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Gender (Gay,
Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender) Community Wall
| Nicole - Nicole@healthyplace.com - Too
old |
| Comments - There was a time When I found
who I am I felt my problems were sublime, And proceeded to to tell the world, I
am Sara, please don't call me Sam. But they looked at me with an evil eye And I
felt the joy fade, the wonderment die, They told me, you're not Sara, you'll be
Sam until you die! So I lived a lie, and watched the years melt by..by..by But
when I couldn't take the lieing any more I again came out and told them who I
am! They laughed at me and asked well lookie here, we have an ungly whore! I
wouldn't let them scare me, I wouldn't hide the fact I am inside a woman. I
came out and I must say, no thanks to Al Gore! I am a woman, now they all want
me, to cheat on their wives and drive me crazy. |
|
| Cerys - las90154@port.ac.uk -
19 |
| Comments - I just want the world to know
that I am bisexual & happy with it!!!My parents don't know but all my
friends,my boyfriend & my sister knows,thankyou to all of you for being so
supportive.I suffer from bulimia,depression & possibly a personality
disorder.Being open about my sexuality has helped me to pull myself up a little
from this pit. |
|
| Jenny Davis - jennyedavis@excite.com -
49 |
| Comments - I am a 49 year old, married,
TV/CD. I had worked hard to deny and in fact prevent the feelings of being
trangender for my entire life. I found out that there is no way that I do this.
I guess you are what you are, so don't deny it. |
|
| Lain Kennedy - lainkennedy1@yahoo.com -
46 |
| Comments - Your focus determines your
reality. I am a M to F TS. I have 3 children, and a ton of responsibilities,
but I must live my truth! Stay focused. Lain Kennedy |
|
| Sue - Tickelbee@webtv.net -
50 |
| Comments - My goodness look at me at
50,female, Lesbian,still comming out as our Herstory evolves if you made it
this far here's a hug from me! Take pride in how far you've come...have faith
in far you can go..and with a little help from each other we will
survive |
|
| Drew - nico3sum@aol.com - |
| Comments - I really appreciate you guys
and the coming out chat conference. I don't feel hopeless anymore. Now that I
know that there is a way to reach my goals(hormone therapy,sex change,etc.), I
feel unstoppable. I was told before that I wouldn't be able to have anything
done unless I went to another state like California where they admit
transgender all the time... I am hoping tonight that I get some good news from
the Doc. Maybe he could get really involved and see to it that I get the best
help possible and just be there with me throughout the whole thing. I have
graduated from high school and wish to go to college but I refuse because I
want to get my sex change done and overwith. I already know what it's like to
be stuck in the wrong body while attending school. I don't want to have to go
through all the lying and pretending again. Besides it causes a great amount of
DEPRESSION. Anyways, this is my first time here and so far I am really amazed
at all the features. Again, I really appreciate all of your concern ---
Thanking You In Advance --- Drew - Lilburn, Ga, US |
|
| ::*violetfaerie*:: - lolli1979@yahoo.com -
21 |
| Comments - "Give me life, give me
pain, give me myself again." ::Tori Amos:: "Little
Earthquakes" |
|
| TybeeGuy - tybeeguy@webtv.net -
thirty-something... |
| Comments - DALTON, GEORGIA, are there
any gay guys in my area for mutual support, socialization, and friendship?
Please email me. I will answer promptly and sincerely. I am
discreet. |
|
| Brenda - Angelicall@aol.com -
39 |
| Comments - I have the Courage to be who
I am. |
|
| Derek - Derekbi@za.ibm.com -
28 |
| Comments - It's my Life ! It takes
Strength to Survive, and Courage to Live. Too often people only survive, trying
to play by the rules of the society in which they exist. I've received hundreds
of calls and mails from people - afraid to come out, afraid to be who they are,
afraid to live their own lives. This is my challenge. Come Out, Have the
courage to be who you are. You are unique - so what if you lose friends and
family along the way - if those people cannot "stand" who you are,
that's their problem, not yours. What right does anyone else have to make You
feel guilty for being who you are ? I am a Gay Man - it does not make me less
of a man, it does not make me less of a person. Why should it make you any less
of a person by being who you are ? They say the measure of a man is humility,
love, compassion and Spirit. I know many people who are top surgeons, lawyers,
psychologists, etc. Does it matter that they are gay / lesbian / bisexual ?
When the homophobic anti-glbt person's son or daughter needs brain surgery as a
matter of surviving a few more hours, I have never yet heard any of them
stopping to check : er, excuse me, before you operate on my little bobby or
susie, are you Normal, you know like straight - IO mean i am anti glbt and
couldn't possibly have it that a gay/lesbian person operate on my child. When
GLBT people save lives, heal people, share suffering and compassion, does it
matter that they are GLBT ? So what are you afraid of - you are living in fear
of other peoples small minded - narrow sighted fears. Free yourself from such
rubbish. You can wait another twenty years to stand up for yourself yes, but
it's your life that you are wasting in that time. Do not be afraid to stand up
for who you are, and do not be afraid to be yourself. |
|
| Mories Beljaars - mories@chello.nl -
35 |
| Comments - Hi, I just got this
invitation which I am proud of, to join HealthyPlace, with my support site and
later on, support group, for GAY BOYS. Teen-agers still suffer a lot nowadays,
but gay teen-agers sometimes really feel the whip coming down on them. This
will change but at the moment some propriate support is needed, I suppose.
Therefore I made my GayBoySupport site
(http://GayBoySupport.HealthyPlace2.com). There is also a poem on the site,
which I want to copy on The Wall. Kind regards to all of you! My first time by
my buddy was outside in a wheat field I couldn't believe what I was feelin' on
this silent afternoon, in this scraping but yet soft wheat, the warming sun
with it's blinding beams and the welcoming atmosphere All this made me open up
and believe this was the one thing that counted in life the best thing there
was and would be the best feeling one could ever have and an experience never
ever to forget yes, even to pass on to others Friendship between buddies is
special and more valuable than golden medals If you have a free mind, you will
never forget, die or be forgotten and the love and power inside you will enrich
anyone else poem by my former boy-friend T (when i was living abroad)
|
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| Alisa - alisasheldon@hotmail.com - too
young |
| Comments - "I've been to the
rainbow. Black and white doesn't cut it anymore." ---Anonymous I think
that says it all. |
|
| eric - eric@healthyplace.com -
57 |
| Comments - Where there's life, there's
hope - trite but true. Hello everyone, and welcome to the GLBT community. I am
eric, sitemaster of "Gay Is OK!," where I try to help kids in trouble
and to show them that suicide is not the answer (I also have 24/7 emergency
numbers). I am seeking writings from people who have survived their suicide
attempts, and the community journals area needs writers as well. Feel free to
write me at anytime. |
|
| Mark Vincent - Vulcan1967@aol.com -
33 |
| Comments - Fellow Traveler, Everyone has
their own story, their own path and their own trials of life, but sometimes
those trials can be less painful when you are able to talk to a friend. In the
process of coming out and in day to day life dealing with being gay, being
different and being human, it helps to talk to others and hear of their trials.
