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"The last
place we tend to look for healing is within ourselves."
-- Wayne Muller
Medical
sociologist, Aaron Antonovsky, after conducting several studies
regarding personality characteristics that serve to promote well
being, concluded that it's a sense of coherence within the
individual that produces health. This sense of coherence is
comprised of three components: (1) comprehensibility, (2)
manageability, and (3) meaningfulness.
When we view the world as comprehensible, we
perceive it as making sense, possessing some sort of structure, and
offering some level of predictability. When we believe the world is
manageable, then we feel able for the most part to meet the demands
of life, having faith that one way or another we'll be able to cope
with our circumstances. The meaning that we attach to a situation
not only effects how we'll respond to it emotionally, but impacts
our physiological responses as well. Antonovsky proposes that when
we possess a strong sense of coherence, we tend to view the
challenges that confront us as opportunities rather than as threats,
consequently minimizing their stressful effects. Research indicates
that when we simply anticipate an experience that we expect will be
positive, or think about something that makes us feel good, positive
changes occur in our bodies as well.
Liz, a lovely and energetic woman with whom I
worked had a near fatal heart attack at the age of forty-five. She
was lying on a gurney in excruciating pain while emergency workers
scrambled to save her life when she was struck by the chilling
awareness that she could be dying. Liz wrote:
"You read about it in the paper just
about every morning, some middle aged man or women with growing
children has died suddenly. It happened all of the time, and now it
was happening to me. 'I'm dying' I thought in amazement. This
is it. I'm no exception. I'm just an obituary in the morning paper
in the grand scheme of things. No warning, no second chances, no
negotiating or compromising, just over and out.
I had lived my life with such warped
priorities, giving far too much weight to deadlines at work, dust on
the furniture, and children with dirty fingernails. Right before
having my attack, I'd been obsessing over a memo I needed to send to
my boss. I'd hardly slept the night before, writing it over and over
again in my head. After I sent it off, I was a nervous wreck,
imagining that he'd conclude that I hadn't adequately planned for a
very important project that I'd been assigned. Well here I was
dying, and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I wasn't prepared.
All of the sudden, that memo and my boss's approval meant absolutely
nothing.
They say you see your life flash before your
eyes when you're dying. Well in a way I did see my life pass before
me in snap shots. I watched a replay of Tina slamming the door in
tears that morning. I remembered the discouraged look on Patrick's
face the night before when he realized that I hadn't been listening
to him again. I recalled how warm the sun had felt on my skin as I
hurried to get into the car, and how I'd never gotten around to
watching the morning news with my husband. I thought of a friend
who'd listened to me complain over and over and over again of never
having enough time. She'd suggested that when I got the chance I
should write an essay entitled, 'When I have the time...'
The recovery process was a time of reckoning
for me. Faced with a significantly damaged heart, numerous
uncertainties, and borrowed time on my hands, I began to write that
essay.
An old friend had brought me in a magazine
article stating that the United States had been hit with a
potentially deadly epidemic. This malady was said to be one of the
top five reasons that people call their doctors, was the culprit
behind one of every four health complaints, and was one of the
leading causes of early death. What was this terrible affliction? A
lack of joy.
My life, a privileged one by even my
standards, contained far too much stress and way too few pleasures.
The greatest irony was that most of the stress that I now firmly
believe led to my heart breaking down, was self-imposed, and the
absence of pleasure was related to my own self denial.
I took notes while I read the article. It
suggested that in order to experience more joy, I needed to work on
patience, unity, agreement, humility, and kindness. I made a
commitment that when I left the hospital I would do the following:
- I would strive to be more patient. I would
take deep breaths, stop behaving as almost every task before me
was an emergency, slow down, and ask myself when I started to
become agitated or upset, 'How important is this in the grand
scheme of things?' One brief flashback of the emergency room
usually serves to put things in perspective.
- I would pay attention to my body by
listening to and responding to its' signals. I would take more
time to really connect with other people, concentrating on the
moment and being as present as possible. I would spend some time
each day in prayer, or meditating, or spending a few moments in
nature.
- I would work to stop over reacting to those
things I had little or no control over and begin to view each
experience as an opportunity to learn instead of as a potential
threat. In fact, I would make a decision to view the whole of my
life as a learning process rather than a race I had to run, or a
deadly serious game in which it was important to score the most
points possible.
- I would try to acknowledge my weaknesses as
undeniable aspects of my humanness. When I took the time to
fully appreciate how my flesh, (just like the flesh of every
other person in the world) was ultimately so very vulnerable,
then striving for perfection began to seem ridiculous.
- I decided that in the best interest of both
my physical, emotional, and spiritual health, I would work on
being kinder."
It would appear that Liz is doing a wonderful
job keeping her commitments judging by the healthy glow of her skin,
the twinkle in her eyes, and the relaxed, graceful movements of her
body.
I recall a winter day long ago when my
sister-in-law and brother-in-law dropped by. My sister-in-law was
her radiant, cheerful self; however, I was immediately concerned
about my brother-in-law who appeared drawn, tired and depressed. I
asked him what was wrong. He informed me that they had finally
managed to save a few hundred dollars in the bank (they had been
struggling financially for years in spite of their very hard work)
when they received news that they owed the IRS over two hundred
dollars. Once again their savings would be wiped out. "It seems
like someone is watching me, just waiting to stomp me back down
every time I get my head up," he complained. My sister-in-law
immediately replied, "Did you ever think that maybe someone is
watching over you, and that when we could have been in trouble by
not having the money to pay the taxes, lo and behold, there it
was!" I was struck by the effect of this event on these two
very special people. The experience was the same for both, and yet
the way it was experienced, was vastly different. It created
anxiousness, discouragement, and weariness in one, while it fostered
appreciation, gratitude and peace in the other.
Kenneth Pelletier in "Mind as Healer,
Mind as Slayer," points out that between 50 to 80 percent
of all diseases have psychosomatic or stress-related origins.
According to Pelletier, any disorder is the result of a complex
interaction of physical and psychological stress, social factors,
the personality of the individual, and his or her inability to adapt
adequately to the stressors.
Victor Frankl, in "Man’s Search for
Meaning," recalled the death of a fellow concentration camp
prisoner, as he wrote of the deadly effect of losing hope and
courage in the camps. The prisoner had confided in Frankl that he
had had a prophetic dream which informed him that the camp would be
liberated on March 30th. Frankl's companion was filled with hope. As
March 30th grew nearer, the war news remained bleak. It seemed
highly unlikely that Frankl and his companions would be free by the
promised date. On March 29th, Frankl's companion suddenly became
ill, running a high temperature. On the 30th, the day the prisoner
had believed he was to be rescued, he became delirious and lost
consciousness. On March 31st, he died.
Frankl believed that the terrible
disappointment his friend faced when liberation did not occur had
lowered his body’s resistance against infection and consequently
allowed him to become victim to illness.
Frankl also pointed out that the death rate in
the concentration camp during the week between Christmas and New
Years in 1944, dramatically increased beyond all previous
experience. The camp physician concluded (and Frankl concurred) that
the higher death rate was due to the prisoners’ disappointment and
loss of courage. Many of them had hoped that they would be freed and
home again by Christmas. When their hopes proved to be in vain,
their powers of resistance dropped dramatically and a number of them
died. The presence of hope and faith not only provides comfort, it
can also save lives.
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