Intersexuality Bulletin Board

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These are the personal thoughts of visitors to our site about being an intersexual or a parent of an intersexed child.

Maybe you can identify with the writers. Maybe you can learn from their stories.

When you're done reading, you can share your thoughts too.

Name - Nickname - Email Address

Intersexuality Bulletin Board

Natasha -

Comments - Dear Mairi, I read with great interest and nearly complete agreement your paper, Intersex and Gender Identity. I too was born intersex, and as an adult transitioned, I realize in hindsight, "out of male". I have mixed gonadal dysgenesis, XO/XY. While with ambiguous genitalia at birth, circumstance left me untouched until age 3 and a half. I was raised as female until age 3, abruptly switched in role on my 3rd birthday, and then sexually mutilated in an attempt to make me male at age 3 and a half. Both the role switch and surgery were non consensual, and though I was very young and did not understand all of the ramifications, I resisted both. My shattered childhood as a result, was reduced to a mere existence of deprivation and isolation. I was further abused by my parents in every other way conceivable, including also sexual abuse. Needless to say, all of this together made my path to self discovery and wholeness, both problematic and extensive, and is fact still in progress. Though I had formerly deluded myself into believing that I had resolved my feelings regarding all of this, after retransitioning gender role and having consensual sexual reassignment surgery, I realize that really I have not fully resolved my feelings. I have found that although life as a female is far closer to what I could have been, and has brought me some relief, there yet remains trauma unresolved. I have finally accepted that my personal issues though similar, differ from the Transsexual people I respect and care for deeply as a whole, and have both known and loved personally. I also cannot fully identify with most other intersex I have known, who have a similar history to my own and who have also changed from "m" to "f". As they all seem perfectly satisfied to completely identify as women, conforming absolutely many of them, to the current cultural definition of woman at best, yet more often to one of days past. Yet my life history and still evolving views about all of this, have made me distinct from other people born intersex. Though I within myself identify with other intersex who have not transitioned roles or "sex", my past expressions of my feelings, and my history as well, have created an artificial and unnecessary gulf between myself and the rest of us. Needless to say, "help" from the medical and therapeutic psychology community, has more often than not been harmful to me, including even clear malpractice by their own definition of it. Yet even more harmful than anything else I have previously been forced to endure. Are the political and ideological polarization(s) fueled by desperate passion so common within the intersex community. The grief within us all which I share, in addition to anger at an arbitrary sex paradigm enforced by patrician and callous medical arrogance, has combined politically to reduce me to an object of scorn and ridicule by my fellow intersex, making me an outcast. While such in my view is understandable, it is no less cruel an expression of arrogant intolerance fueled by fear, and as such is inexcusable. I have never been fully heard, for I have yet to be listened to with an open mind, or a shred of compassion by the gatekeepers of the intersex community, most notably, Cheryl Chase. Once again I am wrongly regarded as something I am not, for the bias and extreme prejudices held by "our" self appointed community leaders, who are the gatekeepers of the community. I have been alternately labeled a fraud, an intersex "wannabe", or though acknowledged as intersex by the few of us whom have bothered to verify my claims which I can prove with medical documentation verifying my account of my life, yet still am I rejected as an ideological heretic, and by them with arrogant prejudice cruelly dismissed. All of these coincidences have left me empty inside, unable to progress further emotionally therefor. Heartbroken, frustrated and angry, wrongly sentenced to exile as a political prisoner in isolation, from those alone who could help me and allow me to help. My worth as a human being once again denied, more hurtfully than ever for the source of this cruel abuse so ironic, I contemplate seriously my own self destruction. This is all so unfortunate, for I have much to offer and I could have helped. Your words below excerpted from your paper which I mentioned previously, echo my own feelings 'perfectly'. I thank you for them, and I wish you well. Sincerely, Natasha Thompson Yes, I regard myself as a woman - but I am an intersex woman ... there is a multi-faceted complexity to my sense of self which the two labels imposed by society cannot embrace. My desire was not to transition into female - it was to transition out of male. Period. To use experiences such as mine as evidence of commonality between "intersex" and "trans" is erroneous. My experience is not typical of intersex people - but neither is it typical of trans people. My conflict is not an internal dichotomy between gender identity and physiology - it is between the integrity of my being and the consequences of medical intervention. The conflict is an artificially created one. Had I been left alone and raised as I was at birth, there would have been no conflict and my identity would have been secure. Mairi MacDonald

jane doe - leecheenut@hotmail.com

Comments - Hi. To tell you the truth I am questioning if I am an intersexual. Never did I question my genitalia because I just thought I had a big clitoris and labia. I am not even sure if I am one. I get my period and have womanly features. If I think about it, yes, I can come up with features that can be thought to be male-like. I am scared. Am I one? What should I do? The only thing that would point to me being a hermaphrodite is my clitoris. Help me.

Victoria Wallace - V89pooh@aol.com

Comments - March 20th 2002, I gave birth to what I was told was a little girl. 5 hrs. later, a neonatologist entered my room, to tell me that my "little girl" had testes, no ovaries, no uterus, & no fallopian tubes. Thus began the series tests to find out what was happening. 2 days later we were told that the opening that we thought was vaginal, was in fact our child's urethral opening, and that the urethra was masculine. We were then informed that the clitoris, was more than likely an extremely underdeveloped penis. 5 days after the baby was born, we were told that "he" had 46 xy chromosomes. Further testing revealed that he produces his own testosterone and dihydrotestosterone. Our urologist felt that he should perform surgery on our son at 6mts. of age, in order to "release" what he felt was a chordee penis (small, but definitely a penis) and to reroute the third degree hypospadias, as well as remove some of the fatty pads, and fuse his scrotum. He also felt as if my son would be able to be a "fully fuctioning male". We felt as if the hardest time was over, we had all ready begun to investigate psychologists whom specialize in this field, preparing for the psychotherapy he would need. We were finally feeling rays of hope, answers to our questions. However, today we decided to see another urologist, and our thoughts, ideas, hopes, and answers were dashed. He informed us that not only were there tests that should have been performed, that we not, in order to test androgen insensitivity, he also stated that he felt that the penis is in fact a clitoris. He then stated that, since he feels that our son may never masculinize, that we may consider raising him as a female. So, we are left at this. How are we supposed to make the right decision? Every doctor that we have spoken to states that the hypospadias that my child has, will cause problems, such as infection, (since it is located within a half of an inch of the rectum), and painful urination, and must be surgically relocated. Yet, part of this surgery, requires us to make a decision. If this story is similar to your situation, please e-mail me, let us know what you, or your parents did, and was it right for you.

Natasha Thompson -

Comments - Victoria Wallace, Please do NOT allow doctors to talk you into having surgery done on your child! You have already noticed that their expert opinions vary quite a bit. Please know that more than anything else their opinions are based on guesswork, mixed with their personal bias. They will mislead you if you let them, as they have so many other parents of Intersexed children, into doing what 'they want' for your child. They will exaggerate 'possible' health risks of forgoing genital surgery. They will also manufacture reasons why surgery is "necessary". Do not let them pressure you or scare you! Your child does NOT have to be either male 'or' female. Your child has a right to make their own decision about 'their own body'. Please allow your child to do just that, when able to. Please do not make a decision, which your child shall then have to live with. It is simply not your decision. My parents did that to me, and I sure wish they hadn't! I am 50 years old and I am still trying to survive what was done to me, without my consent. Natasha

Natasha -

Comments - Gender and sex are devices as they are ascribed value, given moral significance, and through delineating classification become mechanisms of control. As such they limit human expression and freedom to be as we are born, or even also wish to be. We can and must question our own conditioning, the sex and gender paradigm 'as a whole', and undermine that control. Only then can we restore the integrity of our own humanness, by asserting our basic human right, to be as we truly are 'individually'. Of course to assert at all that there is a "way things ought to be", regarding sex and gender expression, undermines the potential for liberation from oppressive cultural assumptions. Identity politics of any kind rely upon the assertion of standards, and are counter revolutionary therefor. For such deny the innate individuality of human beings, as they require conformity to even a "new and improved" paradigm or standard. <>P<> I hope I am not breaking any rules here by posting these thoughts of mine. In no way do I wish to offend anyone. I merely wish to put this out there for others consideration. One Intersex forum at Transfeminism.org, censored this, by deleting it immediately. Proves my point really. Does anyone else find it offensive that others make decisions about what ideas you can be exposed to? Having had doctors decide what sex I could be born, I certainly do.

DeeDee - dahot134@hotmail.com

Comments - Hi, im 20 yo college student male...and im not sure if im an intersexual but I think I might be. I dont have both sexual organs....but the weird thing is that I have a kinda feminine body...i have big hips and butt the size of a woman if not bigger...I have small soft brests and I have big thighs and my thighs close together when I stand and when I walk. Also my legs are kinda together and my feet be out and apart and have sorta big legs that doesnt have much muscle like they should. Im wondering why am I like this and what I should do and what kind of condition I have. I am 20, weigh 184 lbs, 5'11' or 6'0'', kinda have a gut but the brests too! Some of the people who go to my school think I walk like a woman and look gay because of my physical features (for ex: the big hips). When I was in highschool I was ashamed of being in the locker room because I didnt want people to see my body and I dont ever go to the pool or undress in front of nobody. Hell, I dont even like to look at myself in the mirror because I am totally ashamed of my body. Also, I have a problem finding me somebody because of the way I look. Neither girls or guys are attracted to me! I have been single for the past 3 years. Why am I shaped like this? What is wrong with me? Why do I have this deformity and these awful unattractive features? I dont have no vagina or clitorus *excuse sp.* or anything but do kinda have a small penis when not erect. Please email me to let me know whats up with me if you know. Thanks.