Sometimes other people's stories help us write our own. I encourage you to find
a trusted friend or a gay positive counselor to help you when you face these
times. And, if you feel the need to, e-mail me... I'm not an expert, but I'm
always willing to listen. Peace and Long Life, Mark Vincent |
|
| Remember our Dead Project - - All
Ages |
| Comments - "Matthew Shepard's name
is so familiar, not only to most people in the GLBTQ community, but to many
others throughout the nation and world. His death galvanized the gay and
lesbian community's fight for civil rights and hate crime laws and provided
impetus for the increased discussion of gay hate crimes by so many people in
our country. But how about Carla Natasha Hunt? Amanda Milan? Chanel Pickett?
Why aren't these names as familiar as Matthew's? Because they were transgender.
A minimum of one individual a month is reported murdered based simply on
anti-transgender hatred. Since the beginning of 2000, there have been a total
of eleven transgender murders, making this year's murder rate of gender-variant
men and women on target to exceed the average. Why is this ongoing tragedy
being ignored? Many times, when these cases are reported in the media -- rare
in itself -- it is common for the gender of preference to be stripped from the
individual and be reported as something like 'a man wearing women's clothes' or
'a woman dressed as a man.' Thus, many murders that are anti-trans in nature
are reported, if at all, as being anti-gay. At the current time, no major
national publication has done any reporting on the issue of anti-transgender
violence. The same is true of television. Yet, the main stream press is not
alone in their blatant disregard for reporting anti-trans violence. The gay and
lesbian press is notoriously silent on the hundreds of anti-trans assaults and
deaths that occur each year. Whether it is the internalized homophobia (and not
so internalized trans-phobia) of the writers and editors in the gay and lesbian
media or simply indifference to the issues of the transgender community is
difficult to say. Remember our Dead: Alina M. Barrigan (San Jose, California),
Stephanie Yazum (Schenectady, New York), Jill Seidel (Honolulu, Hawaii), Tyra
Henderson (Washington, D.C.), Vanesa-Lorena Ledesma (Córdoba,
Argentina), Christine Chappel (Lowestoft, Suffolk, England), Ihok (Lenteng
Agung, Jagakarsa, Indonesia), Deja (aka Dondre) Johnson (Miami, Florida), Carla
Natasha Hunt (Suitland, Maryland), Amanda Milan (New York City, New York), and
Julia (Webster, Texas) - and the many others whose lives have been lost."
|
|
| Scott Mahoney - scottj@healthyplace.com - 34 | | Comments -
Becoming my own person has been an experience I will always treasure. Along this journey there has been pain, isolation, anger, rage, emptiness, and confusion.
What I have found is sense of self, heightened awareness to the emotions of others, peace, solitude and resolution. It has been a process I wouldn't wish on anyone, but I wouldn't change the opportunity to go through it again.
I am a better person for having gone through it. I am a better son, friend, grandson, brother, co-worker, and most of all a better human being.
To all of my LGBT brothers and sisters, I am with you in spirit throughout your journey. I will be waiting at the end of the path with open arms and acceptance.
|
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| Sharon M. - smmusgr@uakron.edu - 47 | | Comments - Personal motto.."Aspire to the Higher" |
|
| Hillary Blackburn - hpb1981@aol.com - 19 | | Comments - Let's all come together as part of the human race to stop all the hate! |
|
| Lexy - LadyD64@adelphia.net - 37 | | Comments - "Out & Proud" (written by me)
If you're queer in Buffalo,
Don't tell them they don't want to know.
"Go to church, change you ways,
End you sinful, damning days.
"We'll find you and we'll beat you up,
then go home and have our sup.
"Don't tell us what you really are,
Don't leave that closet door ajar."
They judge what they don't understand,
They take from us our love and land.
To their dismay I'm fully "out",
"Your ignorance," I want to shout,
"Is based on lies, hyprocrisy,
But we are free to dance with glee.
"Our passions we do not deny,
We love and laugh and even cry.
"We're out there, we are everywhere,
So spare the rod and LEARN TO CARE!" |
|
| LariAnn Garner - AROIDIAN@att.net - 47 | | Comments - I'm posting to share that my wife and I have worked out the issues with me being transgendered and fully out, and that because of what we've done and learned, those of you out there who are likewise striving with this can be assured that there is hope and light at the end of the tunnel. Our story is too extensive to post here in entirety, but it is online at http://home.att.net/~AROIDIAN/intrabio.htm
You are most welcome to come by and share our story. |
|
| Theresa Helwick - sapphite1956@aol.com - 44 | | Comments - I came out at the age of 40 after a 17 year marriage, 4 years of being single, and nearly raising three children. I had had two suicide attempts, and suffered from major depression. Since coming out I lost all but one of my straight friends, my ministry (I had been a Pastoral Minister), my Catholic Church, have been the target of a hate crime and have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I couldn't be happier! I now want to live for the first time in my life. I have wonderful relationships with my kids and extended family, I am excelling at graduate school, and am really happy for the first time in my life. Some of coming out has been painful but my only regret is that I didnt do it sooner. |
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| Marliss - jonnys_little_playmate@yahoo.com - 15 (16 on Tuesday) | | Comments - I wish I had something posistive to put here about how I am. I must say that I am glad and I am very in love with my g/f I just wish I had never come out to my parents. Be proud I am and I know that someday soon I'll be away from here and happy. Good luck. |
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| Bailey - ostrichbrained@yahoo.com - 19 | | Comments - i have found it a difficult road. i almost killed myself a few years ago, b/c i hated myself so much. i lost straight friends b/c i am gay and lost gay friends b/c i am confused or too chicken to come out as a lesbian. i know a handful of glbt ppl, although i live in a big city. high school was really rough, i was harrased by a few ppl. the librarian was the only reason i made it through somewhat sane. i don't know. sometimes i think it was a mistake that i came out and then at other times i embrace it. |
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| Jason - jason@argonaut.com - 27 | | Comments - Highlights of the Gay Life and Style New Millennium Survey
To coincide with this year's Gay Life and Style Exhibition, held at Olympia (July 14-16), Stormbreak, an independent market research company specialising in gay-related issues, in association with Rainbow Network, conducted a survey amongst 283 of the exhibition visitors.
Growing Up Gay
Lonely Young Things Have A Tough Time Of It
The average age at which people realised they were gay was 15 for men and 18 for women. One in 3 knew they were gay by the age of 12.
But the average age of 'coming out' was 23 for men and 25 for women - leaving a 7-8 year gap during which people kept their sexual identities to themselves.
Four out of 5 gay people found it either quite or very difficult to come out - and only 2% said it had been very easy for them.
Secrets And Lies
Fewer than 2 in 5 men and 1 in 3 women were out to everyone who knew them.
Unwanted Straight Sex
One in 3 gay people surveyed either have felt at some point, or continue to feel, pressurised into having heterosexual sex.
Two-thirds of gay people had at some point had heterosexual sex - much more commonly lesbians (which was the case for three quarters of them) than gay men (of whom 2 in 5 had experienced heterosexual sex).
The average age of having sex with a same-sex partner was 18 for men and 21 for women.
Someone To Turn To? - Families Come Up Trumps
Only 1 in 10 said they knew of an adult role model while they were at school who was identifiably gay, and, for the majority of them, this person was not seen to have been helpful in their 'coming to terms' with being gay.
