Chapter 5 cont:
After finishing the second tour of your body, you are invited to return to
the starting point and prepare yourself for the second step. However sometimes,
while you are on the first step, unexpected changes have happened at the
starting point, and thus a surprise awaits you there. Even if your point of
departure was a significant and unpleasant sensation, it may already be changed
or even dissolved. In such a case, you can choose for the second step, any
other uneasy or unpleasant sensation you still have. In the rare case where you
cannot find any - leave the sensate-focus training and have a good time while
it lasts. When an unpleasant feeling or sensation returns you will be able to
resume the training.
If you are one of those people who are hard to stop while things are
unfinished, you can still resume this step, even if you have lost the last of
the bad feelings. In this case you can choose as a substitute, one of the
facial muscles that are on the left of the mouth. (If you are left-handed - try
the right side.) A somewhat more sophisticated means to this end is: the
"opening of the nape* of the neck", recycling of emotionally loaded
memories, structured imagery and self-provocations. However, if you are doing
this step without the aid of an experienced focuser - be careful not to invite
too intense feelings.
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Opening the nape is a term used in this book to name the act of
reclining the head slightly backwards on a comfortable support. This act
relaxes the muscles of the nape and neck. As a result, their ability to lower
the intensity of subliminal sensations of the body diminish and they become
perceptible.
This activity is usually like opening a tap. You can set it to achieve the
required intensity of feelings by "tuning" the amount of the
relaxation of the muscles of the neck. The crude tuning is done by adjusting
the curvature and slope of the support used for the back and the head. The fine
tuning is done by a minute adjusting of the extent you lean back, and the
extent you direct your chin up or down.
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Second step - finding the exact address
After the "general visit of courtesy" to the feelings and
sensations of various parts and "regions" of the body, try to
localize the exact address of one of your body sensations. Choose the one you
know the most, the one which is the most interesting or the most intense.
The aim of the following task is to deepen your acquaintance with the felt
senses of your body. In spite of the obstacles and inconveniences you may
encounter in the first trial, it is worth doing for a few seconds - before you
resume reading about the obstacles and the explanations as to how to overcome
them.
This is the recommended point at which to execute
the first trial of the second step.
After doing the task once, it is recommended that you do it from time to
time, while you read the following paragraphs. There are many difficulties you
may encounter in this step - which seems so innocent at first - hopefully not
all of them on the first day of focusing. Following are the most prominent ones
and their remedies:
It is hard for anyone who is not skilled and experienced, to continue
concentrating on a point of the body without drifting into some other physical
or mental activity. Sometimes, the focusing itself arouses a chain of
associations or other cognitive processes. This might interfere with the
ongoing focusing or even prevent its continuance.
Following are three options one can implement when this happens:
- Give in and change what you do for awhile.
- Intensify the efforts of focusing to overcome the distractions.
- Choose any simple word or a syllable that first comes to your mind and
repeat it silently many times. This repetition paralyzes the distracting
thoughts and enables you to continue focusing during the recitation*.
* In their verbal games, children find that the fast repetition of a word
obliterates its meaning and stops all other thoughts. Scientists have found the
same effect in their laboratories, during cognitive studies and call it
semantic satiation. The Mantra of the Yogi has the same use in the various
Eastern meditations. This tactic is also recommended to stop unpleasant or
disturbing thoughts occurring in other circumstances.
Sometimes, because of the expedition of the processes of the natural
biofeedback, the effort to perform the first step may cause the unpleasant
sensation to migrate. In that case, one can join the migrating sensation and
"escort" it along its course. In such a case, you can substitute the
task of demarcating a course for that of locating a point.
The general tour of the body itself, and especially the effort to locate the
precise address of a sensation, may cause a swift and uncontrolled process of
natural biofeedback. In this case, trying to implement the second step may
cause a weakening, flickering, or even disappearance of the sensation, before
completing the mission of finding the exact address.
This can happen due to the regular ("spontaneous") work of the
relevant activation processes and programs - as in normal daily life. It can
also be the result of the intensification of natural biofeedback resulting from
your unintentionally "meddling with the natural flow of the emotional
stream". This is the usual outcome - whenever one increases that part of
the resources of the brain and mind which one dedicates to any sensation of the
body (through intentionally or unintentionally paying it more attention than
before).
Though this lengthens the time needed for the location of the address, it is
not recommended to rely on memory while trying to locate the address of an
evasive sensation.
When meeting an unstable sensation, do not panic into hasty activity, as it
is not the last time you will "hear" from it. You are bound to meet
with this unpleasant sensation again and again during the following weeks. Only
numerous repetitions of the drill can cause a common unpleasant feeling or
sensation to change into an infrequent visitor.