DeeDee - dahot134@hotmail.com

Comments -

Comments - Hi Dee, It is 'possible' that you are intersexed. Because of all the secrecy imposed upon us by doctors and parents, many of us did not discover the truth about ourselves, until later in life. Do not allow the rigid prejudice and narrow criteria, of those who make assumptions about who could or could not be intersexed, dissuade you from discovering the truth about yourself. I believe you may find some answers at the Bodies Like Ours website. You can make your inquiry there, without being judged, and get some answers. Just go here, and then go the forum and ask your question. http://bodieslikeours.org/ Certainly you deserve an opportunity to discover the truth. It may be that you are Transsexual or Transgendered and not Intersexed, but there is certainly nothing wrong with that. Transsexual and Transgendered people are just fine with me, and many of them have made real contributions which help us all. =) I wish you all the best Dee. Natasha

Natasha Thompson - angelschild@earthlink.net

Gail Johnson - gohnson@irb.gov.vi

Comments - Hi. I'm not intersexual. But I have always wanted to meet one. I thank intersexual people are the lucklyest people on the earth. Furthermore, they are mentioned in the Bible. I live on St. Croix, U.S.V.I. and if any intersexual is coming to visit feel free to e-mail me. You have a friend.

Natasha - angelschild@earthlink.net

Comments - Hi Gail, ... I am sure that you mean well, but Intersexuality is really not something to romanticize. Neither is it a situation to be mourned, for surely it is a life challenge which offers us a great opportunity to grow, and become more than we could have been otherwise. It is not an easy situation though. There are many difficulties asociated, e.g. health problems, and of course medical abuse, and our society's utter failure to alow us the human right to bodily integrity and self determination. It may sound like fun from your perspective, but really it is a difficult path.

Comments - I mean you only well. I hope you will read with an open mind what I am about to tell you. ******* I hate to say it, but I am deeply suspicious of the attributed source of the terrorist acts, even including 911. I do not believe AL Quaida is anything but a scapegoat, being used by our own government. Remember your WW2 history? Remember the Reichstag fire? ******* The "new" world order is not a good thing. ******* The NWO intends to rule the entire earth, and so they must control completely the entire world economy. They have some basic goals in the short term, which must be accomplished. ******* They need to unseat current economic strongholds and redistribute control, world wide, of significant wealth, and also assert a stranglehold on the basic fabric of the global economy. To do so, they have apparently decided to plunge the 'entire' world into a depression, and at the same time gain control of the Persian Gulf, and therefor the oil supply, which is the indeed the fabric of the world economy. What better way to do both, than by starting a war in the Persian Gulf? ******* The Bush administration, plans to occupy Iraq after the war. They have openly admitted this in the press, at least here in the USA they have. ******* ^^Remember Ronald Wilson Reagan?^^******* Ever count the number of letters in his first, last, and middle name? Now who immediately succeeded him? George H. W. Bush, was the immediately following President. The one with a kind and gentle image, "like a lamb", "a kinder gentler America" if you recall. Who yet also talked tough of war; like say, a dragon would talk? Please re read The Book Of Revelation, chapter 13, in light of these things. ******* Please read in the Old Testament the Book Of Daniel, chapters 9 through 12. Though it is all very cryptic. If you study it carefully with prayer, you will understand. Basically it says that the world warlord [the Antichrist NWO] shall gain control over all the worlds wealth, by waging war against the Kings of Persia [Persian Gulf] and prevailing. Thus gaining control over all "their treasures" [the oil supply aka the basis of the world economy]. This, according to the book, also ushers in a time of world chaos and trouble, [Great Tribulation] that could nearly destroy all the people, of the entire world. ******* PS ******* There is no pre tribulation rapture. We 'all' go through the great tribulation.

John Switzer - gender_blender@hotmail.com

Comments - This is great.....I stumbled across this today by accident. I usually am looking for yahoo groups, msn communities, etc. but this is much better! I am a 52 yo, 47XXY, self discovered at age 49 while searching my physical characteristics on the internet. Confirmed with karyotype in Dec. 1999. Also, learned I have 30.6 total testosterone on a scale of 250-833. Have been told it is lower than most post-menopausal women. Comforting information...NOT! Have thought all my life I was a freak! I look male and thus have had to function somewhat that way all my life. Have such a small penis that last few years have gone to using a urinal like the hospitals give you when home and sit like females when away from home. Have large breasts and was absolutely hell in high school with nude swimming sophomore year. All rest of the boys had 6-paks and nice cock/balls but me?? Nice breasts and small, almost non-existent cock. Have always been interested in both sexes. Married to female who could care less about me sexually. Married 27 years but more like to best friend than sex partner. Good thing she doesn't care due to what I can give her naturally. Now seeing a psychotherapist in Lake Zurich, IL...a great guy...Dr. Clark Barshinger. He is pro-gay, pro-bi, pro-intersexual, pro-transexual...just interested in my being the best PERSON I can be, whatever that may be. Thanks for having this site...I would love to correspond with anyone here. I also am self employed and willing to talk via phone if someone would like to do that route.

Natasha - natasha_thompson@earthlink.net

Comments - I just posted this on a TS and a TG support group. I think it may also be helpful to some here as well. ******** ******* Body Dysmorphic Disorder. ********** Body Dysmorphic Disorder is not a condition peculiar to Transsexuals. It is far more common than many would guess, affecting all genders, and at every stage of life also. I am offering this information here because I believe considering it's probable psychological cause, it is likely to be a problem for even very passable, pre or post-op TS and non-op TG women. Yet because insecurity about ones appearance is mistakenly assumed to be narcissistic in nature, many are reluctant to talk about it or seek treatment for it. *************** One can feel less than confident about their facial appearance or other parts of their body, regardless of how good one looks objectively. Yet when a lack of confidence progresses to a firm belief that you look truly bad, odd or even ugly, and such feelings progress to an obsession which adversely affects your life. It is very likely that you have Body Dysmorphic Disorder. ************* BDD is treatable by psychotherapy and can be overcome, and it is not something to ignore, because 86% of BDD suffers consider suicide, and 36% attempt it. Because of the stigma attached to this condition, most choose to suffer in silence never seeking treatment. ********** Onset of this condition often begins in adolescence during pubertal development. Resulting from ridicule from peers or family members, of minor defects common to all of us, e.g. prominent ears or nose, etc. BDD can also occur at any point later in life, and appears to be related to latent and unresolved issues of self image which finally manifest during stressful life transitions, i.e. divorce, or say, gender transition. From personal experience I am convinced that Trans women are particularly at risk for developing this disorder. ************ If you are preoccupied with an imagined defects of appearance, or excessively concerned about a slight physical anomaly, which becomes a preoccupation causing you distress which impairs your ability to function socially and or at work. Then you may have Body Dysmorphic Disorder. *********** BDD has certain other symptoms associated with it, such as depressed mood, guilt or obsession, and a generalized feeling of anxiety and fear. Which impair or hamper sexual, social and personal function. ********** Clinical observation has made it clear that encouragement and validation from outside sources, have little or no positive effect on BDD suffers, and my own experience with it bears this out. But rather a change in belief about oneself through psychotherapy, is the only effective treatment. Medication has been shown to help some with severe BDD, but is not always necessary. Biological causes and certainly predisposition, has been shown to be more than likely. I wonder if perhaps such could be related to Transsexuality, Transgenderism, and Intersexuality. Yet such seems to me to be beside the point right now, but treatment to relieve suffering is more important surely. ********** If you would like to learn more about BDD, please use any or all of the links below. ********** You can overcome BDD, and live a richer and fuller life. It all begins with accepting the fact that you are not wrong or at fault, and that doubts about your personal appearance do not mean you are narcissistic, or in any way deficient in character. In fact if anything, it means that you are just like millions of other men and women. ********** Best of luck to all of you. ********* Natasha ******* http://www.biopsychiatry.com/bdd.html **** http://www.healthyplace.com/Communi...elovehope/bdd.h tml ***** http://www.psychnet-uk.com/dsm_iv/b...ic_disorder.htm **** http://www.mgh.harvard.edu/psychneuro/bdd.htm ****

J.A.L.Miller, Jr. (Walkslowly) - jalmillerjr@yahoo.com

Comments - My 1690s Kaskaskia Illini ancestress was Ayw-wee-pah-kee-noo-kah, ie., Mdm. Catherine E8ipakin8ca Colon, wife of Jean Baptiste Colon dit La Violette. Her tribe alledhgedly tolerated both women who dressed like men, and men who dressed like women. Seek more infiormation on this about the Kaskaskia Ikllini Tribe.

brian hop - bhop31@hotmail.com

Comments - wed27nov 2002 Happy thanxgiving! i am male. i want to help outlaw this gender reassignment surgery & abuse. please put me on your e-mail list. Brian p.o. box 181 EL Cajon, CA 92022-0181

Jasmine - jasminegab@hotmail.com

Comments - Hello again everyone, I'm writing this as an update of my story. Since my last posting, I've found a wonderful doctor that was willing to investigate my medical history and ordered all kinds of test. Well, here is the results.... A CAT scan was ordered and found that there is a strand of soft tissue along the expected course of the spermatic cords without clear masses or evidence of undescended testes. The uterus and adnexa are not present. Soft tissue is noted within the reineal region correlating with the area where the vaginal tissue is expected. A prostate or seminal vesicles are not identified. Conclusion: 1. Findings consistent with testicular feminization syndrome or other developmental hormonal abnormalities with absent uterus and ovaries. A blood test was also order: Anti-Mullerian Conculsion: 1.Negative "That was all they told me about this test." I have very little body hair-Under arm, pubic hair and facial hair and my voice is very female. The best part is that I don't have to shave and I never have to shave under my arms. After all this time I have an answer why my body did not masculize. I can finally tell my family that I didn't just wake up and decide I couldn't live my life as a normal male. I've been reading more on AIS and I see so many simular stories to my own. What gives me the most joy, is that it is reported that individuals with CAIS is reported to be some of the most beautiful women in the world. Althought I don't have CAIS, I can walk down the street feeling good about myself. I still feel some parts of my body are not so attractive, but, doesn't all women have some parts of thier body they don't like?

mark - mpenoyar@tampabay.rr.com

Comments - I have been looking for a while and I have only found one on-line site for hermaphrodidtes to look for dates/relationships. Why is that? It's hard enough as it is, why is finding a mate have to be so hard too. There are a lot of people who are very much interested in such a service. From the letters I have seen, intersexed people seem very genuine, emotional and loving people. Nowbody should have to be alone. I live in Florida and would love to meet with anyone interested or if that isn't practical I would chat on-line. Here is my e-mail address mpenoyar@tampabay.rr.com If you are interested in the chat/dating site I found I can give that to you. A word of caution just like anything it's not a perfect site but it's better than nothing. If you have another site you would like to share let me know. http://www.hermaphrodite.com