One in 6 gay people was still not out to their families (more commonly the youngest and the oldest participants in the survey).
The large majority (75%), however, had found at least some family members to be supportive when they came out to them.
In addition, 9 in 10 gay people found their families currently to be either quite or very supportive, and 4 in 5 were in regular contact with their families.
How Many Gays Are There In The UK?
All sorts of (possibly spurious) figures have been bandied around about the estimated size of the gay population. The Thatcher Government said it was 3%, but most of us think it is substantially higher. Previous research conducted by Stormbreak has demonstrated that a 7% incidence level would not be far wrong in terms of an under-estimation of the size of the gay population. We're not suggesting that we have the final word on the matter, but the logic applied below is probably as good as any used to date.
An interesting survey finding was that 1 in 8 gay people knew of another gay person within their immediate family (and 1 in 5 knew of a gay person within their wider family). This means that in every 8 families there are 2 gay people.
Since the average UK family size is estimated to be 3.5 people (taking into account lone parent families), it follows that for every 28 people, 2 will be gay.
Grossed up in percentage terms, this indicates that 7% of the UK population is gay.
Since there are approximately 45.5 million adults in the UK, this suggests that roughly 3.2 million of them are gay. Gays are a huge minority!
Gay Sexual Behaviour and Sexual Health
Naughty Boys!
With regards to sexual activity, it would appear that boys will be boys! Moreover, age did not appear to be a particularly significant factor governing sexual behaviour.
Men Women
A strictly monogamous relationship 27% 59%
A mainly monogamous relationship 24% 24%
Multiple partners/encounters 31% 4%
One main non-monogamous partnership 12% 8%
Celibate 5% 5%
Occasional different partners 1% 1%
Causes For Concern - Some Gay Men Need To Get Real!
One in five had had a sexual health check within the past 3 months (the case for 23% of men and 18% of women), but a similar number had never had a sexual check up (more commonly women, 27%, than men 16%). Almost half of gay men and a third of gay women had had a sexual check up in the past year.
One in 10 gay participants in the survey knew their HIV status to be positive, all of whom were men. One in 4 were unsure of their HIV status.
Only 2/3s of gay men said they always practised safer sex, and 1 in 10 said they rarely or never practised safer sex. This is particularly worrying given that the definition of safer sex was extended to include unprotected sex within a strictly monogamous relationship. Only 63% of those who knew their HIV status to be positive said they always practised safer sex.
A fifth of gay men said they were very worried about becoming infected with HIV and a further two-fifths said this worried them to some extent. Alarmingly, of the 19 men who rarely or never practised safe sex, 15 of them claimed not to be worried about HIV infection.
Practically all gay men felt they were at least quite well informed about safer sex, and over two-thirds felt they were very well informed.
Whilst 1 in 3 gay men had had an HIV test within the past year, the same number had never had an HIV test. This is concerning in the light of recent advances in drug therapies which have proved more successful in preventing the development of AIDS the earlier the detection of the HIV virus. The average number of HIV tests ever undertaken was 3.The large majority, 88%, of those who had had HIV tests within the past 3 months were those who always or nearly always practised safer sex.
Pink Culture
The Myth Of The Gay Ghetto
Three in five gay people said they socialised in mixed gay and straight company, and only 4% said that all their social contacts were gay.
In addition, only the minority (40%) said they went to gay pubs and clubs once a week or more often, much more commonly gay men (50% of them) than women (at only 17%). The large majority (three-quarters of gay people) did not belong to any specifically gay social groups.
The Pink Press Is Read
The pink press was found to be widely read, with only 8% saying they never read a gay newspaper. The Pink Paper was read by 2/3s of the sample (similarly men and women). Boyz had a strong male following (read by 60% of gay men) and, quelle surprise, Diva had a similar readership level amongst women. The Gay Times and Attitude were read by about 1 in 3 gay survey participants, although their readers were much more commonly males (indeed, exclusively so in the case of Attitude).
Lesbians Take More Of A Political Stand
Over half attended Mardi Gras and about a third attended Summer Rites (similarly men and women). However, women were more likely to go on the Pride March than their male counterparts (41% of them versus only 30% of men).
Gay Consumer Behaviour
Posh Gays
Gay Life and Style Exhibition visitors were upmarketwith two-fifths falling into professional social classes AB a further one-third C1s (basically office workers).
Salary levels were much higher than the national average (of around £18k) at £30k per annum. Gay men earned more than their lesbian counterparts (averaging £31k compared with £26k per annum).
The amount of monthly disposable income was £663, but far higher for men, at £743, than for women at £493. Frequenters of the gay scene were found to be higher earners than non-scene gays, both males and females.
Average monthly amounts spent on consumables were as follows:
All Men Women
Alcohol £29 £34 £18
Food £132 £141 £112
Clothes £88 £95 £71
Toiletries £26 £28 £22
Cigarettes £23 £22 £24
Music/CDs £22 £24 £18
Books £18 £21 £11
Pubs/Clubs £81 £86 £69
Restaurants £94 £103 £76
Over 4 in 5 gay people had Internet access by some means, with 64% having access in the home, and 51% having access at work.
On average, gay survey participants were taking 1 holiday in the UK and 2 holidays abroad per year. In addition, an average of 3 short breaks were taken per year. The average cost of the last main holiday taken was £636.67.
UK Gays Like Spaniards
The most common destinations for the last holiday taken were:
Spain 16%
North America 14%
UK 10%
Other Europe 8%
Greece/Turkey 8%
Italy 7%
Africa 6%
France 5%
Canaries 4%
Australia/NewZealand 4%
Asia 4%
Caribbean 2%
Eastern Europe 1%
South America 1%
BA - Gay Britain's Favourite Airline
BA, with 35% of those casting a vote, and Virgin, with 29%, emerged as the only significant favourite airlines amongst the survey participants.
Over two thirds specified no particular favourite Travel Company, with Respect being the only named company receiving a mentionable percentage (5% of the participants, and, therefore, 16% of those naming any company at all).
Four in 5 gay people did not name any Bank or Financial Service Provider that they considered to be pro-gay. Massow came top, with 40% of all those answering this question, although this accounted for only 7% of all the survey participants.
Almost a third of gay people claimed not to read any mainstream National press on a regular basis. The Guardian emerged as the main paper read by 1 in 5 gay people (20%), followed by The Times (15%), The Daily Mail, The Evening Standard, and The Independent (all with a 10% gay readership).
Thumbs Up For The Guardian
The Guardian was considered to have the most positive gay stance by 34% of the survey participants, followed by The Independent (22%), then The Times and The Observer, both with 5%.
Thumbs Down For The Daily Mail
The Daily Mail was seen as having the most negative gay stance by 40% of people who answered the survey, followed by The Sun (35%), The Telegraph (12%), The Mirror (9%), and The Express (7%).
The Pink Pound Won't Go To Homophobic Companies
Three quarters of gay people said they avoided buying from companies with a reputation for being homophobic. Moreover, 4 in 5 gay people made a positive point of buying from companies that have a pro-gay stance.
