Being the Expert on Yourself: Listening To Myself

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Being the Expert on Yourself

by Mary Ellen Copeland, M.S., M.A.

continued

What Others Had To Say

In the years since then, I have reached out to many other sources for help and guidance. They include:

A nutritionist, who told me that I needed more B vitamins and some amino acids.
A minister, who felt my problems would be eased by more involvement in a religious community – that I was out-of-touch with God.
Various counselors, who told me I should try to heal my relationship with my husband, or that I should leave my husband, and tried to direct me in and out of other relationships.
A body worker, who told me that my healing was dependent on the thoroughness with which I could remember and share childhood trauma.
A family member, who told me that I should "pull myself up by the bootstraps."
A well-meaning friend, who said I should go home and bake pies for my family.
A benefits provider, who accused me of malingering and being non-compliant.

When I told a psychiatrist that I wanted to write a book, he told me that I was being "grandiose." Since then, I have written 10 books and had them published. The same psychiatrist told me I could never lead a workshop. Since then, I have led hundreds of workshops – attended by thousands of people – all over the world.

Listening to Myself

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The most important lesson that I learned from all of this is that in making decisions about me and about my life, I first must listen to myself. I must ask myself what I know and feel about myself. Then, if I want to, I can reach out to others for their ideas. As each of them shares an opinion or gives advice, I can weigh it carefully and see how it resonates with me; does it feel right to me or doesn't it? If it feels right, I can do or believe as they suggest. If it doesn't feel right, I don't need to think or act in that way.

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