Helping
Your Child
Deal with Fears
It is probably safe to say that every
child has fears in varying degrees. Some are the normal fears of childhood while
others are not. It is the role of the parent to reassure a frightened youngster.
The ability to do this well can result in the child's feeling secure and safe in
his present and later life.
A certain amount of fear is healthy and
understandable. It keeps us and our children out of harm's way. We teach our
children to fear running into a busy street, accepting candy from strangers,
swallowing unidentified substances from the medicine cabinet, et cetera. In such
cases, we are teaching our children to fear the results. We are, in essence,
teaching them caution which is quite a different matter from dealing with a
youngster who is responding to an imaginary rather than a real danger. Such a
child evidencing anxiety when there doesn't seem to be anything specific to be
anxious about, whose fear is so great, it borders on becoming a phobia.
In a survey a number of years ago, the
fifteen most common human fears were identified, some of which relate to
children's fears. They are:
- Darkness
- Public speaking
- Being alone
- Dentists
- Angry people
- Hospitals (blood)
- Rejection
- Spiders
- Disapproval
- Taking tests
- Failure
- Deformed people
- Making Mistakes
- Police
- Dogs
Many of these fears, if not recognized
and treated properly in children, can develop into more serious phobias In adult
life.
Fear of the Dark
Generally fear of the dark occurs when
the parents insist that the child stay in a totally darkened room at bedtime or
when the child wakes up in the middle of the night. Some children are so
terrified by the dark that their heartbeats actually increase. Parents need to
recognize the fact that the room looks totally different to the child when the
lights are out and should take steps to reassure the youngster even if the fear
seems completely irrational to the parents.
- Use a night light but
experiment with its placement to be sure that it does not create all sorts
of frightening shadows.
- After the light has been turned
out. Stay in the room for a few minutes and talk about how different things
look. A curtain blowing in the breeze looks very different at night than it
does during the daytime.
- Leave the door to the child's
room slightly open and tell him that you will not be far away.
- If the child awakens in the
middle of the night, he should not be invited into your bed or you risk
starting a habit that is difficult to break. Instead, comfort him in his own
room and tell him that you are proud of him for being grown up enough to
sleep in a room by himself.
- Remain consistent in your
approach to his behavior.
Andyroo's
Dream Tapes, Vol.1 We have f ound
this tape to be very useful in helping
young children get to sleep.
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