Being Gay in the UK Today
Gay People Still Feel Quite Marginised
How much a part of UK society do gay people feel they are able to be? This was gauged by asking people to score their perceived level of integration on a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 was 'totally isolated' and 10 was 'totally integrated'. The mean average score was 6, which demonstrates that, whilst not completely marginalised, gay people do not feel able to play a full part in UK life.
British Attitudes Towards Gays Are Getting Better…
Some good news is that the overwhelming majority of gay people interviewed (96%) thought that public attitudes towards homosexuality in the UK had become more positive in the past five years.
In addition, 68% felt that British current attitudes towards homosexuality were 'quite' positive although only 4% considered attitudes to be 'very' positive.
More good news was that 61% of people interviewed believed that, generally, society is becoming more tolerant towards gay people.
Britain Still Has Some Catching Up To Do!
But the UK appears to be lagging behind its continental neighbours. Almost half saw the UK as being less positive than the rest of Europe in its attitudes towards homosexuality.
The Dutch Are Cool!
Countries voted as having the most positive attitudes towards gay people were:
Holland 48%
Denmark 8%
U.S.A 6%
UK 6%
Spain 4%
Australia 3%
Germany 3%
France 2%
Sweden 2%
Scandanavia 1%
New Zealand 1%
Belgium 1%
Abuse Is Still Rife
What levels of abuse do gay people have to contend with? To gauge this, people were asked to record any experiences of verbal and physical abuse on account of being gay in a variety of contexts. Some alarming results are shown below, demonstrating that most gay people have at some point suffered verbal abuse in public, and 1 in 6 have actually been beaten up, both at school and on the street.
Verbal abuse Physical abuse
At school 45% 18%
Within the family 28% 4%
In the workplace 38% 4%
In a public place 68% 12%
On the street 66% 16%
The Church Is The Worst Offender
People were also asked to record areas of life where they had experienced discrimination. Most common mentions were:
At church 21%
In hotels 19%
In pubs/clubs 19%
Applying for a mortgage 17%
At work 17%
Applying for insurance 17%
At school 16%
Within the family 10%
In other financial matters 10%
In other retail outlets 10%
Bombarded With Anti-gay Comments - Or Are All Gays Paranoid?
Nearly everybody (99% of survey participants) had at some point heard anti-gay comments being made in public, with 35% stating that this was a regular occurrence.
Everybody (100% of survey participants) had heard or seen anti-gay comments made in the media, with 42% stating this occurred frequently.
How Does Discrimination Affect Gay People?
Half of the people interviewed believed that the majority of gay people in this country stay in the closet because they are fearful of the consequences of being openly gay (a view more strongly held by lesbians).
Almost half also felt that gay people suffer from low self esteem as a result of discrimination against their sexuality.
Two in 5 gay people said they felt frequently compromised about disclosing their gay identity in the presence of straight people
Half of gay people also felt that the bombing of the Admiral Duncan pub was an indirect consequence of gay discrimination in society at large.
A substantial minority, 18% of survey participants, felt that their mental health had suffered on account of being gay.
A similar number (17%) felt that their career had been hampered because they were gay.
Gays and Politics
The Labour Government Is OK, But Could Do Better
The current Government was seen by 62% of gay people to have a positive stance towards homosexuality, although only 5% considered its stance to be very positive.
How did gay participants vote in the last general election and for which political party did they intend to vote for the next time around?
Last General Election Next General Election
Labour 46% 34%
Lib/Dems 12% 18%
Conservative 11% 11%
Green 2% 3%
No political party 18% 15%
Not stated 10% 13%
Not yet decided - 7%
How Safe Is The Labour Vote?
Whilst the Labour Party is still clearly in the lead with regards to voting intentions for the next general election, the Gay Swingometer is signalling a fair amount of Pink Vote dissatisfaction with the current government and the Lib/Dems gaining reasonable ground. Importantly, 83% of those who saw the current government as having a positive stance towards homosexuality intended to vote Labour in the next general election. Clearly, a positive stance towards homosexuality is a voting preference driver amongst the gay community. The Conservative Party would appear to have few gay friends, and now not even Ivan Massow!
Gays Love Ken (and Madonna and Kylie!)
Ken Livingstone emerged as the most pro-gay British politician (with 31% of votes cast), followed by Chris Smith (19%), Tony Blair (11%), Mo Mowlam (9%), Peter Tatchell (4%), Steven Twigg (4%) and Edwina Curry (3%). q When asked to nominate the most pro-gay public figures who were not themselves gay, Ken Livingstone came top again (with 29% of votes cast), followed by Madonna (15%), Kylie Minogue (11%) - that London Mardi Gras appearance obviously worked! - Mo Mowlam (10%), Tony Blair (9%), Edwina Curry (7%), Elizabeth Taylor (6%), Cherrie Blair (6%), Richard Branson (5%) and dear old Barbara Windsor (5%).
Boo to Baroness Young and Brian Souter
Politicians gay people love to hate were, you guessed it, Baroness Young (getting 30% of the votes cast for the most anti-gay politician), followed by William Hague (24%), Anne Widdecombe (21%) and Michael Portillo (8%) - who, by definition, no doubt also hates himself!
The most anti-gay public figures were nominated as Brian Souter (with 28% of all votes cast), Baroness Young again (17%) and the Pope (12%) - God Bless Him!
What Do Gay People Want Changed?
The overwhelming majority of gay people (95%) would like to see gay marriages recognised in law. Well over half, 56%, would also like to see The Church recognise gay marriage.
A similar number (93%) believed that Section 28 should be repealed.
Almost three quarters of gay people also felt that gays should have the same adoption rights as heterosexuals.
Sample Profile
A total of 283 exhibition visitors filled in a self-completion survey, of whom 2/3s were gay men and 1/3 were lesbians. Half were under and half were over the age of 35. Just over half lived with a partner, in an average household size of 2 people. Three in 5 owned their own homes. Two-thirds lived in London and a further 1 in 5 in other parts of the south-east. A reasonable ethnic mix was achieved, with 1 in 4 being non-white British. Almost half claimed not to ascribe to any religion, although 44% identified as Christian.
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| BipolarBear99 - JJJ4EVER333@aol.com - 21 | | Comments - I have always been bicurious my whole life. I just never acted on my curiousity until I was 19 when i met this girl who was bisexual herself. We became friends and one day she told me she had feelings for me. I was so happy because it was then i realized i too had feelings for her. One day we kissed and i really cherished that first kiss.
Then we got a little more romantically involved and it was at that point i was 100% sure i was bisexual and this wasn't a phase i was going through. So pretty soon I was able to accept what i was and I was and am still proud to be bisexual. The only thing that makes me angry is the narrow-minded people who will not accept gay or bisexual people.
