ECT: It Saved My Life

Sasha-30 years old. Married for one year. I have a BA in Drama. I am a second grade teacher and live in Atlanta.

Hi. I'm a 30 year old female and I am a recent survivor of depression and ECT. I still truly can't believe that this nightmare happened to me.

Everything was going great on my life. I had finally met the man of my dreams and we got married. We just bought a new house and I began a new job. I was so happy. I finally had everything I dreamed about.

All of a sudden, I began feeling very stressed out at work and slowly I became depressed. A doctor prescribed Paxil and I decided to try it. Everything just got worse from here. I feel like the Paxil just made it worse because I suddenly became so anxious that I had to take some time off from work. When I returned after a 4-week absence, I was so depressed and anxious that I could not function.

My supervisors noticed this. I was a teacher, and they constantly watched me. I was truly hanging on by a thread. I could not concentrate or focus on what I was doing. I started having suicidal thoughts and I just could not function anymore. My supersvisors asked me to leave. I loved teaching so much but I just could not function anymore.

I went on disability, ashamed and more depressed. I went to many thersapists and tried many medications, with no help. I was sure that my new husband was going to leave me. Who would want to deal with this in their first months of marriage? WE didn't even have time to enjoy being married. I was a zombie most of the time. I was truly not there.

Finally, I checked into a hospital for a week. I constantly thought about dying. I could'nt get it out of my head. My life was over. After a week at the hospital, I checked out but had no improvement. I was put on many different medications, but I just got worse and worse.

One morning, I put a knife to my chest and ran to tell my husband what I did. He took me to another hospital and this time I stayed for almost 2-months. I was put on suicide watch at first and then I was closely watched as I attended group therapy. Nothing was helping.

Finally, after about 10 more different medications, the doctors suggested ECT. At this point, it was all that was left. I could not even get through 5 minutes of the day without thinking about dying. WE did the ECT and I can truly say that it saved my life.

After the first treatment, I already felt a difference. I had a total of 6 treatments (March-April 2000) and I am back to the same person I used to be. I went back to work and I am functioning and performing great. I feel so good and blessed. I feel like I owe my life to ECT. It's been about 4 months since the treatments and I just pray that it doesn't come back. ECT was a miracle for me. It truly saved my life.

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