Eating
Disorders
How to Help Your Child Stop Vomiting
by Kim Fowler, MSW, CISW
Program Director
Remuda Ranch Programs for Anorexia and Bulimia
Most parents are mystified when a child engages in
purposeful vomiting.
Therefore, trying to understand why is the first step in helping.
Asking the child directly about what is motivating the behavior will usually
garner the response: "I want to lose weight." Though your child may
genuinely believe this is the reason, it probably isn't. The reasons for
purging are many and rarely understood by the child.
Self-induced
vomiting is not merely about food and the desire to be thin, it is about
emotions and the child's need to express them. In fact, purging is typically an
unhealthy and maladaptive way to manifest emotion, often anger. It is
frequently motivated by conflict, chaos, or the child's perceived lack of
control over life circumstances. Therefore, when a parent receives the
"lose weight" answer, additional conversation is critical. Parents,
in a loving and supportive fashion, need to ask their child about what is going
on with school, friends, and most importantly, home. This may be a difficult
area to discuss, but extremely important. Frequently, purging behavior is
motivated by dysfunction within the home, usually involving one or both
parents. It could be something as benign as a workaholic parent or as extreme
as a parent who rages.
Helping a child during the early,
experimental stages of vomiting-before it becomes an addiction-offers the
greatest possibility for success. Though rare, the child may want help from one
or both parents. She may want to be distracted after mealtime when the desire
to purge is greatest. Taking a walk together or watching a favorite TV show may
provide the distraction she needs to get past this time of temptation. She
might also request that certain foods not be purchased and brought into the
home. These could be snack foods or sweets. Though no food is "bad,"
some foods can be triggering to individuals struggling with the desire to
purge.
If your child is not receptive to help, or denies the behavior altogether,
therapy is required. The child needs to be in counseling with a professional
who possesses extensive knowledge of eating disorders. Parents may also benefit
from counseling. To help their child, parents need to love, support,
communicate, and be willing to truthfully examine their own lives and
behaviors. In addition, a medical doctor and dietician might be consulted. The
former can explain the medical dangers of purging; the latter can teach the
child what healthy eating looks like. Both can also help the child to see that
self-induced vomiting, as a method to lose weight, won't work.
If bingeing is involved, parents
must be additionally observant about the types and amounts of food kept in the
home. It is suggested that parents pay extra attention to the money they have
in wallets and around the home. It is not unusual for children to steal money
from parents, or food from a store, in order to binge.
Unless requested by the child, parents should avoid following:
Locking up food, whether in cabinets or the refrigerator.
Monitoring the child while in the bathroom.
Forcing the child to be with them for a specified amount of time after
eating.
These actions may achieve the desired effect in the short-term, but not in
the long-term. If the child's desire to
binge is strong enough, s/he will find food; likewise, if the child wants
to purge, s/he will find a way. Doing any of the above will probably result in
anger and may exacerbate the problem.
If outpatient counseling isn't successful,
parents should consider inpatient
treatment for the eating disorder. By removing the child from the home
situation, preventing purging through careful monitoring, and offering
intensive therapies, inpatient treatment can get to the root of the behavior
and teach healthy alternatives to purging.
Professionals specializing in eating disorders, including binge eating,
can be located by contacting
Remuda Ranch Programs for Anorexia and Bulimia at
1-800-445-1900.
This article is part of a continuing series of monthly columns. To be
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Other column's include:
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