Its there ignorance that causes people to do hate crimes on us when all we want to do is live our life just like everyone else. I was just told last night by my favorite grandma that she thinks im a sick person for being attracted to both sexes. We got into a fight and it really hurt when she said that. I need people who understand this ignorance placed on us because i would love to talk to them. Please email me. |
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| Jonah - johna_h3@yahoo.co.uk - 16 | | Comments - |
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| michele rea - magicwillow365@yahoo.com - 37 | | Comments - i am married to a FtM. we have been toghther for 11 years and have 4 children. we were togther first as a lesbian couple. i support my husband/partner 100%. i want to correspond with other tansgendered couples. i know we can't be the only couple out there like us. |
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| Maria Acevedo - acevedom@asme.org - 33 | | Comments - God gives me the courage to live life with the person I love, every day. I am truthful to myself. I know he accepts me as I am. I also accept myself. |
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| Questioning Sara - darion99@aol.com - 16 | | Comments - Hi, Im kinda new to te actual reality of eing a mtf trnsgender and i was wondering if someone could drop me a line with some advice or information. i have been searching alot but there doesn't feel like there is ever any new information. As helpful as some of the sits are monolauges can only go so far. Its really kinda depressin and has vraught tears to my eyes more than once. thanks. adam/sara |
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| Lynn - heart@loganrec.com - 50 | | Comments - Lesbian, Yes that's me Proud and alive Out within my life with no looking back! Being comfortable with one's self is the closest thing to being free that can be imagined. To be able to look within your soul and find peace allows you to experience everything life has to hold
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| Still Searching for my name, and place... - poofy24x7@aol.com - 18 | | Comments - I want to commend all of you for being so brave and together in your fight for equality and acceptance. It's been a hard road so far for myself. I've met my better half, and I never want to give it up.... she is my entire world--- and yet many choose to tell me that is not proper, just because she is female also. What a contradictory, and hypocritical world we survive in; as one can be judged for loving. It's difficult being home in this environment. The family tells me that it is unhealthy and unstable, but thier judgements, harsh words and disapproving glares prove more unhealthy to my heart and my love. What now? |
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| Michael Christian Valiant - valiantone1@netscape.net - 28 | | Comments - I am a intersex to male person who has successfully transitioned three years ago. My upcoming book in June 2003 called "My Valiant Journey: Transgender Metamorphosis from Intersex to Male" will help educate many people about transgender issues including intersexed conditions. |
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| Tim - timdavis@directcon.net - 53 | | Comments - I just wanted to assure any out there who are in the process of coming out or have been out and are in search of a long meaningful relationship ... that it really can happen ... though one doesn't seem to hear of it much outside of a circle of friends or family.
I came out when I was 19 ... in the late '60's ... a different time for sure. I came out to my parents at the same time and everything was ok ... though they certainly were having a harder time of it than me :-)
At just 21 I met a man at a local dance club (bar in those days). We fell in love and despite a few minor bumps in the first 10 years, have lived a monogomous, supportive and loving life together for 32 years now.
Though our bodies have certainly changed, we let each other know that we're still attractive to each other and definitely are not bored with our still active sexual relationship. As a young person, I just never pictured myself getting this far with the same man by my side...but I did...and I'm grateful for it. I'd love to see a character or two written into 'Queer as Folk' which expressed this facet of gay life...but I guess it wouldn't be as 'entertaining'.
The problem I have found ... in now being an 'older' gay man, is coming to terms with my own aging process ... when a good deal of emphasis has always been on physical beauty. I know I will get through it ... I have to , as will each of you ... but I find it a bit discouraging on how little actual support is out there for us. I know there are boards dealing with the aging process in the GLBT community, but the boards that I have found seem little used. When doing a search on "Older Gay Male Forums" ...the results that came up were, almost without exception, places to meet & hook up with other older guys.
Is anyone out there aware of any 'active' online forum that deals with the aging issues one faces as a gay person? Living in a rural area we don't have easy access to the groups we might have had in the San Francisco area. |
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| Chris Henderson - mcquilkan@hotmail.com - 21 | | Comments - Freedom to me, Freedom to all! |
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| Steven K. Embree - Pbluesmurf@aol.com - 46 | | Comments - I would love to meet someone who doesn't mind receiving or giving hugs.
My cellular phone # is (859)912-1179. I live in Erlanger, KY. |
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| Noelle - bobbienoelle@yahoo.com - 23 | | Comments - I am very lucky.....My girl and I are very happy and we are accepted by all of our family and friends. If you need to talk.....email me. Be True To Yourself!!!! |
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| A. Shelton - storymaker@mail.com - 29 | | Comments - Doubt sits firmly within me. |
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| Bianca aka: Jail bait...don't ask - sabrina10545@aol.com - 15 | | Comments - looking for other bisexual females 14-16 to chat with preferably in the midwest but not a must |
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| Mark Ager - mark_ager@yahoo.com - 38 | | Comments - Waking up each day is painfull. I am neither man nor woman. My mother raised me as a girl and my father raised me as a boy. He would beat me if I were a girl.She would beat me if I were a boy. I do not have any friends and little access to professional help. I do not go out unless I realy have to. I can't look even myself in the face. Age 12 I had 9 suicide attempts on my life. If anybody out there is going through anything the same. Feel free to contact me. |
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| Sage - AzSage67@hotmail.com - 35 | | Comments - Im a LESBIAN and PROUD!! im happily married to another womyn we had our Holy Union 1998 between us we have 4 kids..i love being gay!!!!..if you need support contact me...you can live a normal life being gay (we have) |
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| Crystal - Crissy8869@aol.com - 24 | | Comments - 24 Bi married female been holding this in since I was in my pre teens.
Its only getting harder and harder to hide.I just want understanding. |
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| TherapyForAll - FagStop@aol/com - 50 | | Comments - |
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| TherapyForAll - FagStop@aol/com - 50 | | Comments - --THE ONGOINGLY DISGUSTING WAYS OF THE GAYS--
IT IS ONE THING TO ENTERTAIN A LIFE STYLE, BUT QUITE ANOTHER TO IMPOSE IT ON THE INNOCENT AND UNWITTING (i.e., a sexual crime with appropriately prescribed punishments)
"Two hundred and fifty priests and other workers of the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Boston sexually abused more than 1,000 children over the past six decades under the cover of an 'institutionalized culture of acceptance of sexual abuse,' according to a report released by the Massachusetts attorney general's office."
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SUFFER THE CHILDREN
'Gay' culture in Catholic Church grows
Priest says scandal really about homosexuality, not pedophilia
--------------------------------------------------Posted: March 24, 2002
1:00 a.m. Eastern
By Toby Westerman
© 2002 WorldNetDaily.com
(Excerpts)
"The problem is not clerical pedophilia," Fiore told WND, "but homosexuality." The distinction is important, Fiore noted, because most victims of Catholic clergy abuse are adolescents.
"Strictly speaking," Fiore stated, "pedophilia is the sexual molestation of a pre-pubescent child of either sex," but the overriding problem is the abuse of older children from 12 to 18. "More than 90 percent of the cases," Fiore observed,
"involve the clerical molestation of teen-age young men."
In reporting clerical abuse, "the grand taboo in U.S. culture is to focus on homosexuality," Fiore stated.
--------------------------------------------------
Homosexuality - not a way of life, but of death; and injury both physical and psychological to those least capable of self-protection. What a source for Gay Pride!!
