My Story of Panic

My anxiety disorder started over 10 years ago. After having a night out on the town, I woke up one morning with a loud ringing noise in my ears. My head felt extremely heavy and I felt a strange fogginess. Noise seemed to be amplified.

I started to feel my heart racing uncontrollably. I was in a state of total panic. I was terrified and thought I was going to die. I somehow managed to get to the doctor and was told I was experiencing a problem with my inner ear and that it should pass in 24 hours.

It didn't pass, and 6 months later I was having all sorts of tests to find the problem. The problem was in my inner ear, but there wasn't a cure or medication I could take to alleviate it. I was told I would have to learn to live with it.

I now know that it was probably the anxiety aggravating the symptoms of the inner ear and that it was a vicious cycle -- the more anxious I became, the more I noticed the symptoms of my inner ear problem.

I eventually started to recover from the anxiety and panic. As I became more relaxed, the less off balance and dizzy I would feel from my inner ear injury. But it took me years to function in a normal, everyday manner, as I had no idea that it was the anxiety that was aggravating the problem.

Recently, I've been having feelings of anxiety and panic again, brought on by many changes going on in my life. I believe it's happened for a reason, and once I get through this transition I will become a stronger, more loving, spiritual person.

I've started a journey to find out my purpose and meaning in life, and on this journey I'm discovering the true meaning to "Inner Peace". These are the symptoms that I'm striving to achieve:

• Tendency to think and act spontaneously, rather than acting on fear based on past experience.
• An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment.
• Loss of interest in judging other people.
• Loss of interest in judging self.
• Loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others.
• Loss of interest in conflict.
• Loss of ability to worry (a very serious symptom).
• Frequent, overwhelming episodes of appreciation.
• Contented feelings of connectedness with others and with nature.
• Frequent attacks of smiling through the eyes and heart.
• Increasing tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen.
• Increased susceptibility to love extended from others as well as the uncontrollable urge to extend it.

Wouldn't it be nice to achieve all of those qualities?

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