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What is so great about Cognitive Behaviour Therapy? (page 4 of 9)

LORRIE

CBT was the choice Lorrie made and this is how Lorrie worked with CBT:

We have written Lorri's first email in full without any comments from Bronwyn. This will introduce everyone to Lorri and the difficulties she was experiencing. We then have rewritten this email and inserted Bronwyn's comments to her. The article continues in this format through Lorrie's emails and her journal with Bronwyn's comments inserted at various points.

Lorri first emailed us a few months ago. She had come a long way in her recovery but was still unable to travel. She had spoken to her support group leader about this and... well we will leave it to Lorri to tell in her own words:

Lorrie: The support group leaders say I'm farther along than any of them and should be content! I know you can recover from this completely. If others have, and I know they have, I CAN TOO!!! I truly believe I can completely overcome this, but I feel I'm missing some link.

I know the way out is when you come to not be afraid any longer of what you're experiencing. I just can't seem to get there. The thing I seem most fearful of is the panic not stopping when I get too far or trapped and that I'll be miserable ( I know I won't die or go insane) and I don't want to face that. Even the high anxiety, on the verge of panic, seems too horrible to want to face.

I have learned to ask myself "what am I afraid is going to happen if I panic?" Then I evaluate the true likelihood based on my past and such (the program, at the group, taught this), but I still get scared. Sometimes, just high levels of anxiety without panic, but sometimes with panic. And if just high levels of anxiety, then constant fear and worry about panicking. I also have a hard time setting up practice sessions because I have to keep setting out for a couple hours a day (there and back) and it doesn't seem to really help.

I have a couple of good friends who are very supportive and encourage me and don't make me feel bad and I now tell people openly why I don't do this or that and people are really not judgmental about it. They don't think I'm strange like I thought they would, LOL!!

Bronwyn's response:

Lorrie .. The support group leaders say I'm farther along than any of them and should be content! I know you can recover from this completely. If others have, and I know they have, I CAN TOO!!!

Bronwyn: You are right not to be content!!! You can do this and your attitude is fantastic, this will get you through the final leg!

Lorrie: I truly believe I can completely overcome this but I feel I'm missing some link.

I know the way out is when you come to not be afraid any longer of what your experiencing, I just can't seem to get there. The thing I seem most fearful of is the panic not stopping when I get too far or trapped and that I'll be miserable ( I know I won't die or go insane) and I don't want to face that. Even the high anxiety on the verge of panic seems too horrible to want to face.

Bronwyn: This is the reason why you can't get there. This is the missing link:- 'The panic not stopping'...'I'll be miserable....and I don't want to face that...'seems to horrible to want to face'. Full recovery means you need to be able to face this. Not with fear, but 'So What'. 'So What' if I feel miserable..so what if my anxiety gets over the top...so what if it is horrible..so what if my panic doesn't stop, so what if I can't get off /get out of whatever...So What!!! And to say 'So What' you really have to feel it and mean it.

Because you are not content with how far and how successful you have been in managing thus far, this discontent can push you through into full recovery if you use it the right way. We always say to people, you need to feel the desire for recovery so bad it hurts. Full recovery means no matter what the cost you are going to recover. And those costs are full confrontation with the fear, panic, anxiety, with the misery, with the horror of it all. So What!! When you can do this it is over as quick as it starts.

We all need to be able to have an attack or feel the anxiety where ever we are, plane, car, shopping centre, work, gym, home, interstate, overseas where ever. It really is a matter of 'So What'.

People say to us, 'but I don't want to feel this way'. That is exactly right, but in not wanting to feel this way, all we are doing is resisting it, which only makes it ten times worse. If it happens, it happens...so what!

When you feel anxious and/or panic have you ever tried to make it worse? Have you ever tried to make yourself anxious/panic? You won't be able to, because when you really try you are not resisting it so it has nothing to fuel it and it simply doesn't happen!

Lorrie: I have learned to ask myself "what am I afraid is going to happen if I panic?" then evaluate the true likelihood based on my past and such (the program... at the group.. taught this) but I still get scared. Sometimes just high levels of anxiety without panic but sometimes with panic and if just high levels of anxiety then constant fear and worry about panicking.

Bronwyn: Did the program teach you to see the relationship between how you are thinking and how your body responds to those thoughts. When you can see this relationship, you see why there is nothing to fear. It is just the body's natural response to 'danger'. The way you are thinking is telling the body..'danger..danger' and the body is reacting the way it is designed to act in a dangerous situation. The only problem is the danger is being created by the way we think. The body can't tell the difference between our thoughts..'what if I have an attack, feel anxious, miserable, horrible etc' and the thought, 'Here comes a Mac truck at 150 ks an hour and it hasn't got any brakes, ahhhhhhhh'! Get control of the anxiety/panic producing thoughts and really develop the attitude, 'So What'.

Lorrie: I also have a hard time setting up practice sessions because I have to keep setting out for a couple hours a day (there and back) and it doesn't seem to really help.

Bronwyn: No, it won't help if you are still frightened and haven't learned to really control your thinking. Doing the practice sessions means you do need to let yourself feel anxious/panic and not add to them by...'what if,' etc. Practice letting yourself feeling anxious and letting yourself panic. Don't resist them and learn to control your thinking by letting your thoughts go, that is by not buying into them. Turn them into the 'so whats'.

Lorrie: I have a couple of good friends who are very supportive and encourage me and don't make me feel bad and I now tell people openly why I don't do this or that and people are really not judgmental about it. They don't think I'm strange like I thought they would, LOL!!

Bronwyn: This is great. By being able to tell people, you do take so much pressure off yourself and it does really help. 1 out of every 10 people you tell will also have the Disorder and most other people don't think we are strange. Most are very supportive.

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