Pandora Brentt - wife_beater13@yahoo.com

Comments - I found this site a few days ago and have been meaning to post my story. I am not sure what to say, I am 25 years old and I am intersexed. I live as a women, and I never really thought about why that is until just recently in my life. I actually never spent alot of time thinking about intersexed until I begain hearing about others. It was always just the way I am. I never had problems with my family concering this, I was raised in a Pagan family and I guess that made everthing alot easier. I have always referred to myself as a hermaphrodite, I have known the term intersexed and intersexuality, but I actually never really cared for it. I however do respect others who prefer that term. I have always thought about my situation as being very spirtual. I never thought of myself as a freak or wonderd what or who I was. And like I said I am thankful I had a family that never viewd me as some type of medical deformity or condition. I think that it is because Pagan's in genral think along different terms as most do. With me it was always just like, some people are born female, some are born female and soem are "both" or even neither. The more I learn about other intersexuals, by the internet, televison, or books I have read I understand how fortuante I am, I was never forced into anything, pushed into chosing a gender, ..it is hard to put into words, it simply wa snot an issue. I actually never relised it was until I started doing my own research into intersexuality. It really angers me some of the storys I have herd,not just on this site, but in general. It really amazes me that a person's own family would treat them like a freak of nature, or be emabarrassed by them, or try to force them into something. I am not sure what I am tryign to convey, other than, why is this an issue? Hermaphrodites, Intersexuals...whatever you prefer..IS the thrid gender. Nothing in this life is that balck and white, this cut and dry as in their is only two genders and anything in between is soemhow wrong and MUST be fixed. Anyhow, that was my tangent and soapbox. I was saying that I live as a women. And I don't beleive that was necassarily chosen for me I think I just gravitated that way. But I do not think I am a women, nor a man, I am a hermaphrodite, that is my gender. Icould very easily live as a man, I guess to function you ahve to choose a gender to live as. or at least an appearance to live as. I genrally do not claim a sex unless I have to, such as my driver's lisence, it says female. Only because the DMV would not let me leave it blank, I tried. And my parents did put female on my birth certificate. I never really discussed why with her. Maybe she initially didn't choose female and changed it later..can that even be done? I am not sure. If I had it my way I would ahve either no gender or intersexed on it. Anyway, I work in my family business so my gender was never an issue. And I in school and college I guess I acted and appeared feminine enough to get by without too much of a problem until about my Junior year. I am not certain what it was that brought this on. I guess people jsut noticed masculine qualitys within me that I was not aware of, or didn't think anything of rather. to me it was just me. who I was. I was used to that side of me, who I was. But to others, it was different, and especially in high school, I guess I was somewhat of an oddity to them . I am not sure if anyone ever actually knew I was intersexed for a fact, I never told anyone. Although I was asked by a student if I was a man. I actaully respnded with the answer of "On my good days.." She didn't know what to say to that, I got a weird expressiona nd that is when it al lstarted. But no on ever asked me if I was a hermaphrodite. I thik everyone thought I was a transexual. But nothing big ever came of it. Girls would giggle when I entered the restroom, or leave, or do the typical teenager,"Oh my god.." to their groups of friends and the snicker and laugh. I really didn't care. I could stand to urinate and they couldn't...so I think they were just jeolous. But seriously, it all sort of died away when they next "freak" or nerd or underdog of some sort came along for them to bullie and harass. I wonder now what it would have been like if I came out and said what and who I was. I guess they would have lost interest then as well. i think it is the oddity and novality itself they get into. I mean so what if they actually knew, then what would they talk about, what rumors would they ahve spread if they knew the truth? Anyway, I am not sure what my karotype is. I ahve not seen a doctor, I think they cause more harm then good and like to stir things up that do not need to be. But I think I am a true hermaphrodite. I have charestics of both female and male genitals. Although I do ejaculate, but it isn't like what one would think of as typical male seman or sperm. At least from what I have been told from the few women I have been sexually with. So this means I ahve to ahve testicals somewhere. I also sometymes menstrate, but it isn't regular and it isn't like a typical females periode cycle. It tends to be sporadic and very breif. Ido get the sensations that other women describe on their cycle, the cramping, the mood swings that sort of thing. But it isn't as intense as other women, at least it dosen't seem to be from what they have told me about PMS and menstral cramping. My inclinations and desires are most certainly for women. I ahve enver been attracted to men. I even prefer women as freinds. I ahve been told this must make me male..I don't think so..that really frustrated me, not all men are into women and many women are attracted to women. Like I mentioned above life is not that black and white and simplistic. I think that is a shallow view. And to say that as well implies that I am a medical deformity or conditon and I just have to discover my true sex. I sincerally ebelive that being a hermaphrodite IS my gender. I am not a male with deformed genitlas or a female with deformed genitals. That is how my genitals are suppossed to be, and they will stay that way. Another reason I will not see a doctor, I will not persuaded into anything or convinced their is soemthing wrong with me. There isn't. Anyway, some other things. I tend to speak with a mostly feminine voice, although soemtimes I, and others, will notice slight masculine undertones. I do grow facial hair and shave, which gets annoying, but what choice do I have? Become empployed with Ringling Brothers as the bearded lady? My chest is someone, I wan tto stay strong and defined, sort of masculine, but I have breats, normal size I guess whatever that is. I am 5'6, so I don't know if that is considerd tall for a women..or an intersexual who lives as a women. i do not keep up with averages. So I amnot sure how tall the average women is. sexually I suppose I function more as male. i have only been with two women. No men, so I have never ahd the chance to find out if I can function sexually as a women as well. i don't think I can get a female pregnant. I havn't yet and I have been with my fiance for almost seven years, we meant in high school, and she has never been pregnant. Although she has reproductive problems herself so I can't say either way. Anyway, I am not sure what eles e to say, i just read this and relised how painfully long and boring it is. I will stop here. Anyone is MORE than welcoem to contact me about anything. I would love meet new people. Namasate, Pandora Avis Brentt

Pandora Brentt - wife_beater13@yahoo.com

Comments - Hi it' sme again, when I was talking about my chest I meant to say somewhat masculing and well deifned, not someone whatever I wrote. Sorry about botching that up. Blessings, Pandora

Lori - ldbflipper@aol.com

Comments - Hi, I was recently diagnosed with xx gonadal dygenesis and grew up with no female hormones in my body. I always felt like a boy growing up and I like women. Does this non-hormonal condition qualify me as being innersexed or NO sex at all? I encourage ALL innersex peoples to write to letters@walkintheword.com and ask them where folks like us fit in Christian society. Do we really have to suffer being single all our lives or should we be able to marry? These religious groups need to know we exist and our numbers are growing! Thanks for listening :)

Lori - ldbflipper@aol.com

Comments - I think we all need to team together and let the Christian society know our numbers are growing. I encourage you to write to letters at walkintheword dotcom and ask them where innersexuals fit in their society. We shouldn't have to hide! Thx, I love you all :)

Sarah - Gumdrops61022@aol.com

Comments - I am 38, female and recently discovered I am intersexual (not unusual to find out this late in life by self-diagnosis) - probably true hermaphrodite. It was a relief to know this because it explained my confusion over my sexual orientation and it explained the over-protective and strange behavior of my family. I was raised female and never told anything about this. Did all the things girls do. And yet, when my girl "friends" began to talk and giggle about boys and marriage and children, I'd get distant and feel uncomfortable. At least now I know why. If I was sexually reassigned at birth, I don't know it yet. I doubt I was. I have a micropenis and I suspect the doctors just told my parents to raise me female and not touch it. Though I have no clear memories of sexual abuse, I do have some missing periods of time in my childhood. I believe that I was raped on and off from the ages of 6 to 8 by a parish priest during First Communion classes and that he knew I was intersexed and took advantage of this. I have suffered emotional abuse from my mother and psychological neglect from my father. Relationships? I have none. Employment? I'm not and am working on self-employment. I did visit an endocrinologist once about a year ago for hirsutism and she was awful - ignored all the test results and dismissed me as depressed. I'm now looking for a good endocrinologist and urologist who deal with intersex issues. For the time being, I take herbal supplements to keep my periods from being irregular and to keep myself from virilizing more than I have. I've suffered with depression on and off since I was a child. Although now, I think that it has just been deliberate avoidance of people, that somehow I've always sensed this about myself, maybe through other people's reactions to me and I just hid. I've been close to attempting suicide twice and have had suicidal ideation many times. I don't have them anymore though. But knowing I'm intersexed has explained a lot of the riddles of my life that had me feeling suicidal. As an on and off churchgoer, I feel that intersexuality is an issue that most or ALL churches will not touch with a ten-foot pole (except maybe GLBT churches). I feel that we must create our own spiritual communities and worship in ways that relate to our dual natures. Well, enough on me. Email me your comments (no pickups please).

milan - milanmagan@hotmail.com

Comments - Hi, I found this website really interesting - especially the articles section, and reading through all the comments left here by you fine people. My question is, has anybody heard of the term 'berdache'? If not, look it up on google. Well, I have always felt like this. In between sexes. Even though I was born a male, and have been raised as one... But I don't want to be a 'woman' either; I just want to be myself. And wear whatever the hell it is I want to wear, and do whatever I want. Is anybody here Native American Indian? I'd love to talk to you. I want to come over to the States, and spend some time with a native tribe. I think that'd be really cool. And enlightening. And inspiring. I'm twenty yrs old, and in NZ. Peace.

