Book Teaches Children How to Deal with Anxiety

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Book Teaches Children How to Deal with Anxiety

(March, 2006) -- Worries are like tomatoes, says Dawn Huebner, 45, a pediatric psychologist and author from Exeter. Like tomatoes, worries grow when we pay attention to them; they root and spread effortlessly when given room in the garden, water and fertilizer. For children though, worries can be paralyzing.

If you child’s worries interfere with his daily life, with his health and ability to focus, if your child needs copious amounts of reassurance, if you have to review the plan again and again all the while fielding your child’s contingency questions, then Huebner’s self-help book, designed to guide 6 to 12 year olds and their parents as they learn to manage generalized anxiety, is now available.

Huebner says current research shows that cognitive behavioral therapy is the best approach to managing anxiety not medication.

"Even high anxiety can be managed," says Huebner. "Anxiety can be quite intense. Parents and kids want relief. They want to know: ‘What can I do, what can I say to support my child without making things worse?’"

Childhood anxiety disorders can be triggered by trauma of some sort or by chronic stress, or come courtesy of family history. There are many forms of anxiety including: separation anxiety; generalized anxiety; obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD); as well as specific phobias such as fear of the weather or dogs. Yet, telling kids not to worry, to take a deep breath, or, just don’t think about it, is ineffective.

Huebner says kids laugh when their parents finally understand this approach stymies their ability to manage their anxiety. Kids know they need more than admonishments and denial. And Huebner shares skills to "beat the worries" like telling worries to get lost, putting worries into a Worry Box, and making worries wait until Worry Time - a sacred 15 minute time period set aside for parents to listen to their child’s worries without distraction or judgment.

"I love the active storytelling component using metaphor and story and play to understand things in a deeper way," Huebner says.

Certain metaphors work well to help kids move through their anxiety. Huebner shares the well-known act of jumping in a pool and the water feels unbearably cold. If you get right back out of the water, you never adjust to the temperature and freeze every time you get in. But if you stay in and splash around a bit, your body adjusts and it feels OK.

"After all, if you never stay in it, you don’t learn how to tolerate feeling anxious," Huebner says correlating the metaphor to anxiety. "Rather than feeling scared of it, you work through it."

Huebner relies on child-friendly concepts that result in feelings of competency and success. Kids are proud of the fact they know that if they stay in the pool they will get used to it, and that it’s ridiculous to jump out and get cold again, she says.

Dawn Huebner will read from and sign copies of her book at 1 p.m. on Saturday, March 25 at Barnes & Noble in Newington. Courtesy photo

The book, one of five contracted for publication, stemmed from Huebner’s clinical practice. Combing narrative therapy, solution focused therapy and cognitive-behavioral therapy to help kids develop competency and resilience as well as find solutions, Huebner often told stories that her clients illustrated during the discussion. Still, she wanted something more to share with her clients and their families. Books existed concerning generalized anxiety, Huebner says, but none addressed what to do about it.

"The book was in me. I needed to write it," she says, and within a year and a half of sending the manuscript out, she had a contract with Magination Press, in Washington, D.C.

"It’s exciting. I had loved writing as a child and wrote lots of stories. I envisioned myself writing in some way, but I wasn’t sure how."

Imagine planting the seed in your child’s mind that sprouts this sentence: "Sometimes I worry too much, but now I know how to stop."

Huebner designed the text as a read aloud for parents and/or therapists working with children. She read her words aloud while writing; an encouraging tone was important along with offering specific advice. She wanted to support parents as they support their child. The interactive approach allows parents and children to combine forces, to work as a team as they create a calm, united approach to managing anxiety. As families change the patterns between parent and child, between child and anxiety, and between parent and anxiety, it is possible for everyone to feel heard, loved, and reassured.

"Kids can’t control what comes into their head, but they can control it once it’s there," Huebner says, explaining that often times kids with OCD are ashamed by the intrusive nature of their thoughts.

They can’t control what pops up, Huebner shares, just like adults can’t control the mail that comes to their mailbox. But people can control what they focus on, what they open and read. Huebner teaches her clients about Junk Mail - junk comes into their brains that oftentimes feels frightening. Kids don’t want or need these thoughts. She teaches her clients that they don’t need to pay attention to them; rather than focus on them, they can sort their mental mail and delete what they don’t want.

"It’s OK to not read junk mail," Huebner says.

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Yet, it’s tricky with kids, says Huebner, explaining that developmentally, kids are not at the place to understand that they can think about thoughts and be reflective and change them. Huebner helps children recognize the connection between thoughts and feelings. She uses a metaphor about a fork in the road to demonstrate how kids can change their thoughts, which in turn changes their feelings - one path is filled with angry, anxious thoughts, the other positive, supportive, loving thoughts. What kind of thoughts keep you on which road? What thoughts make you feel better? And so forth.

"It’s gratifying to work with kids, to see that ‘ah ha’ moment, to see kids take control of their own life," Huebner says. "Kids often live passively. They have to learn to exert control in their own head about what they are thinking and feeling, that they can be an active participant in their own lives."

Source: Seacoast Health

Last updated -03/06

Book Teaches Children How to Deal with Anxiety

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