Life with bipolar disorder: An online diary Part 3

11.22.98

Wow, I'm being "chatty" this week. Actually, I just want to vent a little bit. Still trying to get a job. Not doing very well with it. The biggest problem is the lack of a driver's license. Now, why would a 22+ person not have a driver's license? Well, I started studying once, but a Depression kind of got in the way. I couldn't drive with all the meds. I was trying and I guess I gave up. I also thought myself unfit to drive because I wasn't responsible enough. Put me behind a wheel and I'll probably kill someone. As I reflect on it, I think that I was "just a bit" too hard on myself. But after I was diagnosed as bipolar, I figured I'll go nuts in about...hammm a week? So driving wasn't really on my mind. And here I am, still sane (as sane as I can be - and "I" is the operative word here) and I'm stuck--no license-no job. Ain't life just grand ?!?

I went to the psychiatric clinic today to find out if I can have a license. They weren't clear. They told me to lie on the application; or, in their words: "we won't tell if you don't". Nice huh?

I know going to the clinic in the first place when I was depressed was the right thing to do, but as time goes by, I wish I hadn't. I wish I didn't have to worry about my psych medical files dragging behind me. Ain't much I can do about it now. Nothing at all actually...but I still wish !

Our life is what our thoughts make of it.
~ Marcus Aurelius ~

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