Panic Anxiety Education
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What is so great about Cognitive Behaviour Therapy? (page 5 of 5)

SECOND EMAIL

Lorrie: I emailed you a few months ago. You probably don't remember me, I'm sure, but I wanted to tell you that the email you sent has helped me tremendously.

Bronwyn's response: I do remember your email because I remember being shocked by what the support group leader told you. They probably didn't realise how disempowering that statement could be. I was also impressed how you refused to settle for 'second best.'

Lorrie: As I said before I do not consistently deal with panic except when I travel or feel trapped. I have been using your advise from the email and your book and it has helped me make decisions to do things I wouldn't before. Half of me is excited because I know this is the key I've been missing, that I try to say "so what" but never 100%, the other half is scared to death because I know I have to start travelling and being in trapped situations to practice.

Bronwyn's response: It is ok about feeling scared. This is what we are supposed to feel when we take on new things. Simply let yourself be scared. You can say to yourself, 'It's ok. Feeling scared is natural. So What!' Just let yourself feel scared and don't buy into the associated thoughts...'What if, etc'.

Also, have a look at the what you have written....'have to start travelling;.....'being in trapped situations to practice.' 'Have to' is a big 'trap' word 'Being trapped' is a follow through from 'have to ' This is very subtle, because these words can trigger the fight and flight response. You don't 'have to' and you are not 'trapped.' You are making a conscious choice to do this because you want to recover. You are making the choice to go out and confront your fear. You could choose not to because you don't 'have to! ' What we don't realise is we are never 'have to/should/must' etc we always have a choice. We also don't realise we are not 'trapped' by external situations. We are trapped only by our thoughts.

Lorri: SOOOOOO! I have planned a trip to visit my best friend in Missouri. She has always had to come here and I've always been so frustrated because I really want to go there. A friend wanted to go too, so instead of making excuses, I booked an airline ticket and am on my way next Friday.

Bronwyn's response: Fantastic!

Lorrie: I'm obviously nervous (not panicky yet) and looking for some reinforcement!!! Question: I have worked very hard in the past at learning to accept my panic attacks, but when they happen I don't do it. I still start trying to make it go away instead of going with it and accepting it. How do I learn to give in that last 1%? I think I am, but I know I must not be or else it would cease to matter, which it obviously still does to me.

Bronwyn's response: It is just practice, practice and practice and then more practice!!! Trying to make it go away is our conditioned response to it. Going with it, letting it happen does take practice because we need to break through the conditioning. When you first start you will probably only be able to 'let it happen,' say once out of every three or four attacks. The more you practice, you will find you reach the point where you are able to let it happen every single time. The more you can let it happen, the more you build confidence and trust in you and in your ability to be able to do this.

Lorrie: My biggest fear on this trip is when they close that door to the plane and I know I can't get off. Then I have a layover and am scared I won't want to get back on the next plane. Sounds so silly, but I know you understand.

Bronwyn's response: I do! Even before I had panic disorder/agoraphobia, I was terrified of flying, which was really great because I was a National Credit Manager and had to fly interstate as part of my job. Really professional as I would stagger off and onto planes!! The shutting of the door on the plane would have me trying to curl up underneath my seat. After I recovered from PD/A, I went back into a National Credit Management position, knowing I would again have to travel.

I made a conscious choice in taking the position. I knew I hated flying, I knew I could get another job without travel, I knew I was going to be terrified, but I made the choice, like you have now done by booking your flight. So the first time I had to fly interstate again, I went to the airport and bought my panic/anxiety skills with me. I let myself be terrified. I just didn't buy into it. I simply said to myself, 'I'm scared, so what! ' I made myself watch as they shut the door and I again felt like curling up under the seat, and I let myself feel like that. I remember saying to myself, 'OK, you made the choice, you know you would feel trapped but you have a choice. You can feel trapped and scared for the whole flight or you can simply accept you are on the plane, you can't get out until it lands and that's it.' And I did. I just accepted it and didn't buy into my thoughts and.... I fell in love with flying! I simply controlled my thoughts, let the anxiety and panic simply be there and by the time we landed I didn't want to get off. I just wanted to keep on flying. I still love it and I'll help them shut the door if they want! As I said, 'being trapped' is only a state of mind!

When you have the stop over between flights and if you are feeling anxious/panicky, 'so what'. Get back on the plane. Just think of the great opportunity you have to practice!!!! Because this is what it is, nothing more. A wonderful opportunity to learn how to control it!

Lorrie: So, when I first feel a rush of panic, and I know I probably will, how do I go with that and not make it worse. The hardest symptom of the panic for me to deal with ever is this OVERWHELMING feeling of needing to run, or escape. I'm better at dealing with the physical feelings than ever before, but that intense escape feeling scares me. Any suggestions to help me this coming weekend?

Bronwyn's response: The overwhelming feeling of needing to run is only the fight-and-flight response. The fight-and-flight response 'empowers' us to either run away from a dangerous situation or to stay and fight it. That is why you have the feeling of needing to run. See it for what it is. The fight-and-flight response is being triggered by your 'danger' thoughts. This is what is supposed to happen if you feel you are in danger. But you are only in 'danger' from your thinking! When you feel the first rush, what about turning it around, 'Oh you again', instead of thinking 'let me out of here! '

I have been caught a couple of times since I have recovered with my attacks. It starts and I don't recognise it for what it is. I remember one time I had been rushing all day, I hadn't had time to eat and I was feeling lightheaded and shaky because I had not eaten. I was stuck in the traffic jam from hell and I could see it was going to take me at least 15-minutes to clear the bottleneck. I was going to be late for a meeting and I remember thinking, 'I am going to be late blah blah blah, and up came the rush. I didn't know what was wrong with me. I thought I was dying. I wanted to get out of the car and run and get help. Then I realised it was simply a panic attack...'So What' and I let it happen and it took about 60-seconds before it settled down. I was late for the meeting because of the traffic jam...'so what'..there was nothing I could do about it.

Lorrie: I have decided that I'm not going to limit my life as much any more in the ways of travel. I really want to go places, so this is a big step for me. I feel so close!

Bronwyn's response: You are close, and yes, it is a big step, but it is the step to freedom!!!!!

Lorrie: SO WHAT is my new motto in life. I find it works great just for relieving all sorts of pressures I put on myself. I find myself relaxing about a lot of other things just by saying "so what?" But now I want to make it work for the panic attacks.

Bronwyn's response: It will. You have the determination and the motivation. Don't get discouraged if it doesn't work 100% at this stage. Learn to be kind and patient with yourself. Also, I think you are ready to begin using the 'anger' technique. It is at the end of the 'Working with your thoughts' chapter. Although the fight-and-flight response is part anger, you cannot be angry and anxious at the same time. Anger is active...anxiety/panic is passive. Get angry at your thoughts/anxiety/panic. Not at yourself, but at the 'what ifs', the rush, the symptoms, etc. How dare they do this to you! Tell them where to go and do it with POWER! Watch how they disappear! In fact, they disappear so fast it may scare you!!! 'Where did they go?' Get angry at that too.

Have a wonderful time. Let me know how you go.

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