at home need to be considered also. Children who are forced to give up a favorite or special event for the family-vacation may not make the best traveling companions.

3. Expect to compromise.

   Not every vacation possibility will suit each member of the family. The likes and dislikes of each individual need to be clarified and discussed. "You are going to do what we want to do and you are going to have a good time!" never works.

4. There is no such thing as "the perfect vacation."

   The family needs to sit down and talk about individual expectations. Without consensus, the family better stay at home and try again next year.

5. Plan on the unexpected.

   "If anything can go wrong, it probably will."

   Families can prepare mentally for delayed flights ("You missed your only connecting flight for today.") or car air-conditioners that go out when it is 104°. Illness does not understand "vacation". You may visit emergency rooms instead of museums and search through quaint little shops for children's aspirin and Kaopectate instead of souvenirs.

6. Attitude is everything.

   It's all an adventure. When things do not go as planned, we need to keep the vacation in perspective. Being together is the most important part of this shared time. We should remember that children reflect parental attitudes. Kids consider everything about a vacation an adventure. Parents need to find the "child" in themselves and share the adventure with their kids. Ten years from now, remembering the things that went wrong will be your best laughs.

Memories -- that's what it's all about.

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