My Story
Hello, everyone. My name is Margaret-Anne. I've been living with an
anxiety disorder for the past 22 of my 26 years. Until recently, I hosted a site detailing
my history with anxiety-panic. I've been asked by HealthyPlace.com to join them and share
with all of you, my life experiences. You are not alone!
Although it may seem odd to the masses, some of my first childhood
memories are riddled with anxiety. At age 4, my family decided that we needed to move.
Mom, Dad, Grandma, seven kids, and the family dog in a 3-bedroom house, just wasn't
cutting it anymore. I distinctly remember being at Nathan's, in the cab of the rental
truck with my father and oldest brother and suddenly feeling overwhelmed, terrified,
nauseous, and lightheaded for seemingly no reason. Once we reached our new home, the
feelings subsided almost as quickly as they came.
Years of avoidance followed this episode and it became increasingly
difficult for me to function in society. Going to restaurants, shopping, or participating
in any event or activity where a crowd would gather became unbearable.
Through the years, I was labeled a "problem child",
"antisocial", and "troubled teen" by the school administration. On the
surface, their accusations seemed valid. However, my unconventional behavior (i.e.,
truancy, lateness, confrontations) can all be attributed to my underlying anxiety.
Finally, at fifteen, I had a name for the evil stranger that crept through
the dark recesses of my brain, that spurred on my erratic behavior and feelings of
discomfort. I was diagnosed with Agoraphobia with panic attacks, an anxiety disorder.
Unfortunately, it coincided with a request by the administration for me to leave school
and not come back.
I worked with several therapists during this time while earning my high
school diploma through home tutoring. At sixteen, for nearly three months, I suffered what
to my knowledge is the text book agoraphobic problem - I was unable to leave my home. The
behavioral therapists I worked with at the time were able to get me back out and
functional again.
Thinking that I was "cured," I stopped seeking treatment and
lived well until I was nineteen. The unexpected death of my oldest brother, followed by
the devastating break up from my fiancé who had been with me through all of this, left me
in a tailspin. Having neglected therapy in years prior left me ill-equipped to handle such
life stresses, leaving me homebound once again.
The years following included behavioral therapy combined with drug and
herbal therapy and I've had great successes and minor setbacks. To this day, I utilize the
coping skills I learned with herbal supplements. I am pleased to say that I have come off
all prescription medication.
If you have any questions, comments, or stories of your own to share, feel
free to contact me at anytime. And please
remember, you are not alone!
--Margaret-Anne
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