Tami Ramirez - Tamiramirez2000@yahoo.com

Comments - As I read through this bulletin board I wonder if some (not all or even most just some) of the people posting on here are truly intersexuals,such as Pandora..sounds very ficticious to me..what is your karotype if you are a "true" hermaphrodite..you said you are not sure..right..that is like a Diabetic not being sure if they are Type 1 or Type 2, it is just soemthing you know..and yeah right you never have been to a doctor,, how conveinant..then how do you know your are intersexed..and how were you born? Your story sounds more like a fantasy to me Pandora, I mean come om..what type of name is that anyway? Pandora..who names their child Pandora..NO ONE! That isn't even a real name. Pandora was a Greek goddess. I apoligize if I offeneded anyone and "Pandora" if you are really intersexed I am sorry, but what you wrote sounds more like wishful thinking than anything legitimate..you made yourself sound more like a wanna-be she male internet porn model. I mean just the fact that you keep repeatadly referring to yourself as a hermaphrodite...that isn't alright or the proper modern term it is offensive and uneducated and sterotypical. And right..you grew up in a Pagan family..what is that suppose to mean? Right, you were raised as a witch..mmmm.hmmm..right sure. And all the crap about your family and how fortunate you are...and about the ejaculation..have you ever actually read what you wrote "Pandora"? I think it is sad and sick that you are using this bulletin board to try and be something yoour not..I am not sure exactly what you are trying to prove or acheive by doing this but I can tell you that probaly no one on this board actually belives you anyway or cares enough to read about what your wrote or evn remotely buys into any of it at all..if they do..they need to rethink it.. The second I beagin reading what your posted I knew it was fake..I think you have she-male and transsexual fetishes and I think you need to take that stuff to those web sites and bulletin boards, gods knows there are hunderds. Also, there is a difference between a she-male a TS and and intersexed person. And by the way you write it is clear you do not know or understand the difference. It is almost like you relised that this was not meant to be a porn depository so you half assed researced some about intersexualty and posted alot of BS and crap, but you didn't reasearch enough to sound convincing. No intersexual I know has had this loddy dah happy life, it is a struggle, and you go on and on about how luky and fortuante you are and joke about the alleged "hard times" you had your junior year in college..whatever..you don't sound very educated to me. And it wouldn't have been funny if it actually did happen to you. And what was all the crap about the bearded lady and whatever? Intersexuality is not a joke and if you were intersexed you would not make jokes about yourself because when you do that, you are making jokes about all intersexuals. And right..right..you shave..mmmm..hmmm..like I said you have written about a fantasy, you are makign yourself out to be a cliche for as you put it "hermaphrodite." which by the way you didn't even spell right..so that alone is dead give away anyway..you say that you shave AND have a penis AND have female genitals AND breats AND menstrate...I am sorry..if you would have researced more closey you would have known that being a"true" hermaphrodite dosen't mean you have EVERY feature of man and women..that is also a dead give away you are lying. It really makes me sick that you would do this, intersexuals struggle everyday, it is a constant battle with themselves and society..it isn't some, as you put it s"spirtual" blessing, whatever that is suppossed to mean, and it isn't a joke and funny. I am goign to personally email you and let you know how I feel, I think the person or people who facilitate this board should boot you and your comemnts off and soemhow block you...oh and also Kenneth Ward, who was just trying to find a women with ambiogous genitalia and anyone else who is using this board as a dating service, a porn depositry or a fantasy land..Pandora and Kenneth both go find a TS or she-male porn site and message baord and get off of ours...oh and "Pandora"..what type of email is Wife_Beater anyway? That alone is sick. Tami Ramirez

Pandora "Pissed off hermphrodite" Brentt -

Comments - Okay Tami bring it on!, How should I begain? I check this message board just about everyday to see if there are any new postings, they do not come around very often but I seen your name and I knew I hadn't seen it on here before so I was excited that soemone new posted finally, then when I reasd it was all about ME!..I was stunned..what the hell do you know about it anyway? Are you intersexed? You made no mention of that..and you clearly did not read what I wrote..I know the proper term is intersexed.. what I wrote was that I prefer hermphrodite and never cared for the term intersexed..and sorry about my spelling..you spelled..goddess! You spelled a few things wrong yourself..and I am still waiting on that email! And the email Wife_Beater..who cares? At least I was creative enough to come up with a unique one and didn't use my whole name and 2000, which Yahoo gave you..not that any of that matters. I really don't care, but yes, I am offeneded..how dare you say I am not intersexed..I don't know even how to begain with you I can't beleive you would post this..did you just come to this board to attack everyone? I am not even trying to explain myself to you, I know what I am..and yes I know the difference between transgenderd and she males. And no I don't think I am one nor do I want to be one..I am intersexed..I choose to use the term hermaphrodite..so what? I have spoken with many hermphrodites..intersexuals..that use the term hermphrodite..in fact there is a newslatter called Hermphrodites with Atttidude...so the real question is..who are you and what do you know? And so I made light of it? Does everthing with intersexuls have to be doom and gloom? What is wrong with people laughing? What is wrong with laughing at yourself?..and I didn't say I have a penis AND Vagina, I said, or I meant to say, I have features of both male and female reproductive organs..most intersexuals do..that is one reason they are intersexed..and I also know many intersexuals that do not know their karotype. Many intersexuals try to avoid doctors..for a very good reason. And what is it to you if I am from a Pagan family? There are many Pagan families? And Yes, Pandora is MY REAL legal name..so? I don't understand what your deal is! I wasn't tryign to pick up anyone up, I wasn't grapically describing myself.. and I wasn't posting adult material.."porn depositry" or anything like that and NO I don't live a fanatasy world thank you very much!, I know just who I am. And just for the record I seen a specialist..and endocronologist and my karotype is 47XXY..so are you happy now? Now am I legitimate enough for you? And what makes yout hink you are the all knwoing god of who is intersexed ansd who is not? Do you think eveyrone had to go through you before they can be declared intersexed or something? In fact, I would liek to know more about you. You said nothing of yourself. You only attacked me. And please, by all means, do email me, I am waiting, I would love to speak personally with you. Truly Offended, Pandora

Pandora Brentt - Wife_beater13@yahoo.com

Comments - Oops..forgot to post my email with that Sorry Pan.

Tami Ramirez - tamiramirez2000@yahoo.com

Comments - Pandora, I am sorry if I offended you, I am not trying to make this into one of those message boards that everyone argues and slams one another on, it just sounded suspecious to me when I read your orgianl posting that is all. You have to understand were I am coming from..I mean some of the things you wrote struck me as red flags that you could be lying about being intresexed. And I have never herd of that newsletter and could not find it anywhere online and that sounds somewhat suspecious to me also, Hermaphrodites with Attitudes..that sounds like a porn site! I am sorry, but I still do not think you are intersexed and no I do not think I am the all knowing god of the whatever you wrote, but I am not stupid either and I don't think anyone else on this board is either. And just because you said you are 47XXY means nothing. Anyone can say that. I do beleive that Pandora Brentt is you real name because I did a name search and your name did come up in Washington state, but I don't think you are intersexed. And no I am not emailing you at your persoanl email address, you can get private inforamtion that way and I don't want any problems with weirdos like you. I think you should just stay off this board before the people who facilitate it kick you off, I emailed them as well.

Dreika Corbin - Dreika8@yahoo.com

Comments - Tami, Why don't you stop attacking Pandora you don't even know her ( is her okay?..you live a a women right Pandora..sorry if not), you said you don't want this to turn into that type of board, well that is what you are doing, everything seemed fine until you came alone so why don't YOU stay off of the board? You sound like a trouble maker to me, this board was meant so everyone would feel comfortable posting their personal stories, like Pandora said, you have not been given the job to decide who is really intersexed or not! And you have said nothing about yourself! Anyway, enough of that I am not here for that. But I just wanted to say I really enjoyed this site and I am glad to read others stories, I am intersexed and I m just coming to terms with myself and that I am okay the way I am. Anyway, just wanted to say thank you for such a nice site.

Pandora Brentt - wife_beater13@yahoo.com

Comments - YOU DID A NAME SEACH ON ME!! and I am the werid one?

Pandora Brentt - wife_beater13@yahoo.com

Comments - Oh and yes "her" fine, thank you by the way Dreika. I apperciate you standing up and saying something for me.

KEN - security@ncweb.com

Comments - I HAVE BEEN SEARCHING YEARS FOR AN INTERSEXED INDIVIDUAL TO JUST TALK WITH . IF THERE IS SUCH A PERSON AVAILABLE TO TALK ; I WOULD APPRECIATE A RETURN E-MAIL . THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME , KEN

J.K. - bluevelvetJ@prodigy.net

Comments - I am writing this to agree with the lady that was upset about people that are transsexuals comparing themselves to Intersexed individuals. I recently did a report for a Sociology class about intersex conditions. My instructor tried to say that Transgendered people are the same as Intersex people. I was born with deformaties that I recently found out are deemed as Intersex conditions. I had surgeries up until I was 8 years old. I have just recently been told more about my medical conditions in drips and drabs in conversations with my sister. I am a female, and I identify as a lesbian. I do not wish to have another surgery to mutilate my genitals. I accept the sex that I was born as and do not look into the mirror and at my genitals as a deformity that I can not live with. I have no problem with persons that seek to alter their sex, and if it makes them feel complete than my prayers are for them. But, I wish that they would not try to justify their hatred for their sexual organs and compare it to Intersex persons. I find it offensive and it undermines the plight of us that had to endure surgeries as a child to correct problems that presented at birth. You go girl!!!! I was seeking to talk to others that I believed had the same problems as I did in some of the FTM sites, and was treated like a pervert that was seeking to link up with a FTM person. I got a reply from one of the sites that I researched into an advertisement to make my "penis" larger. I have had nothing but problems with tumors and growths from production of estrogen and was started on testosterone to try and avoid breast cancer. I was seeking to find a doctor to remove my breasts in order to hopefully avoid cancer, that the doctors informed me that I would probably "eventually" get. I have little compassion for people that are transexuals now. But wish that as ealier stated that they would stop trying to inflate their ego and call themselves Intersex because they just don't agree with the perfectly working genitals they got stuck with in between their legs.

