My Experience With Depression

This was, by far, the most difficult page on this site for me to write. I did so, mostly because the whole thing would seem rather clinical and preachy, without it. I hope you will see how important this topic is for me. For those who are "sufferers," I want you to know that you are not alone. This page is proof.

About Me - The Basics

   I was born in 1964, in a rural town in New England. My family was seemingly normal, and believe me, no one expected me to wind up being depressed.

   I was the second of three children (middle-child syndrome? - could be, a disproportionate number of middle children become depressed sometime in their lives). Like my brother and sister, I was extremely intelligent. I would have done well in school, except that I was high-strung and difficult to deal with. My parents and others, such as teachers in school, didn't care to put up with my antics. Also, being quick to outbursts, I was a natural "teasing target" for other kids. Put this all together and you have a formula for horror. For many years, I was teased and even beaten up by the other kids in school, right under the noses of teachers and my parents, who didn't care to put a stop to it because I was difficult to deal with. (I will get back to this later.)

   Somehow I managed to get myself under control around the age of 15. I became more active in school and even got into theater and other activities, academic and otherwise. I started making good grades (intellectually speaking, schoolwork was way beneath me, even in high school. So once I got my act together, I breezed along). I won some academic awards for various science experiments and got an early admission to my state university's School of Engineering.

   College was, shall we say, an interesting experience. I found the work much tougher there and wasn't disciplined enough to keep going in engineering. I changed over to liberal arts and got a degree that way. About three weeks before graduation, my father died, which was a real blow at the time. During that same period, I started dating a girl who, two years later, I married.

   Right after college, I started working at a large savings and loan and remained there for well over 9 years (I lost my job due to a merger). By then, I had been working in the systems department for 5 years and as an experienced computer-support person, I wasn't worried about getting a new job. Three months later, I had a new job and it was, and still is, a great place to work.

   Just then, when everything was looking good for me, my entire world fell apart.

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