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| heather - ktwok@frontiernet.net - 30 | | Comments - My birth name is Kevin. I am a 30 yr old married with young kids. I was diagnosed with transgender identity disorder. I have bugan taking herbal hormonts for the past 3 weeks. My body is very responcive to the female hormones. I guess I am genitally made for them. I have an appointment on the 3rd of September to get the perscriptions for estrogen, progesterone and an anti androgen. in the last 3 weeks on herbals My breasts have doubbled in size my arms slendered and my hips have widened a good 2 inches. I have bagan my real life test and am dressed as a full time woman. I hope to have srs completed in 18 months. I live near shawano Wi and am very glad to have found out that there are good doctors that specialize with this right here in shawano, and the srs surgery can be completed in neenah wi about 50 miles away. How supprising. These people involved in my treatment have been very caring and supportive. My wife has been awsome She was not supprised by my diagnosis and treatment because she said she see it in me over the years. we have been married for 12 years. I have been unhappy the entire time with guilty feeling and just out of place feeling and always looking into the mirror and seeing a stranger. as soon as I was diagnosed and began dressing like a female i feel like a whole complete person. I now see my self as a female with a congental defect that needs correcting. I am extremely happy and feel happier then I have in my entire life. the Wife and I do plan on living togather as long as possible. I am more of a tom boy so its not a problem with the kids. I have some issues with my wifes family. They all have cast us out because of my medical problem ( there is no cure for transgender identity disorder) I feel sad and guilty but am very gratefull that my wife stands behind me. She said that i will make a beautifull woman and Wants us to forever stay best friends. Even with all the support I feel i am still have to hide. Help!
P.S. Is there anyone Going threw anything similar?
Love Heather9/21/01 |
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| Just want to be myself:Nick - essencew20@yahoo.com - | | Comments - My days have been cold,hard & perplexed. I don't know how I keep going but almost everyday I walk out the door with my head held up high trying to hold a smile. Why does life have to been so difficult? why can't I have the easy road where I can dress & act how I truely feel! My mom knows I'm...dont even want to write it..like womyn but she doesn't know & probably won't understand that I want a sex change. I really don't know how to tell her. Where to start? The truth is for a while I have been feeling like a man trapped in a womyn body. Some days I feel like an abnormal freak & just want to hide forever. Well one day though I just got so sick of pretending to be straight & dressing feminine so I let the into man become present to help bring a little relief.It is hard living a lye! Trying to be myself can be a challenge because mom trips sometime "saying I don't want your girlfriend in my house or if you two get married I won't be there cuz GOD said Adam & Eve!! Also some of the people I've told just laughed it off saying "man you just going through a phase". I say "a phase"! How when I don't want to date any man(rich or look like Morris Chestnut),don't want to marry one,don't want to birth any children(even though they are a blessing)& to just sum it all up within myself just don't see any hope with trying to act like a wife or mother one day. My desire & dream is to one day marry a reasonable conservative womyn that will birth us some smart healthy children. I love womyn & want to be with one for the rest of my life.Well hopfully I'll find my place & happiness in making my dream come reality! To me everyone is unique & beautiful so why can't others accept that? If you can give me some advice. |
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| sdfs - paul@web-hed.com - sd | | Comments - xdf |
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| holly - puhbear75@webtv.net - 28 | | Comments - i am new to this site and so happy that i found it. i am a very closeted bisexual woman looking for others like myself. im tired of keeping my sexuality a secret...i dont want to feel ashamed anymore. |
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| wendy - wendyhallen444@hotmail.com - 18 | | Comments - since i have been 15 i have known my sexuality, thought that i would never be accepted in my family and i was right i am not,since i was 6 i have been in the mental health system diagonsed with many and there still trying to figure out what DISORDER that i have, at the moment it is bipolar disorder not that i understand that and not that i believe , i feel like i am a rat being tested on with all these drugs but i am stable at the moment though i have a girlfriend who is really good to me and knows when i am heading for trouble and i am quite glad that i have that in my life but i am more confused now than i ever have some help |
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| mugu - mugu@maga.com - too old | | Comments - i don finish everywhere for the site so free am ooooooooooooooooooo |
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| niloofar_2002002 - www.niloofar_2002002@yahoo.com - 30 | | Comments - |
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| Riley Jacob - gentle_butch_4_u - 24 | | Comments - I am a 24 year old female to male. It is hard transitioning and really being accepted as male, because everyone still sees me as a "butch lesbian" I'm just looking for support or someone that understands. I don't want to be "Riley that used to be Lora" I just want to be Riley. Why is that so hard for people to understand? |
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| Heather - seasick_cinderella77@hotmail.com - 15 | | Comments - Hi. I am about to have the "Are you gay?" conversation with my bestfriend. See I have been wondering for two years about wether or not he is and now a friend of ours is trying to hook him up with other gay men. What can I say to my best friend to make him feel comfortable about telling me and what do I say after. I need help cause I have had a gay friend before but he came out and told me, I never had to ask. Please help if you can. Thank you. |
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| Angel - anangelcutie4ever@hotmail.com - 16 | | Comments - 'i kiss girls!!! any ways! LOVE YOURSELF, YOUR THE ONE WHO NEEDS TO BE HAPPY. YOU NEED TO PLEASE YOURSELF NOT OTHERS. FORGET WHAT THEY HAVE TO SAY ABOUT YOU... REMEMBER SOMEONE, EVEN IF THEY ARE FAR, DO LOVE YOU! i love you. :)'
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| kitti_9 - tummybird288 - 50 | | Comments - |
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| Richard Brodsky - richardbpc@aol.com - 52 | | Comments - NEWS from the 2004 World AIDS Marathon
It’s official – the 2004 World AIDS Marathon will be held on December 1, 2004, in Nairobi, Kenya — thanks largely to the support of Kip Keino.
Runners from all over the world are expected to participate; each runner is responsible for raising $5,000 from individuals and groups, family and friends. Selling the rights to broadcast the Marathon could raise additional revenue. Regardless of the amount raised, the proceeds will be divided as follows: 70% to AIDS charities in Kenya; 20% for AIDS research; and 10% as seed money for the 2005 Marathon.
How did this race come about? Because people were inspired by the story of Richard Brodsky. Here’s his story: Richard was a successful New York architect and marathon runner, happily married with 3 daughters. However, on one terrible day in 1997, he had to tell his wife Jodi that he was bisexual and contracted HIV from another man. Many women would have chosen to end their marriages right then and there, but Jodi chose to stay. Today, the Brodskys are still happily married, their family is intact, and Jodi has never tested positive for HIV.
Then, in 2002, Richard was diagnosed with brain cancer! Fortunately, the treatment was successful, and the cancer currently appears to be in remission.
After completing the 2003 New York City marathon, it occurred to Richard that he owed his life to the excellent medical treatment that we have here in the United States – and, of course, the love of Jodi – AND that there was no reason why people with AIDS around the world couldn’t enjoy the same quality of life that he did. Thus the 2004 World AIDS Marathon was born.
Richard’s book about his remarkable experience attracted a good deal of media interest, and that is why people within the United States, as well as in Angola, Canada, England, Finland, Germany, Holland, Nigeria, and, of course, Kenya, have joined forces to help stage this ambitious project.
