A Second Look
At Co-dependency:
Dear Colleague,
We have spoken repeatedly about the perils of
co-dependency along with the value of self-love. To love oneself is
vital to health and well being we maintain. We must all learn to
cherish that which most belongs to us – our very selves. But what
of others? Some small part of me asks.
You have lectured sweet Maria, lovingly
scolded her, and pathologized her generosity, reducing her giving
spirit to a modern day illness.
What acts of kindness have we witnessed that
manifest her sickness? Her willingness to open her home to friends,
family, and even strangers? Her hours of labor freely given on
behalf of others for no pay? Her love offerings of hot meals,
financial assistance, and the countless errands she has ran for
shut-ins? The sacrifices she has made on behalf of her own and other
people’s children? The numerous favors she so willingly grants?
This is the life-long pattern that has conjured up your diagnosis
– the personality disorder of co-dependency.
How will we heal her? Teach her to look away
from the suffering around her? Instruct her to place her own needs
above those who are needier? Encourage her to direct her energy
inward, so that she can grow to be all that she can be? Advise her
to indulge herself more often, inform her that she should give less
and play more?
And when we have healed her, my wise friend,
the world will have one less co-dependent. But what else will it
have lost? I wonder…
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