Judy - bluevelvetJ@prodigy.net

Comments - I am writing this to agree with the lady that was upset about people that are transsexuals comparing themselves to Intersexed individuals. I recently did a report for a Sociology class about intersex conditions. My instructor tried to say that Transgendered people are the same as Intersex people. I was born with deformaties that I recently found out are deemed as Intersex conditions. I had surgeries up until I was 8 years old. I have just recently been told this in drips and drabs through conversations with my sister. I am a female, and I identify as a lesbian. I do not wish to have another surgery to mutilate my genitals. I accept the sex that I was born as and do not look into the mirror and at my genitals as a deformity that I can not live with. I have no problem with persons that seek to alter their sex, and if it makes them feel complete than my prayers are for them. But, I wish that they would not try to justify their hatred for their sexual organs and compare it to Intersex persons. I find it offensive and it undermines the plight of us that had to endure surgeries as a child to correct problems that presented at birth. You go girl!!!! I was seeking to talk to others that I believed had the same problems as I did in some of the FTM sites, and was treated like a pervert that was seeking to link up with a FTM person. I got a reply from one of the sites that I researched into an advertisement to make my "penis" larger. I have had nothing but problems with tumors and growths from production of estrogen and was started on testosterone to try and avoid breast cancer. I was seeking to find a doctor to remove my breasts in order to hopefully avoid cancer, that the doctors informed me that I would probably "eventually" get. I have little compassion for people that are transexuals now. But wish that as ealier stated that they would stop trying to inflate their ego and call themselves Intersex because they just don't agree with the perfectly working genitals they have stuck in between their thighs.

Katy Smith - KatySmith@tigeraspect.co.uk

Comments - Hello. My name is Katy and I am currently researching intersexuality for a new British television programme. We want to do a feature and hopefully interview someone who is a hermaphrodite. If anyone is willing to talk to me about their intersexuality then please do not hesitate to contact me. Even if you do not wish to be interviewed, any information you could give us would be much appreciated. If you would rather talk over the phone, my number is 00442074346741. Thank you.

TJ - Sableone20022000@yahoo.com

Comments - To Tammi You really don't know what you are talking about. My partner happens to be a hermaphrodite, that is the way s/he has always been refered to. S/he has both male and female a small penis and a vagina/uterus. S/he has a ovary and testy inside as well. And yes s/he is able to ejaculate, and menstruates. So watch who and how you attack. Stace was lucky enough not to have been attacked by the medical profession, or to have been treated differently by family. Maybe due to the fact there are other members of the family with this condition. And yes being Pagan can and does also teach a different way of thinking. Yes there were difficulties growing up from other kids, but all kids can be mean. I came here because we are looking into my becoming pregnant by a donor from the family. I Love Stace for who s/he is and who our child might be.

jeanette` -

Comments - I am a parent of an ambiguous genitalia child. My child was surgically reassigned to female. Her birth certificate was also listed as female. My child has xyy phenotype, which I have recieved various veiws on whether this was responsible for her dimorphic scrotum and hypospadious. I am told while it may not have been responsible it may have contributed to overall to her severe underdevelopement. All we truly know that was during fetal developement she lost all female organs but did not develope anything but the most mimimal mostly non functional male organs. Armed with little to no information, and no resources to get information from adults who grew up with this condition, the only guidence we had were doctors and social workers. Who insisted that her problems coupled with xyy were a mix for mental and social disaster. Our daughter was surgically reassigned soon after birth complete with birth certificate. She's 14 years old now, and has known the entire truth about her situation since she was very young. Sure we were told to lie and destroy or seal medical records, but for me this was such a big lie I could never bring myslef to tell such a lie to a child that is such a big part of my life. We were also told to dress her like a girl and make sure that she played with only girly things. Sexuallity we were informed is 90% environment and it was our responsibilty to see that she conformed to society so she could be happier. I realized that you cannot make a child in your image. They have thier own path to follow. We decided long ago that conformity was not the best policy. Our doctors were severly dissappionted. However one Urologist that is still my daughters doctor and has enjoyed watching her develope has changed his veiws. He sees a well adjusted happy child, that is not worried about what everyone thinks about her and can speak frankly with him about her problems. And he now counsels on waiting for some operations. Although the importance of sexual reassignment cannot be ignored for society reasons. He now believes like I do that the final surgeries should be left up to the child. He also now believes that lying or hidding the truth is much more destructive than dealing openly with it. We're pretty open minded so when she started displaying masculine tendancies at a young age, we did not fight it at all. She's has never been forced into a female role, for the sake of family members or freinds. But then neither was our other daughter. Frankly she is very tall for her age, even by boy standards. She still likes boy things, but she likes girl things too. We left the choice up to her for her last surgery. She's never had the facts hidden from her surrounding our decision and feelings at the time she was reassigned. How is she doing now? Well we're very close, she can come to me with any thing. As she was growing up if she had any questions I answered them as honestly as I can, for both her and her sister. Our family knows all about her situation and accept her the way she is. This was not with out it's battles one aunt in particular often argued with me over my daughter's choice in clothes and toys. We've told our daughter that if she ever decides to reverse the process that we would be totally o.k. with that. It is after all her life, and she needs to seek her own happiness. I want my daughter to like herself for who she is. I want her to be comfortable with whom ever she becomes. I as a parrent will accept whatever decision she makes in the future. As for believing that sexuallity is 90% environment, I never did. I do believe that it is a journey of self discovery just like finding who we are inside. I cannot imagine a more unhappy life than being forced to be who you are not. I would never impose this on my daughter. I love her too much to worry about appearances or what others might say. I would say however that as a parrent, if I knew then, what I know now, I would have serious second thoughts about immediate after birth surgical reassignment. However what many of you now adults need to realize is that your parrents were severly under informed when they made the desicion. Please don't be angry with them. They did the best they could under the circumstances. And let's face it in everyday life you are going to have to be assigned a sex male or female. One person said it best, you can't get a drivers license with out such a designation. More importantly you can't get a social security number or go to school with out being male or female. Without a birth certificate you may as well not even exist. So yes we are forced into labling a child male or female at birth, in our society there is simply no in between. We were also told our daughter would be mentally limited on acedemics as well as antisocial tendencies. Acedemically, well I am proud to say that she is already working on schalorship programs for college and has scored high in the SAT's which they let her take out of curiousity. At 14 we are so proud of her acedemic developement. Socially she hangs out with freinds who accept her and though she does not behave in femine ways it hasn't seemed to hurt her much at all. She says she prefers being a girl as long as she can still do some guy things too. So if she gravitates toward girls as sexual partners it's fine with us, if she goes for guys it's fine too. Just as long as she chooses a partner that treats her well and respects her for the beautiful person she is. So as a mom, I would say first and foremost, don't label your child. Label's set limits. Be sensitive to the needs and questions your child asks. Don't let people tell you that for the good of your child it is YOUR RESPONSIBILTY to make sure they are socially acceptable. That places you and your child in a position of failure, because socially acceptable is different for everyone. No one can live up to an expectation that doesn't exist. Above all I suggest honesty. It's hard enough for a child to deal with feelings of not fitting in, or confusion, let alone when they have no idea where these feelings are comming from. Fortunately it is a better more accepting society out there than it was years ago. Girls are allowed to enjoy guy things in realative peace. It's getting better for guys too. As for the finger pionters, I can only hope that I have prepared both my children for that. Just as I hope that we have given them both the tools to go as far as they can go and love themselves and each other for who they are. And Please definately be open minded. You've got to grow with your childs needs, because those needs are going to change drastically as they grow. Acceptance and love are something no child can go with out. I am so glad there is a website out here for this. I wish it had existed when my daughter was born. There are simply not enough resources for parrents to take advantage of. Even though sometimes she deals with confusing feelings, at least she knows that she is not alone. She doesn't look at her situation as a problem,she just thinks it is part of who she is.

abbylauren - abbygrl@wildmail.com

Comments - hi i just found this place sorta by chance and wanted to ask a question. i dont know who else to ask so i hope someone can help me. first of all let me say that im in a relationship that is poly...3 of us including myself. i am female, and lesbian. i am not intersexed or anything and am just learning about all of this after learning that both of the woman i have fallen in love with used to not be women physically. now, i love these women dearly and accept them for who they are. i understand why they didnt tell me at first, they were afraid, didnt know how,ect.... however, part of me cant help wondering ...didnt i have a right to know before i fell in love with them? sigh...im not sure that it matters anyway because i do love them and this new information doesnt really change anything unless i let it. But im just wondering what everyone thinks about this topic? Any info or advice would be appreciated. thanks, abby

Jenn & Tom - TJNovicki@aol.com

Comments - On July 8th, my husband and I welcomed our second child into the world. The nurse announced it was a girl, but within a few seconds I learned that my child had ambiguous gentilia. A blood test revealed that our baby was 46 xy chromosome. An ultra sound did not reveal testes, there are two masses undescended-but we are not sure what they are. He is currently not producing testorone, and will begin recieving shots in two weeks. The doctors feel if the responds to the testoreone, that we should continue with the male sex assignment. Although, if he does not respond and demonstrates ais, then they recommend that we make him a girl. Looking at your news letter, I assume he is about a grade 4 on your scale. My husband and I do not know what to do? If the testorone does not work, is it better to reconstruct and make him a female, or raise him as a male(who would never be able to have sexual intercourse).Our heart hurts having to face this decision, we need some help from people living with this! Thank you, Jennifer & Tom Novicki TJNovicki@aol.com

abbylauren - abbygril@wildmail.com

Comments - Since im not intersexed maybe i shouldnt even answer this but just wanted to say hello, and im wondering, do you have to make a decision as far as surgery goes? One of my partners was born hermaphroditic as she puts it and did not have surgery until much later in life when she could make her own decision. i know this probably doesnt help much but just my random thoughts on the subject. Good luck with whatever you decide.

JESSICA - Jesijaber

Comments - I am not intersexed. I am however researching and writing a short story, where the main character is. I believe in understanding a character fully before I undertake trying to write it.Any thoughts or exchanges would be a great help to me. thanks..JESS

Howell - Daystrom13@msn.com

Comments - I'm a straight 38 year old male that started developing breasts (big ones) around age 8 or so. By the time I was 12 I was constantly being mistaken for a girl, to the point where other kids and staff members at school actually felt the need to verify my gender by asking my sister if I were really her brother (or male). I've never had an easy time making friends through childhood or as an adult. It seems the closest thing I have to friends are those that "don't mind" being seen with me.

