Stories
Panic
Anxiety Education
Management Services

We have been on the internet for less than a year now. Initially,
we questioned whether "another" panic and anxiety site
would be needed. There are so many wonderful sites in this area
already on the Internet. We did decide that one more resource would
be beneficial. Variety is the spice of life ... right? Since we
first set up on the Internet we have seen an untold number of people
move onto recovery. This in itself was worth putting the site on the
Internet.
One of the people who moved onto recovery that we have
corresponded with gave us their permission to publish the series of
emails we exchanged. We have kept this person's identity
confidential.
To all the people we have made friendships with, to all the
people who have recovered, we are proud to call you friend.
CORRESPONDENCE WITH
"L"
Dear Paems:
I have lost my life. I once was full of action. Now I am stuck in
my home not being able to go to the shops on my own. I put myself in
a mental health wing of a hospital. I had to fight to get in. Once
in, I didn't seem to belong there. The others had the real problems.
So if I don't belong there, where do I belong? I cannot hide
anymore. Please help me! I am 38 y.o. with an 11-year-old boy and I
am scared and I don't know what of. I don't know how to fight this
cruel thing inside of me. It has made me cry for ten-years and I
want to be me again. I cannot do this alone anymore. My son is
missing out on the real me. Can you help me? I just cannot stay like
this anymore ... L
Paems Response: We spoke briefly on
the telephone today, but you didn't say exactly which Anxiety
Disorder you have. Have you been given a full assesement? Were you
told which Anxiety Disorder you have?
L, you can recover from an Anxiety
Disorder, but you do need to know which one you have so you can
receive the right type of treatment. Some people can have a
combination of the disorders, so treatment is tailored to the
individual person. Medication can be helpful in the short-term,
especially if you are in a crisis situation; but for long-term
results, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is the therapy which has been
proven to be the most beneficial for the panic and anxiety
disorders.
Did you ring the Anxiety Disorders Clinic?
Were they were able to refer you to a therapist in your area? Don't
forget, some Community Mental Health Services also have
psychologists on staff and you may be able to get assistance from
your local Service as well.
Have you read everything on our site. There
is quite a bit of info on the site which can assist you. In
addition, the book 'Power over Panic' will help you 'Take the Power
back'.
You aren't alone, nor do you have to try
and recover unaided. Don't hesitate to contact us if you have any
questions. You can get your life back.
Kind Regards,
PAEMS
Followup from "L": Thanks for your time. I am
going to get my life back. I have spoken to my community health
centre and have an appointment set. I am looking forward to your
book arriving. My disorder started 10 years ago, I guess from 28
years of abuse from people that were close to me and I went into
same-time panics at 4 a.m. every morning. From that, it went to
depression and from that it progressed to this damn agorophobic
feeling I get when I go out sometimes. I am sure I will get thru it
with help. It makes me so mad to think how strong and independant I
was to what I am now. I will try to convert that negative feeling
into a more positive feeling to help myself get over it. I
appreciate your time in this and I will let you know how things go
if you want. Thanks again . L
Paems response:
The book is on its way. It is great you
have an appointment.
One thing L, you are strong. Everyone with
an Anxiety Disorder is. It takes great strength just to get through
each day, especially if people are not receiving appropriate
treatment. Add to that an abuse background and we are talking
super-strength. You need to recognise this L, because once you get
the book and/or see the therapist, you can use this strength in the
way we all do to recover.
The only reason why you haven't recovered
is because you haven't been shown the right way. It has nothing to
do with you not being strong.
Let us know how you get on.
Thank you,
PAEMS
Letter from "L": Have read your book and it has
helped me a lot. I will read it again, this week.
I had my first session at the Community Health Centre and I am so
much better all ready. The session and the book has given me new
hope. I felt almost free when I was driving home. In fact, I felt I
could drive for miles on my own. That's a real change from my
secondary Agorophobic condition.
I am finding it maybe a little too easy, so I am treading a
little cautiously, just in case I put to much confidence into it and
then feel bad if I have an attack. I am expecting it to take a
little time and patience. I must admit, at this point I feel
wonderful. I am finding the hardest part is the meditation...just
getting the time to do it. When I do it, I even find that easy. If
this is as easy as it is, then I should be drawn and quartered for
allowing this monster within to have had so much of my life.
Again, thanks. I will keep in touch so you can pass on anything I
say that may help your work. When things settle down and I am sure
of everything on this end, if you wish, I would like to help others
who may need it. Talk to you soon. I am planning a trip to the coast
as my first big trip out in years and I look forward to the
challenge. Bye... L
Paems Response: Wonderful L. It is really
great. Hope you have a great time on the coast.
It is easy, in fact it is all so simple
but...it is breaking through our previous belief systems and this is
the hard part. You are right to give it time and to be patient.
There will be ups and downs, but this is normal. The downs are only
the old belief systems. They don't want to give up, so they try and
hook you back in. See them for what they are. If you do have an
attack, or feel anxious, don't beat yourself up. It will only make
it worse. You will feel angry, but turn it against the anxiety
thoughts. Use your anger against the disorder. Let it happen and
turn those thoughts into so-what!!!!
