Depression and Spiritual Growth

Dimitri Mihalas (1999)

I. Introduction

This pamphlet is an outgrowth of "interest groups" on depression and bipolar disorder ("manic-depression") led by me and my then wife, Barbara, at the Inter Mountain Yearly Meeting of the Religious Society of Friends (Quakers) in Durango, Colorado in 1990 and 1991. In these groups, we talked about not only the medical treatment of these illnesses, but also their interaction with one's spiritual life in the setting of Quakerism. I have written down some of the material we discussed in the hope that it might reach a wider audience. Unfortunately, many extremely important, and often quite moving, exchanges occurred only in passing, and were not recorded; they are lost. But I hope that the material presented here will encourage other individuals and groups to explore the many dimensions of these complex illnesses.

By any measure, the misery of deep depression is one of the most devastating experiences known. Untreated, it can destroy a life, or even lead directly to death (through suicide). At the same time, thanks to remarkable progress in medical science, there now exist a large number of medications which are very effective in the treatment of major depression; some references addressing the physical/medical aspects of treatment are given in the Bibliography at the end of this pamphlet. Because I have written about these topics elsewhere, I shall not say much about them here other than to note that the success rate in treating depression and bipolar disorder medically is quite high once adequate treatment is started.

The main purpose of this essay is to discuss how a struggle with major depression can lead, seemingly paradoxically, to significant spiritual growth by the victim of the illness. This transition has many facets. We will touch on psychotherapy, suicide, a spiritual model for healing and wellness, the role of mystical experience, and the role of the Meeting.

At first sight, it may seem odd to couple such a grim experience as major depression to spiritual growth; yet the fact is that as one emerges from the misery of deep depression it can act as an incentive and a catalyst for the development of greater spiritual depth. In 1986, I passed through a year of major depression; it was easily the worst experience of my life. Yet, starting in 1987, I have reaped incalculable benefits from it. The crisis I went through changed my view of the world radically, and I am much better for that change. My life now opens out on peaceful paths and breathtaking vistas I never before knew existed.

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