Aisy - aisyamara@hotmail.com

Comments - I am an austrailian female with male genitalia as a birth defect. Although almost unoticeable, this problem has never been addressed by surgery and has left me with severe problems with the forming of relationships. I am looking for people who have or do suffer this problem, to contact me or to direct me towards a support group, either online or in the New South Wales area. Please help me. Aisyamara@hotmail.com Aisy

dott - legion150@yahoo.com

Comments - I have enjoyed reading through this website and am glad it is here. Thanks. I was altered at birth and have held that anger for nearly 40 years. It is good to know I am not alone in this. For the longest time I felt that I was just a freak...my own family called me that all my life. I struggle now with deciding whether or not to step out of the shame/secrecy closet that I have lived in. I just don't know how to go about it...or if anyone would really care, except myself. Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

"Joey" - joeyk@thuntek.net

Comments - I am a female who was born with all of my gender parts fully intact. I do not have an enlarged clitoris. However, I often wish I had an enlarged clitoris, and sometimes I think about either getting it enlarged or enlarging it myself. For awhile I wanted surgery, but I was told it would be impossible to do because such surgery, if it existed, could cause all kinds of painful problems. Now I think about using my own fingers to enlarge my clitoris myself, and I often fantasize about what my life would be like if my clitoris were enlarged. I suffer from depression, penis envy, obsessive compulsive disorder, and post traumatic stress disorder because from the time I was little up until November of 1995, and off and on, my dad molested me, exposed me to pornography, and encouraged me to develop homosexual feelings and desires for other women. He basically made me feel inferior because I was born a girl instead of a boy, even though he never told me directly that I was inferior. It was his actions as well as his emotional abuse of me, which continues today, that totally destroyed my sexuality and my self-esteem. I will never be able to trust any man with my body, so I have remained a virgin. I have a crush on a female friend of mine named Nancy, which has remained ongoing since September of 2002. Plus, my penis envy, which has been going on for the past several years. As much as I would love to have an enlarged clitoris, I have to get over that and my homosexual crush on Nancy because I am a Christian now, and I am currently using an antidepressant called Lexapro, which is helping me with my depression, obsessive compulsive disorder, and post traumatic stress disorder. So, if I am not an intersexual, why am I sharing my story? Because I simply wanted to let everyone out there know that there is nothing wrong with being born an intersexual because one, God made you in His image, and two, there are "normal" women like me who actually do envy other women who were born with enlarged clitorises. I also wanted to address the sexual abuse issue. Thank you!

Sean Miller - bigdaddydogg@.

Comments - uhhhhhhh oh!

Sean Miller - bigdaddydogg@.

Comments - yo ima wirdo like u ppl, how cools that eh? im also from Canada, eh? So lets have a Labatt blue, eh?

Francis - pukekou@aol.com

Comments - I don't really know what I am - even now at my advanced age I have been trying very hard to contact berdache jordan but I cannot get an E-mail through to him. I have shut myself off from sexual reality all of my life and only now am I seeking answers.

Lou - l.talley@att.net

Comments - Two conditions: klinefelter syndrome (XXY) Gynecomastia (female breasts) Choice is to live in self pity or meet the challange regardless of the odds. Very inspired by a man who was born with Cerebral Palsy, may not seem like the same challenge faced by intersexed people, but it is in how we deal with adversity. Hope others will read the story and triumphs of this man and apply it to themselves whatever the odds are being faced. As a nationally known speaker since 1973, David shares his story with over 100,000 people each year at churches, conventions, schools and corporate events.� He has been featured on numerous occasions on several nationally televised programs. Whether giving a motivational message at a sales convention, or inspiring church leaders, David always focuses on an individual's need to conquer the personal challenges and adversities of life.� As you hear David Ring, you will laugh...and cry.� You will be amazed at his triumph over odds.� You will be moved to consider your own life.� As one who has not been stifled by his physical limitations, he clearly states his challenge to everyone, " I have Cerebral Palsy - What's your problem?" David's book Just As I Am, (Moody Press, Chicago, IL) tells about his heartaches and victories, and addresses the central theme of his life: "Triumph Over Odds." http://www.davidring.org/index.htm

lost - iamafreakee@yahoo

Comments - wow,,,my story?,,,,how do you tell a story of 33 years of heartache , hell , loneliness , shame and fear ? 33 years of feeling like a freak of nature , terrifide of anyone ever finding out your dark hiding secret.......of what you really are under the layers of both clothes, and of lies ,,,,,,,,because in reallity ,,,one way or another , my entire life since the time i realized i was different, has been a lie . all lies to cover up who i am. guess what world .......i really do love swimming ,,,,i really do love going outside and living life ,,but you know what ,,,,,,,,it is dam hot out in the summer, and if your a guy with the beginings of breasts ,,,,,then you know what i'm talking about. oh god ,,i can't go through one more summer ,,i swear.nope,not going to do it . boy is this messed up ,,,can anyone even understand my babble ? not that it matters , cause i doubt i will have the nerve to click the sumit ,,,,,you see this is the sixth day in a row i have come here since i found this site,,,,, i keep checking ,,,over and over all day for new posts ,,,,trying to get the courage to write a letter, e-mail someone ,,,something ....not just sit here crying........ i feel like i'm being punished,,,,,,,, god when will this be over????? i tried checking out once ,,twice actually ,in the same night . in my early twenties,,,,,,scared the piss out of me ...literally... i bought a six pack , a pizza , 100 acinaminaphine , and got a hotel room,,,,i watched a movie while i drank my beer and ate my pizza(favorite food),,when the movie was over and was feeling a nice little buzzzzzz from the beer , i crushed up all 100 pills , mixed them in water ,,,,drank it down ,,and went to sleep..........thinking.......hoping.........this would work ,,,,,i had wanted to do this for years , but i was to horrifide of anyone finding my body and discoverying my secret ,,, so i never did it ,,,,,but today was different ,,,,there was no other way out,,,, my life was unbearable and no one can possiblely understand what i am going through ever second of every day ..... i was feeling the effects of the pills as i drifted off to sleep......darkness fell over me .....the next thing i remember was ,,eyes slam open ,,,i am awake ,,,,then all of a sudden it felt like someone just plunged their fist into my gut and then pushed everything out ,,,,,,,,,it didn't work ,,,,i regained my scences ,,,,,took off my belt,,,,tested it for strength,,,should do it i though ,,,its a braided leather belt(hip to wear at the time).after i made a loop i tied a knot at the end and opened the hotel door ,,,,hung the knotted end over the top of the door and then closed the door,,,,,,,used a chair to help get my head in the loop,,,then slowly lowered my weight on the belt , as it sinched up tighter around my neck i could feel an overwelming wave of fear come over me ,, then everything just went fuzzy like when your cable is cut off,,,,,then faded to black.......... i woke up face down on the floor gasping for air ,,,,,,,,how long was i out ,,,ouch ,,,it hurts to swallow ,,,oh my god i pissed myself ,,,,,,what the hell? what happened ?,,,,,,,looking in the mirror at the tattoo circling my neck ,,,how is it that i am still alive ,,,,i went to investigate the belt.....i couldn't believe it ,,,not that it broke , but how it broke .....the belt had looked like it was cut straight across,,,this was unbelievable ,,,this was a braided belt ,,,,if you've ever seen a rope snap,,,you know that all the strands do not break at the exact same place,,,,i was starting to feel like their was some higher intervention going on here ,,,, hmmmm all of a sudden i didn't think this was the best idea after all,,,,,,,,what if there is a god and i go to hell for killing myself,,,,what if that hell was worse than the one i'm living now? maybe i really do have a purpose here on earth,,yeah thats it ,,yeah i'm suppose to be this way,yeah god probably needs 30 year old virgins for something biblical someday ,,,he'll come calling one day ,,and it will all make sence then. I guess i better just stay here and do my time ,,,,try to eek by unnoticed by the rest of the world.......... you would not believe the bullshit i've fed myself ,,,just to make it through another day,,,,,,,,,that was just a taste,,, gee i should submit this before i chicken out...... i think my biggest fear is,, that i have always held on to the hope that someday,,,,i will be fixed and i can live a normal happy life ,,,with someone to love ,,and someone to love me back,,,,you see until very recently ,,i didn't even know anyone like me exsited,,nevermind having a name for it ,,,,,,,,,,,finding out has filled me with such hope ,,,,,,,,,but along side that hope is 33 years of fear ,,,,,,,,,fear that if i open up ,,and reach out to someone i might find out i can't be fixed and no one will love me the way i am .... the last thing i've ever heard my mom say about my condition was 20 years ago when i was 13(last time i saw a doctor),,i over heard my mom say "is there anything that can be done about the length?" doc said " NO " those words have haunted me..... if someone were to tell me today ,,that i have to spend the rest of my life ,,living as i do now,,,and that there is no hope for change,,,,,,i couldn't handle that ,,

help -

Comments - can someone post what type of doctor an intersexed male should see about getting his penis reconstructed to be of normal size and look . is it possible ? or if you have had this done?

lords - lordjohnson@yahoo.com

Comments - Is there anyone here who actually has a functioning penis and vagina? Please email me pictures.

lords - lordsjohnson@yahoo.com

Comments - Sorry, my email was wrong in that other post. It's lordsjohnson@yahoo.com