It isn't your fault you have had it for so
long. This happens to so many people. If you don't get the right
info, treatment, etc., you can't do it. If you could, you wouldn't
have had it in the first place!
Re: meditation and time- We always say to
people how much time does your Disorder take? !!!!
Yes, please do stay in touch. There are
many people who contact us, so there are a lot of people who do need
help.
Kind Regards
PAEMS
Dear Paems,
No, I have no problems and I still haven't had an attack. All is
going well. I am almost human again. Its been toooo easy. Thanks for
your concern.
Since reading your book, I see in others there trouble sometimes.
In fact, my own brother, I discovered just yesterday, is suffering
badly. I have never spoken with him on much at all, but I was in a
position yesterday to help him and I suggested he get your book.
Until then I never knew he suffered from anything. I pulled back a
little from getting too involved at the moment because I still have
a little ways to go with myself, but it felt good that I understood
him and that made him feel better I think.
You have been a Godsend that is for sure and I appreciate you
guys more than you know. It is so nice to feel FREE. I have been
fishing and all sorts of things. My son has recognized my
improvement and appears happier. I felt a little down the other day
and just shrugged it off as "You can't be perfect
everyday" and just accepted it was a bad day and got on with
the job. I just need a holiday and I can't wait to tease the monster
inside with my old self and get to the coast. Thanks for inquiring
about me, again. I'll speak with you soon. Regards L
PAEMS REPLY NOT AVAILABLE
Dear Paems,
Still going well. I have not had a turn in a time now. I feel so
free and alive again. I even went out without my usual adult support
and only had the slightest of thoughts of the beast with in. I am so
proud of myself and happy that I made contact with you, guys.
I had another meeting at the Community Health Center and I am so
cocky that I felt I didn't need to go. I had to remind myself that
if I didn't go, I would be then suffering from stupidity as well as
a anxiety/ panic disorder. I still cannot believe how easy it has
been for me. This is even without doing as much meditation as I
should. I have been sort of waiting to contact you with a
"Glitch" but I just get stronger-and-stronger each day. I
swear its almost "Miraculous." I'll keep in touch and keep
you informed of my progress if your interested. If you feel I have
something to offer others, let me know and I will do what I can. See
you soon ... L
PAEMS REPLY NOT AVAILABLE
AFTER A MONTH OR SO:
Dear Paems,
I don't know if you remember me. My name is L. I suffered panic,
anxiety and agoraphobic episodes. I mailed you sometime ago for
help. You sent me Power over Panic. I have from time-to-time
let you know of my improvements and the success I was having. Well,
I have been able to travel all over my local areas with a friend for
sometime now but the challenge came the other day when I had to go
to a party for an old friend who lives down the coast.
I did it! I did it! I did it with out as much as a flinch. I even
stayed in a Motel over night down there. Plus when it was time to go
home, I didn't go. I kidnapped my friend and her kids and my son and
booked into a resort you need to go to, by car ferry and you have no
way of getting off this place until the next morning and I didn't
crack a sweat. I felt so FREE I could have cried. How could I have
been so stupid to let this monster rule me for so long. I am getting
back to the way I was when I would do things spontaneously and do
things just for fun. Now, this means that I am one step closer to
being FREE'ER because now my problem does not impose itself on
others as it did because with them I can do things with out worry.
The next step will be to do things on my own. Like going to town for
a look or something. But hey, I am so happy that I can do anything
at all even if I never get to do things on my own I am miles in
front to where I was. However, I will get to this stage and I will
be happier for it. I said to you guys before that it all seemed too
easy and I was cautious but it has been easy and I will help others
if they need it. I am going to the Community Center the next time
they have a meeting and see if I can help in some way. Man, it is
great to feel almost a normal strong guy again. I am still planning
my Coast Holiday but with out any thoughts of fear. Now, it is
Excitement. I'll let you know how I go. see you soon.
Kind Regards and Much Thanks, L.
PS I am not manic or anything I am aware of hick ups etc. I am just
so light from knowing that I did it and did it convincingly. I
played the game and I am winning, no better than that I am beating
the Monster.
Hi L
Yes we remember you. This is so wonderful. Congratulations a
thousand times over!! Reading your email bought tears into our eyes.
To read and feel your joy was great. Thank you for letting us know.
This is what this is all about for us, seeing people 'beat the
monster'.
Your email was so inspiring. Can we use
your email on our website? We will take out any references to where
you live and we won't use your name.
Stay in touch L and let us know your
journey from time to time.
Kind Regards
PAEMS
Dear Paems,
You won't believe what just happened. My friend who has been so
supportive over the years, rang me and told me the school had rang
her and said. "Your son is vomiting. Could you come and get
him"? My friend said, she didn't know what to do. She had no
one to pick him up and she was at a contract miles away. Guess what
I said to her ? WHAT ABOUT ME ! She said nothing at first and then
said. "What you go and get him" ? What a great feeling to
say. "Yeah, sure why not." L
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