Intersexuality: Being An Intersexual Man

Inside
Intersexuality

A Secret Life

page 4

Afterward

I woke up after the first operation in the hospital's gray-and blue tile recovery room. There was Dr. McRoberts sitting next to me in a wooden rocking chair writing his surgical notes, wearing a paisley surgical cap and a blue surgical scrub suit. "Dr. McRoberts, I believe God has blessed your hands," I told him. Medical insurance paid most of the bills. And the good doctor waived the rest.

I have distanced myself from the first 25 years of my life. I threw away my softball trophies and many other reminders of my past. Then I had to convince others that I was a man. As Linda, I had used the women's bathroom at work, and now I would have to use the men's. I had to prove to the personnel officer that I was a man and had changed my name.

The first time I walked into the men's room, there were 10 men inside, some of them snickering. Generally, my co-workers were supportive. But once a man cursed me, called me names and tried to get me to fight. I, determined to respond as a Christian, wouldn't answer, wouldn't fight unless I was hit. My response so affected my tormentor that he, too, became a Christian. Some co-workers have said I'm one of the strongest people they've ever known because I had the nerve. But one man still calls me Linda. My friends knew what I was going through and gave their prayers and help.

Getting Married

Sara Jane Van Winkle and I first met when she accompanied a friend who dropped by my apartment. The friend was worried "about all that Steve was going through" and wanted to check and see if I was all right. Sara Jane is from Rockcastle County and never knew me as Linda. Sara Jane said, "There he was, just another guy in a T-shirt and sweat pants. He seemed a little bit shy. I did most of the talking. But he was open and honest about things. I always admired that in people. We just talked awhile, got acquainted and that was it." As our relationship developed, I explained everything to Sara Jane. I told her I could have sex but was sterile. Most of her friends accepted me without question.

wedding day photo I married Sara Jane in 1983, a few months after my visit to Dr. McRoberts. I was 26. She was 27. I decided to tell my story because I want people to know this problem was a birth defect - not a sex change. I want to help anyone who may be going through what I went through. I'm planning to write a book about my experiences.