Doug Kahn - dougkahn@aol.com

Comments - I'm not intersexual (at least so far as I know). I am heterosexual, and I've been thinking about discrimination against gays, lesbians and bisexuals recently. The current debate over "same sex marriage" seems to have crystallized my thinking somewhat; I've come to believe that discrimination against people who look or act different from the privileged group (of which I am a member) is a social ill which must be addressed now, and that the victims of the mistreatment cannot be expected to 'take the heat' for demanding change from other human beings. Please understand that I've come to this conclusion only in the last month or so, and also that I'm relatively ignorant of almost all aspects of this problem, although from recent conversations I've had with friends and family, I seem to have thought about this a lot more than most people. Of course I mean I've thought about it more than most people who haven't suffered from discrimination and other victimization. (Surgery on intersexed children! The Dark Ages! What kind of world is this?) The reason I found this web site is that I'm in the middle of writing a letter to the NY Times about the proposed Constitutional Amendment to define marriage as strictly between a man and a woman. Yesterday it occurred to me that the simplest reason we can't tolerate such an amendment (and the state laws which apparently now exist) is that in reality, practically, physically, human beings cannot be divided up into just 'man and woman.' What do the people pushing these laws contemplate: examining people physically and biologically before marriage licenses can be issued? I say that as though the prospect is impossible, but I guess some people will actually be in favor of doing that. That's not going to happen in this country if I can help it. We're all human beings, we all have to have the same rights, and obviously that means we have to be able to marry whomever we want. I say obviously, but it wasn't obvious to me until recently. (It goes without saying that the surgeries have to stop.) Anyway, if I send a letter to the Times saying this kind of thing, and it is printed, will it offend intersexual people, and cause pain and suffering? I don't want to do that. I'm sorry I haven't done anything specific to help stop the bad things that we, as a society, are doing to hurt intersexual people. I promise to get busy. Can I get some guidance on how to say this kind of thing to other human beings who are privileged like I am, write letters and such, without making things worse for intersexuals? Doug Kahn

Comments -

Tami - tamiimagine@yahoo.com

Comments - I'm really against American doctors making genital mutilation a standard procedure (sp?)in the U.S.and I am doing a project for my speech team that deals with thease atrocities. I am looking for poems,songs,short stories that deal with this issue. If anyone can help I'd really appreciate it. Thank you and together we can make a difference!!!:):):)

mike wright - slash64@ureach.com

Comments - Hi Ther; i hafta say i am intrigued by hermaprodites or intersexed people. me and my frin wanted to make it with one. its the best of both worlds i guess. are ther any sites wher yu kin hook up jist fir quick sex

Mike - mike5603@excite.com

Comments - I'm a 45 year old heterosexual man looking for answers. I believe I may have been born as a hermaphrodite. My penis is much smaller than other men, and I've noticed what appear to be surgical scars with stiches on the underside of my penis. My parents are both dead, so I don't know how to find the truth. Can someone help me? Thanks. mike

Lisa - doggielr@aol.com

Comments - I am the mother of a 7 year old daughter who is completely male oriented. She is not simply a "tom boy" as others would say. I don't believe she's going to "grow out of it". She's the most fabulous kid! Unaffected by the world, but I'm so worried about her getting older and peers and all. She's from a liberal family and has noone pressuring her. I want her to be free to be herself.

Anne - Aen4208@ aol.com

Comments - Just A Quick Note For Now: I will tell my story in more detail another time. My legal name is Richard but I have been using anne for over six years and it is my common law name! All my life I have struguled with issuse of gender and feeling that I did not fit into one sex or the other. I have female breasts and there are other obvious physical differances as well, Im not sure how much detail I should give in this forum so I will leave it at that for now. Anyway, this obviously caused me to have socialization problems as a child and in fact caused a full blown riot in the locker room on my 1st day of junior high Phys. Ed. More on that in another message. I had grown up in a completly dysfunctional family and until that day had no idea of how differant I really was! The school insisted we get into family consouling to deal with my problem but, with an alcoholic father and two developmentaly disabled brothers one younger and one older my problems were soon shunted aside & I was basicly told to suck it up and act like a man. my family continued the therapy for awhile but I refused to go after the six session. that was when I was told to suck it up! I will summarize the rest of the story now and give more details later. My father continued drinking the rest of his life! My younger brother wound up in prison. My older one had drug problems and finaly got clean several years ago, he now lives in adult foster care! Now as for me I lived an life of what I will call fits and starts! With limited success untill about eight years ago. In addition to my own issues I had inherited my fathers taste for the bottle! But I got help due to an intervention by cocerned family & freinds. I started attending adult children of alcoholics meetings, got into therapy, got into college and got a job all in the same one month period. I worked with my therapist one on one in weekly sessions. During the first few months I saw her I pretended that the main issue in my life had been that i thought of myself as being homosexual. I'm sure she could see right thru that and as the months passed and i became more comfortable working with her the truth about my gender issuse came out! I was diagnoised with Gender Identity Disorder. I began cross dressing shortly after that and on April 8th 1988 I began living as a female full time at work, school and at home 24/7. this was the best time of my life I was living my idea of the american dream! Accepeted as female by my community, I was an honors student in college with a good paying job and on my way in life. However, this would not last in 2002 I was nearing completion of my first degree and anticipating continue on to graduate school while also working with a partner on starting a small business. My junior partner got everything about my gender issuse and understood that I was 100% psychologicaly and emotionaly female and that was great. But he was an older gentalemen and treated women in a way that was inappropiate for this day and age. I on the other hand being the senoir partner and in my mid forty's expected to be treated with dignity and equality of a modern women! Well obviously things deteriorated quickly! At first it was just verbal insults in public and he would yell and scream when i disagreed with him in the office. Then came the physical abuse at that time I speed dialed 911 and told him to get out and never come near me again or the police would become involved! He left but started calling and harrasing me on the phone threatening to sue me for thousands of dollars which was stupid since i had been the only one to invest in the business. When that threat did not get to me the death threats began! I could not handle it anymore even though the police were watching me I was terrified and at the same time ashamed of my gender issues I internalized everything and blamed myself for the mess my life had become! Realising I had become suicidal I checked myself into the local hospital! Well, the staff was wonderfull and because I was know as a good respected member of the community I was treated accordingly by everyone one there except my assigned psychiatrist's a man of course whom insisted at our first sesion that I was nothing more then a homosexeual in denial and that I was right about deserving the abuse I had recived. However, what that doctor did not yet know was that the head of the hospital was my personal physician when one the nurses related the story of how the psychiatrist had treated me. My doc of course called him on the carpet and one of my relatives threatend a lawsuit. That made him more docile but did not change his opinion of me so my physican called in a top knotch Doctor and gender specialist whom did a complete physical as well as lab testing. the results were that I was found to have an female hormonal balance with some hormones being in the low range for male or female! It was further explained to me that this imbalnce could be responsible for my diabietes and cellulitis two diseases I have strugled with all my life! The specialist also told me that he suspected an underlying intersex condition to be the cause of my physical anomilies although the test he did could not prove that conclusivly! Well, in the end the shrink had to amke a half hearted public apology to me to keep his job. I gained a better understanding of who i'm and why I feel the way i do and I have a new rule in life NO BUSINESS PARTNERS EVER! :-) Well, life is much better now I look forward to finaly completing my graduation requiremants and attending the ceremony in June! But I will take a year off before going to grad school because I need to attend to the Cellulitis which has become serious and I have decided to begin the transformation process to become fully female!!!! :-) What I want to say to the community is never let yourself get a deppresed as I was, there are understanding and caring people out there to help seek them out and NEVER NEVER be ashamed of yourself! This only the short version of my story in later entrys I will give the full story in bits and pieces. I would like and welcome positive feedback keep your negative thoughts to yourself though. Also I would like to know how far I can go in detail without violating the rules or comfort level of this forum? Thanks for listening and reading sorry about the typo's don't you just hate it when there's no spell check! ... BYE BYE for now ANNE

Anne - Aen4208@aol.com

Comments - Please Note April, 8th, 1988 should read April, 8th, 1998 Sorry about that!

Cristina - cristinamariepr@hotmail.com

Comments - This is a wonderful site. I guess I started out as your average transexual. I was feeling like a girl when I was round 7. I can't remember further back. I wanted to be like my younger sister and I would dress in her cloths. Later it was my mothers cloths. I would use makeup and dress thinking that someday I could live like a woman. I was around 12 at that time. I discovered the Christian Jorgenson case when I was 16 and now I was sure I could have my dream come true and I could become a full time woman. But by the time I was 20 I knew in my heart that I wouldn't be able to live like I wanted to live. It was because of my parents, my family and friends. I come from a latin family and what I wanted to do would have disgraced the family. So in privare I was a woman and when I went out I was a male. I did get married and i had a wonderful son. My marriage lasted 25 years and the time came when I couldn't deal with it any longer. I got divorced and I am now about to have an orchi dectomy. I live full time as a woman and I am wondering if in Florida I would be considered a legal female if I have just the orchidectomy. If someone knows I would appreciate hearing from you. I feel happy and it really took a long time. Good luck to all who are going thru that difficult period. Its always a matter of time. Love to all, Cristina.

Amy (Aimee) Karen Dawn Brooks - Amy_jewish@yahoo.co.uk

Comments - I have been jewish from first day of infants school and as a child in school i had been told that I had 'hidding' surgery because i had been told that boys/man made more money which is not true when before concussion doing full time concultancy on computer made more money than if I declareed my declared by others male name and when wearing pregnancy clothes of clip side trousers got taken for myself. Tell more later you can contact me on Amy_Jewish@Yahoo.co.uk and i will say more soon Thanks Amy (Aimee) Karen Dawn Brooks

Amy (Aimee) Karen Dawn Brooks - Amy_jewish@yahoo.co.uk

Comments - Comments - I have been jewish from first day of infants school and as a child in school i had been told that I had 'hidding' surgery because i had been told that boys/man made more money which is not true when before concussion doing full time concultancy on computer made more money than if I declareed my declared by others male name and when wearing pregnancy clothes of clip side trousers got taken for myself and found out through university internet antenna system that I am XXY and identify as 'myself' and that is female and male, and male and female and prefer feminine clothes. Tell more later you can contact me on Amy_Jewish@Yahoo.co.uk and i will say more soon Thanks Amy (Aimee) Karen Dawn Brooks

Alexander -

Comments - Love this site! Such a wealth of information- everyone should know this stuff! As a transsexual man, it is sometimes easy for me to slip into thinking that trans and intersexed people are "in the same boat." This site helped remind me that while our struggles are similar, they are also very different. Thanks for the site and keep up the good work! http://www.angelfire.com/extreme/transrevolution/trannyboy.html

Amanda-Rae Neligan - neliganr@shaw.ca

Comments - Just a quick intro.to myself. I am 50 years old and was diagnosed as a 46xx/46xy mosiac. To be honest I have known something was very wrong with my anatomy most of my life and experienced things that should not have happened to a boy at puberty.I have spent most of my life living in shame of my body and became very withdrawn. Evedently my parents at my birth and against the birthing doctors wishes decided that I should be assigned as male.. Only in the past couple of years have I decided to become what I should have been. best decision I ever made..

