Terrica’s first year in school (kindergarten) is when I learned that Terrica could be diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder. I did not know about A.D.D. Although I always knew that Terrica's behavior was beyond the "bratty behavior patterns", I was actually relieved to hear about A.D.D because then I could get professional help.

At the end of the school year, Ms. Henry and I had gotten to know each other very well - common denominator - Terrica. We decided that we could tell what kind of day Terrica had had, by the way her hair looked at school closing.

I would style Terrica's hair everyday - two ponytails; three ponytails; I dream of Jennie ponytail. Of course, the color of the ribbons or rubber bands matched her clothing. During the course of the day, she would take the rubber bands out, unbraid her hair, and untwist her hair. She has gone as far to cut her hair. Let the story to be told.

Terrica came home from kindergarten one day, when I noticed her bangs had been unevenly cut. Terrica is a light-skinned African-American with light brown hair and golden highlights. Terrica's hair hangs about 8 inches below her shoulders. I immediately asked, "What happened to your hair?" She looked at me confused at first. Then, I asked her the question again.

Shortly after, she began to explain that Tequela, a classmate, had cut her hair. As a parent, I was concerned and began to ask more questions. "Where was your teacher when this was happening?" "Why would you let someone cut your hair?" "Why didn't tell your teacher?" "Why would the teacher leave scissors lying around unsupervised?" Terrica’s response to all the above was, "I don't know." (By the way, I did ask her again, "What is the little girl's name?" I wanted to make sure that I heard it correctly. Tequela was the name that Terrica had given.)

After replaying the questions in my mind, it was reasonable to ask my next question, "Did you cut your hair?" She answered, "no, why would I do that?" She consistently implied that Tequela held her down and cut her hair while the teacher left the room. She goes on to say that several other girls covered her mouth so she could not scream.

I asked Terrica, "Is Tequela black or white? Terrica said she too was African-American. Does Tequela have short or long hair? Terrica indicated that Tequela has long hair too. I was investigating if Tequela wanted Terrica's hair short like hers or if Terrica wanted short hair like her classmate. Nothing was making any sense.

I explained to her that lying is not nice. If she tells the truth, she will not be disciplined if she had cut her own hair. I also informed her that I was sending a note to her teacher to investigate what really happened. She kept with her story.

I received a call the next day from Ms. Henry only to learn that Terrica is the only African-American in her class. Secondly, there is no child in her classroom named Tequela. (And, for the record I have never drank "Tequela".)

So who cut Terrica's bangs? During art session, she took the scissors and cut her bangs. Before Ms. Henry could stop her, the opened scissors closed and the hair dropped onto the floor.

That's it. Terrica acts on impulse. I still do not know why she cut her hair nor do I know why she told that story. Was Tequela real? I am not sure.

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Terrica is now nine years old. I still have "Bad Hair Day " story to share.

We now live in Pennsylvania. In November, Terrica's attended a new school that has a pool. It is a requirement that she swims once a week. By mid-January, Terrica had missed more school for common cold symptons than for snow days.

One particular Monday, she was not feeling well because she had a cough and a runny nose. So, I decided to keep her home to nurse the sick.

On Tuesday, I sent her to school. By noon, I received a call from the school's nurse indicating that Terrica was running a fever. Tylenol tablets does wonders. Shortly after, the fever was gone. She was 95% hype meaning she was almost back to her normal hyper-self.

On Wednesday, I sent her to school again. I instructed her that she should not attend swim class because she is still sick. She implied that she would need a note to give to her teacher. I complied.

Wednesday evening, I worked later than usual. My husband and I decided to take the family and dine out. As soon as I walked in the house from work, I knew that Terrica had gone swimming. I asked, "Terrica, did you go swimming today?" She responded, "No ma'am". I informed her, "Are you aware of your actions? Do you understand that there will be consequences for unacceptable behavior - and lying is unacceptable".

She explained, "Yes, mother, I am aware of my actions and I do understand everything that you are saying." I said, "Okay, so I am going to ask you again. Did you go swimming today?" She consistently replied, "No ma'am, I did not."

Now you may be wondering, how did I know that she disobeyed me? When Terrica left the house that morning her hair was shining and straight. When she returned from school, it was dry looking and wavy. All indications that a non-permed African American has gotten their hair wet.

At dinner, she had sneezed and immediately she asked the family, "No bless yous?" Before anyone could react I said, "You would not be sneezing if you had listened to me and not gone swimming.." She echoed with an attitude, "Mom, I did not go swimming".

The next morning, Terrica requested that I style her hair with a ponytail on top and let her hair hang loosely in the back. So this means that I must blow-dry her wavy hair to make it straighten before curling the back half of her hair. While standing in from of the bathroom mirror blow drying her hair, I was giving her one more chance to tell the truth. This child of mine amazed me with her reply, "Mom, I really did not go swimming. I am telling the truth for a change." Then she continues with, "I went to the school's bathroom, put my head under the faucet and ran water in my hair. I wanted my hair to be wavy."

Oh my god, I began to laugh in disgust. I am supposed to believe that story? Then I remembered she had called me at work yesterday mid-afternoon just to tell me that she did not have to use the bathroom all day. She even told her daddy that story. My husband and I were baffled. We concluded she was amazed that she did not have to urinate all day. Okay. Nevertheless, I had lost my patience. I told Terrica, "I am sending a note to her teacher". And if her teacher tells me that she went swimming, she will lose two days of computer and TV time. She stuck with her story.

Guess what? I received a call from her teacher indicating that Terrica had been crying all day. When the teacher asked Terrica what was wrong, Terrica gave her my note. Terrica was upset because she did not want the teacher to know that she had lied. She also knew that she would lose computer and TV time for two days.

My take away from this story is not the Bad Hair experiences but Computer and TV Time is a commodity in my household. I once heard a parent say everything tangible is an ADDer privilege. I have learned to limit my privileges. Terrica is now aware of the unacceptable behaviors. And, if she decides to break the rules, she loses a commodity.

Summer time is now approaching. Guess what? The pool is now a commodity. Overall, she is getting better because she does not like when I take away the phone, computer or TV privileges. We sit down and talk about acceptable behaviors and her rewards as well as her consequences.

Do not get me wrong, we have not gotten over the hump completely. (For experienced ADD parents, I could not be where I am today without the medication). She continues to surprise us with the things that she says and does. But the number of stories has reduced by a small fraction but I take what I can get. People keep telling me it is because she is maturing. If this is the case, I thought I would never say these next words, "Mature faster - please!!!!!"

Written by Terrica's Mom

June 1, 1999