Help Richard's dream come true by joining us, either by becoming a runner yourself, or by making a direct financial pledge. No less a figure than BARACK OBAMA wrote to Richard, saying "this is a worthy and noble cause... you can count on my support." Spread the word: the 2004 World AIDS Marathon is happening; please do your part to help Africans and Americans with AIDS.
* * *
For more information about the Marathon, contact us at www.WorldAIDSMarathon.com
For more information about Richard, contact Richard at richardbpc@aol.com
or visit www.trebloon.com
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| Michael Christian Valiant - valiantone1@netscape.net - 30 | | Comments - As a hetersexual intersexed transgender person, I am deeply disappointed with the mistreatment and heterophobia that I have endured by the GLBT community in Minneapolis, MN. Also, abandonment, heterophobia, and mistreatment by organizations such as PFLAG and The Trevor Project. I want people to be aware that not all GLBT organizations are accepting or even helpful for heterosexual transgender persons in need of support. We are all in this together regardless of our sexual orientation, chromosomes, or sex. It is a crying shame that someone like me who has contributed as a GLBT activist for five years has been treated this way.
I welcome those who have experienced the same as myself with email response. |
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| Megan - megan_walkins@msn.com - 16 | | Comments - jus looking for other people to talk too |
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| Brandon - Brannich519@yahoo.com - 18 | | Comments - basically all i want 2 say 2 tha people out there is be proud of who u are. because if ur not then noone else will be. don't let noone tell u that u are wrong and in sin cause that ain't nothin but bull hockey. no1 is perfect and just like my best friend told me aka my ex said only god can judge you. no1 but god has any heaven or hell 2 put u in. and also i don't like tha fact that people excuse the sinfulthings they do like smoking weed and sex b4 marriage but when it comes 2 homosexuality or lesbianism it's a sin or your going 2 hell. no1 know's where they are gonna go when they die so don't let any1 tell u the way u are living is not acceptable. iam a homo and iam proud!!!!! |
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| Brandon - Brannich519@yahoo.com - 18 | | Comments - basically all i want 2 say 2 tha people out there is be proud of who u are. because if ur not then noone else will be. don't let noone tell u that u are wrong and in sin cause that ain't nothin but horse S#*!. no1 is perfect and just like my best friend told me aka my ex said only god can judge you. no1 but god has any heaven or hell 2 put u in. and also i don't like tha fact that people excuse the sinfulthings they do like smoking weed and sex b4 marriage but when it comes 2 homosexuality or lesbianism it's a sin or your going 2 hell. no1 know's where they are gonna go when they die so don't let any1 tell u the way u are living is not acceptable. iam a homo and iam proud!!!!! |
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| Brandon - Brannich519@yahoo.com - 18 | | Comments - basically all i want 2 say 2 tha people out there is be proud of who u are. because if ur not then noone else will be. don't let noone tell u that u are wrong and in sin cause that ain't nothin but horse S#*!. no1 is perfect and just like my best friend told me aka my ex said only god can judge you. no1 on tha face of this earth has any heaven or hell 2 put u in. and also i don't like tha fact that people excuse the sinfulthings they do like smoking weed and sex b4 marriage but when it comes 2 homosexuality or lesbianism it's a sin or your going 2 hell. no1 know's where they are gonna go when they die so don't let any1 tell u the way u are living is not acceptable. iam a homo and iam proud!!!!! and also last tyme i checked it said in tha bible don't jugde or u will be judged this goes to every1 and not just 2 hetero's it applies to us gays also. but 2 every1 that is a homophobe u all are just ignorant and small-minded and u are sick in tha head not us. god loves us no matter what we do, god said he would never leave us nor forsaken us, and if god can do that some1 that we have never seen why can't our earthly relatives or our friends do that. people that we have seen. i just do not understand tha human race and probably i never will... |
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| Brandon - Brannich519@yahoo.com - 18 | | Comments - basically all i want 2 say 2 tha people out there is be proud of who u are. because if ur not then noone else will be. don't let noone tell u that u are wrong and in sin cause that ain't nothin but horse S#*!. no1 is perfect and just like my best friend told me aka(also known as) my ex-boyfriend said only god can judge you. no1 on tha face of this earth has any heaven or hell 2 put u in. and also i don't like tha fact that people excuse the sinfulthings they do like smoking weed and sex b4 marriage but when it comes 2 homosexuality or lesbianism it's a sin or your going 2 hell. no1 know's where they are gonna go when they die so don't let any1 tell u the way u are living is not acceptable. iam a homo and iam proud!!!!! and also last tyme i checked it said in tha bible don't jugde or u will be judged this goes to every1 and not just 2 hetero's it applies to us gays also. but 2 every1 that is a homophobe u all are just ignorant and small-minded and u are sick in tha head not us. god loves us no matter what we do, god said he would never leave us nor forsaken us, and if god can do that some1 that we have never seen why can't our earthly relatives or our friends do that. people that we have seen. i just do not understand tha human race and probably i never will... |
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| Brandon - Brannich519@yahoo.com - 18 | | Comments - basically all i want 2 say 2 tha people out there is be proud of who u are. because if ur not then noone else will be. don't let noone tell u that u are wrong and in sin cause that ain't nothin but horse S#*!. no1 is perfect and just like my best friend told me aka(also known as) my ex-boyfriend said only god can judge you. no1 on tha face of this earth has any heaven or hell 2 put u in. and also i don't like tha fact that people excuse the sinfulthings they do like smoking weed and sex b4 marriage but when it comes 2 homosexuality or lesbianism it's a sin or your going 2 hell. no1 know's where they are gonna go when they die so don't let any1 tell u the way u are living is not acceptable. iam a homo and iam proud!!!!! and also last tyme i checked it said in tha bible don't jugde or u will be judged this goes to every1 and not just 2 hetero's it applies to us gays also. but 2 every1 that is a homophobe is just ignorant and small-minded and u are sick in tha head not us. god loves us no matter what we do, god said he would never leave us nor forsaken us, and if god can do that some1 that we have never seen why can't our earthly relatives or our friends do that. people that we have seen. i just do not understand tha human race and probably i never will... |
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| PainfullySilent - ajsb@aol.com - 25 | | Comments - Come visit my new support forum. It includes anxiety, depression, eating disorders, self-injury, and GLBT issues. http://silentscars.spreebb.com
thanks
Painfully Silent |
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| gabriella - tinytiger_06@yahoo.com - 17 | | Comments - hey, i'm bisexual looking for friends and anything eles i live in tx. |
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| Drea - xbillabongx18@hotmail.com - 23 | | Comments - I just wanted to let everyone know that MTVU and the Point Foundation are offering a $10,000 scholarship to an active LGBT community member. Check out the website if you are interested: http://www.mtvu-q.mtvi.com/on_mtvu/activism/point_foundation_scholarship/ |
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| Sam - karasflowers@luukku.com - 17 | | Comments - Hi! I´m an androgyne from Finland and I´d love to find some nice people to chat with. |
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| - jonny1468@gmail.com - | | Comments - |
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| - jonny3@gmail.com - | | Comments - |
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| Tyndalwolf - tyndalwolf@sbcglobal.net - 56 | | Comments - Hello,
I am a bipolar II rapid cycler. I have been Isolating fo a few years. I am looking for friends who might be going through the same thing. Feel free to contact me. I belive that if friends that are going through the same things can understand eachother better then people who arn't. My family do notaccept the fact that I am bipolar. Sometimes it is hard but I have learned to live with it. |