Kerrith D. Griffin - kdezyerj@hotmail.com

Comments - Hi, I would like to conduct an interview with anyone interested. I am doing a paper that will basically discuss whether or not parents and doctors should choose the gender of their intersexual child or if that child should be able to grow up and choose for him or herself. I can do the interview over the phone or via email. Please let me know if anyone is interested. Kerrith Griffin kdezyerj@hotmail.com

Violet - inviol@hotmail.com

Comments - I am a Sexual Health educator in the UK, and at the moment find that there is very little educational material around intersexuality- most of what I have found is very dry and clinical. Could anybody point me in the right direction? I would be very grateful :)

Susan Kempler - SKempler124@aol.com

Comments - I still think it's a mistake to confuse Turner's Syndrome with intersexuality --we are ordinary females! As a woman with Mosaicism (only 20 percent of cells examined in a Karyotype lacked the second X chromosome)I had a normally formed body at birth and never had any surgical procdures. I never had to deal with any gender or sexual orientation confusion issues, either. The same holds true for every other woman with Turner's Syndrome whom I have ever met (most through my membership in the Turner's Syndrome Society of the United States). I know who and what I am, and sometimes it's very upsetting to encounter inaccurate information.

Steve Loppnow - venisonamerica@aol.com

Comments - I was diagnosed with Klinefeltors Syndrome when I was 26, I di not start Testosterone until I was 28 and now that I am 35, I question if it was the right thing to do. I have a lot of gender identity issues, though I look like a man from the outside (Somewhat) - I feel more like a woman on the inside. How do I explain it to my wife, kids and family, that I feel better as a woman. What's wrong with me? Can anyone help? My wife just doesn't understand, and I may lose her, my kids, my job, and all that I have known. Signed confused and looking for others like me.

Madniteowl2 - madnessreigns2004@yahoo.com

Comments - Doing my own Research & visiting with my Endocrinologist, I learned that I have Gynecomastia & KlineFelter's Syndrome. Life as a teenager for me was HELL!! Especially while attending High School in a small town. I hated gym classes due to the Catcalls and rude,insensitive sexual commentary in the locker room atmosphere. I flunked those classes,because I took my showers at home to avoid embarassement. A few years ago, I talked with my Mom about my Gynecomastia,she laughed nervously and said not to worry. As all men age,they get those! When I go outdoors,I rarely take my shirt off. I also discovered while doing Research that this is considered a common condition among Men,why is that so? I've been married 4 times,had a daughter. Not sure if I'm her true father as I'm infertile. My current relationship with my g/f has lasted going on 9 yrs. now. Consider myself Straight,but when I look in the mirror I see a Freak of Nature. My drive flucuates, I just Life one day at a time. Would like to find a Support Group somewhere? Have a great Day!! :>D

Madniteowl2 - madnessreigns2004@yahoo.com

Comments - I like this site! People are not afraid to speak their mind and judging from what I've read so far,the conversation can get quite Spicy!! Tami:Be more tolerant of others different from yourself, God made us all like we are for a reason. Pandora: Hang in There! It does'nt really matter what we call ourselves,its all a matter of personal preferences. To Each His Own! (Great Name) To all the Dudes trying to score: Fella's,this is not the proper place to go. People come here to find Support and Understanding, not to be picked up or hit on. But Hey,these are only my opinions anyway. I've had Gynecomastia since my teen years. The VA did some tests and found out I have Klinefelter's Syndrome. Not sure if I'm Intersexed,other than that,I'm a normal red-blooded Human. Wait,am I HUMAN? :>()

Mike - kaoxen@earthlink.net

Comments - Your site is awesome! I, too, was born before genetic tests were readily available. According to my mother, they weren't entirely sure what I was at the time of my birth. When I hit puberty, I had small male genitals, but my nipples became very sore and swollen and I began to develope as a female. Rather than growing a beard and having my voice change, my hips widened and I grew full female breasts. The torment and abuse I received from peers and family made my life pure hell. I was a freak. Each day I began by binding my chest with strips of sheet, then covering up with an undershirt, an overshirt, and even a sweater or jacket over that in the summer. When my mother finally took me to see our small town doctor because SHE was embarrassed, he was stumped. This was the early 1960s and he'd never seen anything like it in all his years of practice. Not much was known about intersexuality at that time outside of the universities. He put me on oral testostone, and my genitals actually grew to normal proportions. I took the hormones for about 12 years, and eventually had surgery to remove my breasts. That was before liposuction, so I'm terribly scarred from the surgery. In fact, I recently saw a documentary on female-to-male transsexuals, and when they removed their shirts, their chests (with breasts removed) looked exactly like my chest today. So, after all of that, what was the outcome? Today I feel predominantly male, but not fully male or fully female --- I'm somewhere in between. My developmental history left emotional as well as physical scars, so I don't feel comfortable having physical relations with others, although years ago I experimented sexually with both genders. Straight people think I'm gay, and gay people think I'm weird because I don't have relationships with anyone. I never knew until recently that there was a name for someone like me. Thank you so much for your website! At 53, I'm feeling a decrease in hormones, so I recently went to a doctor at a university medical center. After explaining my history, he decided to perform genetic and hormone tests (DNA karyotype, FSH and LH levels, etc.), in part to see if he can determine what I am genetically. We are still waiting for the results. I feel better knowing that there are others out there like me. Intersexuality seems to fall along a continuum of many different body types from the true hermaphrodite with both male and female genitals on one end of the spectrum, to psuedo (false) hermaphrodites with various degrees of gender dysphoria on the other end of the scale. Although my body now appears fairly male, my "brain sex" still falls within that in-between place where my body once was.

Carol - olddodge@vaix.net

Comments - I am a mother of a 8 year old boy.He was born with hypospadious, he has had 9 surgies.The results were not the best but still better than he started. We just found out that he has a leak and will have to start all over .. i was just woundering if any other parents have been though this and might give some advise our way thank you .

Anne - aen4208@aol.com

Comments - Just a quick update, I graduated from college in June of this year. Im, taking a year off before I move onto graduate school! I'am also working on my name change but the proscess for me has become terrably complicated due to family legal matters. The cellulities on my legs has started to clear after years of treatment however, I will always have permanent scars aint that a -----! Makes getting involved with someone in a physical relationship damn impossoble! Oh well guess I'm doomed to be a do it yourselfer for the rest of my life ;-( Life better now then when I last wrote eveyone on this site but, it is still terribaly hard . My medical expenses nearly bankrupted me, this not just because of my intersex issues but complications from type 1 diabietes as well and I was in an no fault accident with my hanndicapped scooter last year and had to pay my medical expense out of pocket. Broke my left arm and fractured all the bones in the wrist and hand ouch! Had a minor back injury as well that causes chronic pain. The good news is I qualified for SSI and Medicaid the bad news is they are always looking for excuses to take it away. I got a settlement from a class action lawsuit a couple of week ago that had been filed years ago it was under thirty two hundred dollars. By the time I by my medical supplies that I have need for and pay off my debts it will be gone but they act like I suddenly became a millionare. Do not miss understand me I do not want to stay on the government dole my whole life oterwise I would not have finished college yet, the fact is that I cannot get private insurance. Both because of my medical history and being intersexed. I do want to work and the state has developed a plan to help me in that area but, they will not help me impliment it unless I change my gender and legal name on my I.D. card or I agree to going back to dressing as a male! That is a ridiculous suggestion since I have been out as an intersexed person and living female 24/7 for eight years no in the same community chances are that any potential employer is going to know who I'am and what I'm about anyway. Well what can you do I just do not let it get me down and keep keeping on as they say! If you do not understand my entire message please read my first one above it as it explains more about me in detail. That's all I have for today hang in there and I will check back when I can Bye All ... Anne!

Stephanie - sbarnesville@hotmail.com

Comments - A dear friend was distraught because her newborn baby has a micropenis. In an attempt to help, I surfed. Eventually, I came across the page on this website entitled: Additional Glossary of Terms (It is found at the bottom of the Intersexuality Vocabulary page, and is well worth the read.) The humour, the satire and the sincerity balance the bitterness at being treated by the medical community as a 'subject', rather than as a human being. I forwarded the link to my friend, with some of my own thoughts, and much to my profound and immediate relief, she has decided to DECLINE CIRCUMCISION, which had been recommended by the urologist, so that the penis would "...be more recognizably a penis, and not just an enlarged clitoris". Any time I can play a part in stopping someone from having genital mutilation, like circumcision, performed on a baby I am relieved; and all the more so in a case such as this. My friend has now sought out the advice of more knowledgable professionals, and her baby's 'condition' will be treated with sensitivity and respect. Babies are beautiful. Surely we shouldn't be cutting anything off them. Thank you all for participating. Best of luck to eveyone here!

misinterpreted - micks_2@hotmail.com

Comments - I am intersexed i am 20 years old i was assigned female and but think they made a big mistake. I have never met or talked to another person like me and hope that i could here from a person that knows what i am going through. I just wish that this never happened to me. Anyway i hope someone responds to this.

Michelle - in2pinkpigs@peoplepc.com

Comments - I found your site when I was looking for help for my sister. She was born we think intersexed. I am trying to help her find help. If anyone could let me know what she needs to do to find out for sure please let me know.

Tammy - attiliawolf@juno.com

Comments - I have Klinfelters syndrome and was reassigned female, but also have paranoid schizophrenia. I get long fine when I�m by myself, or at home, but in public, I think people are laughing at me or wanting to harm me because I have bad gender. I also have never been sexual, and would not want to be. I don�t like any words sexual, and I worry people want to harm me because they think I have dirty thoughts or am dirty. I like television, reading and looking things up on the net, but I don�t like people looking at me.

Comments -

Kim - mbs69@lycos.com

Comments - Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Kim, I'm a 39 year old female, who's been "actively" seeking a female hermaphrodite friendship and romance for the past 21 years. If you're seeking a friend, who's willing to listen and accept you for who and what you are, please feel free to contact me. Take a chance, you have nothing to lose and all to

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