The Intervention Continues:
How to Help Someone with Bulimia Nervosa

When we left Mary, she was sitting on a sofa in Lisa's living room, surrounded by friends and family members who cared enough about her to stage an intervention. By ten o'clock, everyone had spoken, and looked completely exhausted.

Yet there was one more very important subject to discuss - getting Mary help. Mary's parents and Dr. Gilbert, a friend of the family, sat down next to Mary, who was still sniffling. Julia reached for Mary's hand and held it tight.

"Mary," Dr. Gilbert began, "we've all been doing some research on how to get you the best help possible. There's a wonderful residential treatment center that specializes in women's issues, especially eating disorders."

"You mean a hospital?" Mary said, dabbing her eyes. "I don't need a hospital."

"Let Dr. Gilbert finish," Richard said firmly.

"It doesn't really look like a hospital, Mary. It's a beautiful old estate, and it sounds like a good place for you. There are psychiatrists, social workers, and nutritionists, all specially trained to help people with eating disorders, and it's all under one roof. They can help you overcome your fear of food by eating with you. After meals, they'll sit with you so you can talk about how you're feeling and help you get used to the sensation of having food in your stomach. In the morning, they'll help you realize that you wake up looking the same as when you went to sleep. Many of them had had bulimia themselves, so they know what it takes to recover from bulimia. They know how it feels."

"But they'll make me eat too much, more than I should. I'll get fat!" Mary said, her voice rising in panic.

"I understand that you're worried about that," Dr. Gilbert said, "but one of the things you'll relearn is that on a normal diet you can eat three meals a day without getting fat. When you eat until you're comfortable and stop, you don't have to purge. And if you do gain a pound or two, they'll help you work through it until you feel OK."

"What I like best about the idea," Julia said, "is that you'll be with other young women like yourself, so you won't have to feel so alone anymore. And Dad and I will visit you for family therapy sessions. We're all in this together."

Mary looked at her father. "Dad, this is going to cost you a fortune. I can't ask you to do this for me. I feel too guilty."

"We're doing it, Mary. Whatever we have to pay, we're paying. You're our daughter, and we're not letting anything happen to you. No way. We love you."

"That's right," Julia said. Mary couldn't remember the last time her parents had agreed about anything.

"But what about work?" Mary cried. "Everyone will know. It's so humiliating. Please give me a chance to do this on my own. I'll do therapy, twice a week if you want, even three times. Just let me try by myself."

Her parents looked skeptical, but Mary felt Dr. Gilbert's sympathetic eyes on her. Finally, Dr. Gilbert said, "OK, Mary, you're an adult, so we'll treat you as one. You deserve a chance to try it your way, at least for six months. I can give you the name of a psychiatrist who works with women with eating disorders. Let's start there."

And she handed Mary the name and number of Dr. Melody Fine.

Judith's comments

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