Many years ago, a friend told me how she had given her junior high daughter a clothing allowance for the year and allowed her daughter to make her own decisions. She told me how her daughter had learned from her own mistakes and become very good at managing money and selecting clothing for value. She said, "When we sent her off to college, we knew she could handle money and make wise choices. We were never disappointed."

When my children and I began to disagree on clothing purchases, I remembered my friend's story. We decided that a clothing allowance might be the best way to end the disagreements and arguments over what we would or could buy. Erin was 11 and Chuck was 8, but we felt it would work even at their age.

They certainly knew about money and were eager to spend it. They also had a mind of their own when it came to clothes. We explained to both children that they had x dollars for the year for their clothing purchases. When the money was gone, no additional funds would be available from us for the remainder of the year. They could select their clothes and we would pay for them and keep a running tally for each child.

The tally ended up on an envelope with the receipts kept inside. One of the first things that happened was when I suggested an outfit for Erin to buy. She looked at the price tags and announced that she couldn't afford it and didn't need it anyway. Good thinking! Both children stayed within their budget the first year.

We did have to work out a few details, such as "Who pays for the clothes that Mother insists are necessary?" We had to go to a family funeral and we left Chuck behind because he owned nothing suitable to wear. Jams and purple high tops would not have been well-received. We decided that at least one "dress occassion" outfit had to be purchased with the clothing allowance. As they got older, this became less of a problem.

The second year was not a good one for Chuck. He spent most of his clothing allowance on athletic shoes. By October, he was out of money. His jeans got tighter, shorter, and holier but he still wore them. You've never seen a child appreciate Christmas money as much as he did. By January 1 he had a new allowance and things changed.

One day he came in and handed me his clothing budget. He had earmarked only a certain amount for shoes "because I spent too much on shoes last year", the majority for winter clothes "because they cost more", and the remainder for summer clothing, "I don't need as many clothes for summer."

I was so proud of him because he had learned what he needed to learn without me preaching or nagging or complaining. He taught himself and learned from his own mistakes. It has not always been easy to keep my mouth shut. Chuck went through a stage where everything he wore looked just alike because everything he bought was just alike. He still tends to dress in phases.

I would not choose the same clothes for him but then I'm not the one wearing them. He looks like he wants to look. He looks like Chuck. Erin was very wise about her clothing until she hit 14. She went through a phase of ignoring how much she was spending, but it caught up with her by August and she faced the reality of what she had spent. She became very cautious with the little money she had left that year.

It is never easy to let our children make choices when we can see the coming mistakes so much better than they. I've found, however, that the consequences always teach better than I can preach. Making choices and decisions has required more of them and they feel proud of their independence.

On the particulars: The amount of money that can be allowed for clothing will vary within each family. Don't worry about how much should be allowed. The family budget should dictate that. We eventually created a fall allowance and a spring allowance since it mirrored the way clothes were available. Overall, this was one of the most successful things we did with our kids.