As mentioned above, it is sometimes hard to find a sensation to focus on.
Usually it is the work of the cover-programs and only very seldom the result of
other mechanisms. Both of them restrict the ability of emotional processes to
breakthrough to the conscious without "a proper invitation", as if
they "know better" what is good for us.
Sometimes however, the opposite is true: the failure of the cover-programs
to regulate the entrance of the felt sense to the awareness results in the
intensification of the unpleasant feeling to an almost unbearable level.
Following are a few corrective measures.
If a sensation becomes too strong, beginners are advised to refrain from
being "heroes" and do one of the following instead:
- Focus for a while on another feeling or sensation.
- Do something else for awhile.
- Do something to curb them. For instance:
a) Rub the palms of the hands
intensively against each other in order to "trim" the inflated
unpleasant sensation to a bearable level. The quick palm rubbing floods the
brain centers, which create the too intense sensation, with sensory input. As a
result, their ability concurrently to create the unpleasant sensation is
weakened. The same palms when held together as if in prayer - help to regain
concentration when focusing is disturbed.
b) Constrict the muscles of the mouth and press the lips against each other.
The mouth - which is activated by many supra-programs, is the most useful
eraser for emotions and other felt sensations. The pressure of the two lips one
against the other activates the restraining and inhibiting functions of the
mouth on the creation of the felt sensations. It serves the conscious when
applied intentionally, and the unconscious - when done spontaneously.
Certain patterns in which the muscles tense the mouth, inhibit specific
feelings and sensations. The introduction of a gap of only a millimeters
between the lips - with or without the added intrusion of the tongue between
the frontal teeth - will cause a progressive relaxation of the mouth muscles.
This causes a decrease in the ability of the lips, as well as that of the other
muscles of the mouth, to erase or inhibit emotions and their felt sensations.
c) The other important "eraser of emotions" and felt sensations is
the "nape of the neck" and its muscles. The Biblical nickname
"stiff neck" for stubborn people is an example of popular knowledge.
Hardening the muscles of the nape of the neck blots out the current emotions
and feelings.
The voluntary hardening of these muscles - just before, or in the early
stage of the development of bad feelings - helps us to repel the induction of
unpleasant feelings. We usually do it without being fully aware of the fact.
Mainly we do it before a painful medical treatment or when unpleasant
feelings are imposed on us by those wishing to intimidate us. The conscious
hardening and relaxing of those muscles, will enable you to regulate your
sensations without too much effort.
Prolonged focusing can be perplexing because of its peculiarity - even after
being experienced many times - especially for those who are not used to paying
attention to mild and weak sensations of their body. A few trials will be
necessary before you get used to it and even love it.
The following paragraphs will describe the preferred way of executing the
task of finding the accurate address of the sensation of a feeling, an emotion,
a mood or any other felt sensation.
First of all we repeat, emphasize and clarify that the task of finding the
exact address is to be a nonverbal one. There is no need to find a verbal name
for the location, as no mail is sent there. Sometimes, the very effort to find
a verbal name makes things worse, it is nearly always redundant.
The preferred way of getting over the obstacles in the process of finding
the address of a sensation is by an imaginary probing and touching there with a
soft and elongated object. The fastidious ones can use an imaginary paintbrush
- the rest can use in their imagination the more convenient pointing finger.
When one uses a pointing finger, one can imagine bringing the index finger
near the sensation, or even placing it there for a short time. When one uses
the imaginary paintbrush for the same purpose (a soft one is to be preferred),
one can put it there instead of the finger. Most of the time, however,
sensation is not on the surface of the body but within it. Thus, both the
finger and the paint brush can reach the place by imagery only.
Sometimes, especially when the sensation is hazy or spread over a large
region or both, it is hard to focus on the entire chosen area at the same time.
In a case like this one can choose any point in the region and concentrate on
it alone. When this approach does not help, one can try another
"trick":
Sometimes, a slight pressure, caress, or a gentle rubbing of the
skin near that sensation helps mobilize the needed attention and concentration.
Some times the needed resources are mobilized by repeating the above actions a
few times for a short while. However, sometimes the physical contact which is
intended to help is itself a distracter. When this happens, one can start
focusing on the after-image of the gentle contacts instead.
In all these versions, one starts focusing with a few seconds of attention
to the feelings caused by touch. Then, gradually - while those feelings are
fading - shift to the genuine one.
Before you continue with the following step, do the
second step again. This time dedicate to
it a whole minute - or even two.
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