Understanding Eating Disorders

When bad things happen to good people

Sometimes eating disorders are linked to bad experiences you have suffered. When bad things happen to good people, you can end up feeling a lot of badness inside. This feeling of badness should reflect only on whatever unfortunate events have happened; but frequently you come to feel bad about yourself, as if you are bad. A young woman who has been sexually assaulted, for instance, may blame herself for it, perhaps see herself as the cause of what occurred, or even see herself as having deserved it. This kind of negative belief or feeling about yourself can cause all kinds of problems, especially problems that are characterized by neglect or mistreatment of yourself and your well-being. An eating disorder would fit with this picture and it commonly does.

What do you mean, "bad things"?

In the category of bad things that happen to people are such things as:

• Isolated traumatic experiences, like a car accident or a bad medical procedure

• A physical or sexual assault (including acquaintance rape)

• Being in a fire

• Anything out of the ordinary that is a shock to your being and to your sense of safety in the world.

Bad experiences that leave a mark on your psychological state may also include ongoing circumstances and situations that are less obviously dramatic, for instance, such things as:

• Being in a humiliating or abusive relationship

• Living through the illness, death or suicide of someone close

• Significant experiences of personal failure

• Painful outcomes in relationships

• Ongoing excessive stress or feelings of helplessness

• Growing up in a family where there was a great amount of punitive and harsh judgment

• Witnessing terrible things (such as the images of September 11, 2001)

When a bad thing happens to your body

When you have bad things happen to your body (such as injury, terrible illness, physical assault, sexual assault or molestation), you may show signs of your distress through your body. Sometimes you have physical symptoms caused by stress (e.g. headaches, irritable stomach, lowered resistance to colds/flu), and sometimes you take your distress out on your body (sleep deprivation, alcohol abuse, cutting). Eating disorders can be like this: starving, bingeing, vomiting, using laxatives and over-exercising all abuse your body. Many young women who have been sexually assaulted or abused (clearly violations to the body) are also bulimic. It is a kind of unconscious way to express and manifest pain without directly talking about it.

When you have no control

Almost by definition, the nature of a bad experience is that you have (or feel you have) no control or power to do anything about what is happening to you. A common theme in eating disorders is control:

• People with anorexia tend to strive for perfection and control

• Following an out-of-control binge, people with bulimia may attempt to regain control by purging

• People who compulsively overeat describe feeling uncontrollable urges to eat

Ironically, once you can talk about it, you may admit feeling you have lost control of your life, emotions, and body because of the eating disorder.

Food for coping

Using food and eating behaviors to cope is an attempt to feel better. But it doesn't really work in the end. To deal with painful experiences, you may try to manage your feelings by overeating, undereating or purging. These behaviors can and often do have the immediate effect of soothing, comforting, or numbing. Although these methods may be an effective short-term fix, they aren't effective in the long term and can have many negative consequences. The trick is to find alternative coping methods that help you feel better, but that don't interfere with your health and well-being. Often, people need help figuring out new ways to cope effectively.

Facing this

Remember it was the event that was bad; not you! Overcoming eating disorders associated with bad experiences involves:

• A willingness to seek help for your problems

• Seeking out a supportive professional relationship

• Gaining awareness of the link between one's eating patterns and the feelings and perceptions associated with bad experiences

• Learning new, healthy ways to cope effectively with emotional pain

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