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| Amy - starofmist-misc@yahoo.com - 44 | | Comments - Tomorrows another day, try again! |
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| Amy - starofmist-misc@yahoo.com - 44 | | Comments - Be unique, be wacky, just be! |
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| barry - crewetaxidriver@hotmail.co.uk - 55 | | Comments - |
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| Drew - turlough3@sbcglobal.net - 45 | | Comments - I am going through a difficult time. I identify as gay but I am very much in the closet. I only moved out of my parent's house about 2 years ago. I visit and they are very polite, far better than when I lived with them or so I thought. The truth of the matter is they had thrown out most of the clothes I had left behind without a word to me. I'm pretty certain that they discovered the Playgirls that I had had in there and probably threw those out. I can accept that I guess. What gets me is they are both depression era children and they've thrown most of my clothes out without telling me. These were perfectly good clothes that had fit. I guess I have to take advantage of the time they are out of town and squirrel away what's left of my belongings. In retrospect it's like there's an elephant in the room that no one speaks about. I'm not planning on coming out to them. They are the same people who never told me I was Jewish because a counselor had told them not to and then said they never told me because it had never come up when I asked as an adult. My mother for reasons unknown to me threw a fit when I wanted to celebrate the Jewish holidays. That's why I don't want to tell them anything besides I'm still dependent on them for things like car insurance, gas money, etc. I'm still in school trying to get what's left of my diabetic life sorted out. My genes are crappy but my parent's way of motivating was and is shame. They're in their 80's now and the likelihood of their changing is unlikely. I sit here in shock and wishing things were different. I had to write something here as it is 6:30 a.m. and I don't really have anyone to talk to. At this late date I'm trying to get my life in some sort of order. I've been a lifelong hoarder and the seeds of that are coming to fruitition. Now I have to take all of my things from my parent's & somehow sort all of that out in my extremely small living quarters. I do feel so free in my own place. However there are things I have to contend with like mice, and water damage & the fun never seems to end. Major road construction going on and gas is through the roof. I'm being gouged by the local utilities which adds to my sufferance. I'm out of my parent's place but the tapes still role on. My father would always say I'm perfectly worthless and a leach. My mother used to always drone on that the only way she'd escape living with me is when she's carried out in a pine box and then sink into a crying tirade. It's not surprising that I suffer from anxiety and depression. Just when I think I have a handle on things everything seems to blow up in my face. Over the years I've had a multitude of jobs that I've usually been fired from. As luck would have it most of these were customer service jobs and I was and am mistaken for a woman because of my voice. That would usually put me over the edge and I would tell coworkers and customers just what I thought of them. Usually they had just jumped on my last nerve and I would explode. Now it's next to impossible to get a job of any kind because of my work history thus thank god I'm on disability. If I could sue and get something for mental anguish I would be independently wealthy. There's no pleasing my parent's I could become President and they would say that I still don't own my house. They're on a fault finding mission and always come up with pay dirt. Usually they would elevate either my brother or someone who used to live down the street from me. Someone who I haven't seen in more than 20 years and they are tracking his life as if he's the second coming. I had moved away to a small college which had become a living hell for yours truly and when I finally transferred to a local school my mother cites an envelope that had been forwarded and quotes that someone had written "He's no longer here, thank god." She says this in a tone as if I had somehow failed. She knows nothing of the person who wrote that; as most of the people I had known were mean drunks and other substance abusers. Thank you for hearing me out and I hope you won't judge me too harshly? |
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| Gayle - popeyegirl74@hotmail.com - 33 | | Comments - I AM WUT I AM....I am a lesbian cutter. I struggle every day to be in control and learn new and healthy ways to live my life. Most days i feel as though i am running around in a black room slamming into walls...but for some reason i keep trying to find my own answers in life. |
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| Peg - peg.bartley@lycos.com - 40 | | Comments - |
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| Peg - peg.bartley@lycos.com - 40 | | Comments - |
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| flora - pmonkey_marie@yahoo.com - 16 | | Comments - to sarah and others like her be comfortable w/urself. don't listen
2 ignorant and small minded people.
it's ur life and if others have a problem w/that then they need 2
deal w/it. |
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| flora - pmonkey_marie@yahoo.com - 16 | | Comments - thnx 2 to those who acknowledge
myself and other teens dealing
w/issues u had gone thru. |
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| flora - pmonkey_marie@yahoo.com - 16 | | Comments - i am bored looking for some new friends 2 talk 2. |
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| Lindsey - rockon@evansville.net - 16 | | Comments - Hey,
I'm a gothic lesbian lookin 4 other lesbians or bisexual women to talk to.I need a GF,So if there is any1 in southern indiana...Ya don't have 2 b in indiana 2 b my gurl. Ya jus gotta luv me.If ya think ya'd like me E-mail me for god's sake!an ma real name iz Lindsey,Jus so ya know. |
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| Mea - writerflamia@yahoo.com - 44 | | Comments - Only recently have I truly gotten in touch with who I really am-a lesbian. I have gone through my whole life living straight and have two children,now teens who no longer live with me, and a long list of ex-boyfriends. No more. I really need to be who I really am, and finding this site is my first attempt at expressing the "real" me. This is really a big first step for me! It's a lonely world out there for me, because I'm very much in the closet, and am not ready to let any of my friends know. Right now I'm just looking to connect with someone, to share with and to find friendship with. |
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| lindsey - rockon@evansville.net - 16 | | Comments - http://www.lovegodsway.org/
This is a horrible website.It says God hates us!I think we should send emails cussing them out.All within this month(June).Anybody who wants to help out email me first.Here's their email address:lovegodsway.org@gmail.com |
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| Brandon - Brannich519@yahoo.com - 22 | | Comments - After coming out 2 my folks 6 yrs ago, i face tha same challenges as i did then, my mom has come 2 terms with who iam and doesnt treat me any different, my real dad disowned me, but through it all i have become stronger and more mature in who iam, i love being gay and i love men !!!, this is who iam and it won't ever change, i may even find some1 2 spend tha rest of my life with, but until then, iam proud of who iam and imma always continue 2 be me... |
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| Brandon - Brannich519@yahoo.com - 22 | | Comments - Why in tha hell are people worried about who iam screwing???, i feel like this, if u are not paying any bills 4 me, if u aint giving me a roof over my head, food 2 eat, clothes on my back, if u aint giving me money, i dont wanna hear shyt u gotta say about my lifestlye, and even if u are doingthose things 4 me i still dont wana hear it !!!, thats whats wrong with people 2day, they always worried about what tha next man is doing when they aint even got they own stuff 2gether !!!, if u kitchean isnt cleanm how can u even begin 2 try and clean mine??? everyone is entitled to their opinion, and 2 all tha homophobes out here, u all are the one thats sick in the mind and need some psychological help !!!, MIND YO OWN FUC**NG BUSINESS !!!, if we wanna screw tha same sex then thats our business, u seriously need 2 go find a hobby !!! iam gay and i love men !!!, GAY PRIDE TIL I DIE !!! |
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