Caregiver Letters & Stories
continued
Hi Ken, I have been online (and offline) for a few years now and never knew about your
website. I think this is fantastic!
My husband suffers from "Chronic Panic Disorder with Agoraphobia." He was
termed disabled 6 yrs. ago but has suffered must of his 31-year old life. We have been
married almost 10 yrs. and most of our life together was haunted by panic. It is a very
hard thing to watch your spouse go through.
We lived in a very small town and no one knew what panic was. 8 yrs. ago was when it
was the worse.11 doctors and a year of testing etc. and him becoming housebound until they
finally diagnosed him. Then a year of fighting with agencies to get him some financial
support. We still have not found a doctor who could help him, so we have done it
ourselves!!!
Success story, here we are! 8-years ago Tom was housebound...actually stuck in 2 rooms
(the bathroom and the living room). I was his "safe" person and was stuck w/
him. When I cooked or went into our children's room, he would stand at the door and watch
me, very anxious. When I took a shower, he was in the bathroom w/ me. I never left the
small 4 room apt for about 6 mos. My family and friends had to do our shopping, our
errands, even take our newborn and 2 yr old to the doctor. We could not afford to have a
phone. We sold everything but our children's beds and clothes to keep food in their
mouths. It was rough time!!!!
Slowly, after those 6 mos., I got Tom to take a step outside the door. The next day 2
steps and so on. It was a very slow process, but over a long period of time, I got him
back to a doctor and on his way to recovery. I did so much research because all the docs
did not have a clue and he could not travel outside our town. We forced the docs to keep
trying new meds while Tom and I worked on behavior modification. Tom would only do so much
though before the fear took over.
Well to make a long story short, one day, in fact the 4th of July 1999 (HIS DAY OF
INDEPENDENCE!!), he decided that his family and his life was worth more than the panic and
he did it--he drove to Buffalo, NY which was a hour away from home. He had tried and tried
in the past, but could never make it even half-way. The next day we did it again and then
2 days later we drove 750 miles to my parents in TN!!!! He was finally free! We laughed
and cried and went through lots of panic and anxiety but we did it. We have made several
trips back and forth. In fact, the end of July, we moved to TN!!
And now after 8 yrs., Tom is working a full time job, a half-hour away from our new
home and away from me!! He has learned how to accept panic as part of his life and how to
cope w/ it. We have found each other and ourselves again. And yes, I still cry everyday
but out of joy instead of frustration now!!!
Please share this w/ panic sufferers and their families to give them hope. There is
life w/ panic! And if anyone needs some support, please send them my way. Thanks for
listening!
Love and Prayers. DTILRY@aol.com
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