Why is This Thing Eating My Life?

Computer and Cyberspace Addiction at the "Palace"

Psychologists are buzzing with discussion about a new type of addiction - internet addiction. Of course, those psychologists who avidly dive into cyberspace to research this phenomenon may be experiencing the very thing they are studying, but that's another whole story. Several important questions still stand before us: What forms does this addiction take? What causes it? Is it always a symptom of mental pathology, or is there a positive side to being "addicted"? In this article I'd like to explore these questions in the context of the relatively new virtual environment known as the Graphical Multi-User (K)onversation - or "GMUK." These GMUKs are similar to the familiar, text-only chat environments, except you interact with people in a visual scene with little graphical icons ("avatars") to represent yourself. An excellent example of a GMUK is the Palace - an environment that has been a focus of my research as a cyberpsychologist.

In several of the rooms at the Main Palace site, a curious thing happens whenever you mention the word "Palace." For instance, if an unsuspecting user types "Where can I get the new version for Palace?", he may be quite perplexed by what actually appears on the screen: "Where can I get the new version of this thing that is eating my life ?" When the user finally figures out that the Palace program itself is making this silly little substitution of words, his confusion may turn to delight, and then, perhaps, to a self-conscious, even worrisome realization. This thing really IS eating my life! Just hang around the Palace for a little while and you will hear the jokes:

"How often do you come here ZeroGravity?"

"Too often."

"Hey, Tippy! You still here? Get a life!"

"I don't have one, Gyro!"

"Hiya Smokey! You back again? I saw you this morning."

"I needed another fix!.... LOL!"

Early in the development of the Palace software, Jim Bumgardner, it's creator, discovered that users found the program quite addictive. The humorous substitution of words reminds us of this fact, should we even mention the name of this thing that has cast the spell over us. The question is: WHY is it so addicting? The substitution joke suggests that we don't even have a word to label it. The power that addicts us is an unnameable THING! While hanging out at the Palace, I've often tossed out this very question to the group, "So why do you think this place is so addictive?" Often, the reply is "I dunno." Can it really be that we don't understand this thing that threatens to gobble up huge chunks of our existence, like some insatiable but mystifying creature beneath our beds?

We psychologists have long thought about why people become obsessed. There are a variety of theories on the topic. One common denominator is the idea that people become preoccupied with a thing, person, or activity because it satisfies a NEED. Humans are complex beings, and so the needs that fuel their behavior are complex and many. In the 1960s, Abraham Maslow, one of the founders of humanistic psychology, charted the wide variety of human needs according to a hierarchy ranging from very fundamental, biological needs to higher order ones of an aesthetic and self-actualizing nature. When a person is able to satisfy needs at one level, she is then prepared to move upward to the next. Perhaps, to answer the riddle posed by the Palace substitution script, we should take a similar path. By starting at the bottom of Maslow's hierarchy and working our way up, we can attempt to place some words around and onto that PalaceThing that can be so captivating, consuming, and delightful (BTW, I should add that some of these explanations apply to MANY chat, newsgroup, and MOO environments on the net).

And They Laughed at Freud!

One afternoon when I asked the group at Harry's Bar why they thought the Palace was addictive, someone gave a simple, one word reply that I hadn't heard before.... "SEX." I had to LOL. Of course! A hundred years ago Freud claimed that sex was the primary human motive. And Maslow placed it at the bottom level of his hierarchical pyramid (along with other essentials like the need for food, water, warmth, shelter, and physical safety). It's a basic biological need that commands attention. While most people at the Palace are not out to bed someone, some people definitely are. If you take a quick look at the list of rooms, often you will find that some of the "guest rooms" are "closed" - i.e., the door is locked so no one else can get in. The list will also tell you how many people are in the room. If it's two (and sometimes even three), you can be pretty certain what they are up to.

Exactly what goes on behind those closed doors is a topic for another whole article. In fact, many of those articles are already out there for the taking. Nowadays cybersex is a hot topic in the media precisely because sex IS one of those basic biological needs that commands everyone's attention. I prefer not to dwell on this topic right here and now because I think the prevailing attitude among many uninformed people ("the internet is nothing but pornography and cybersex") is simply a defense against underlying feelings of ignorance, inadequacy, and FEAR concerning the internet. I'd rather not encourage that distorted attitude which hides this cyber and techno phobia.

But let me say this about cybersex at the Palace or anywhere on the internet. When people get preoccupied with it, they do so for the same reasons people get obsessed with sex in any context. Sure, cybersex is very accessible if you have the technical know-how, it can be very anonymous and therefore emotionally safe, you can act out all sorts of fantasies by altering your identity and gender, you easily can bail out of an encounter and try again later, it's about as "safe sex" in the medical sense as you can get... and at the highly visual Palace, you have the added goodie of being able to display "props" (avatars, or simple "avs") to suit any of your desires, as long as you know how to create those props. All of this makes cybersex attractive. But the underlying needs being satisfied are the same as in the real world. Some people are enticed by the opportunity to not just satisfy but also experiment with their sexual appetite - and that may be perfectly healthy. Others are driven to cybersex out of loneliness, dependency, anger, or a deep insatiable emptiness that demands to be filled.

Most cybersex at the Palace doesn't even involve flashing pornographic icons or lewd language that sounds like it came from the Penthouse Letters or a cheap adult novel. Maybe the word "cybersex" doesn't even apply to most of the "sexual" activity taking place there. The good old fashioned word "flirting" is much more appropriate. The Palace often feels and looks like an ongoing cocktail party - and like any good party, there is a hefty dose of natural, playful flirting. Some of it is a prelude to sneaking up to one of the guest rooms. Much of it is just normal fun that doesn't progress to anything more sexually intimate. What makes it even more delightful than real world flirting are the same features that makes cybersex attractive. It's relatively anonymous and safe, so you can be a bit more open, bold, and experimental than you would at the real world office party. The highly visual/auditory Palace program also lets you do things that you usually can't do in pure text chat rooms. You can "play" with someone's personal space, you can snuggle up next to or mount yourself on top of a flirtee, you can blow him and her an auditory kiss, you can wiggle and "dance" together by maneuvering your props or running macros. Most alluring of all, you can enter a playful little pas de deux where you tease and court each other by displaying avatars that reveal your mood, intentions, likes and dislikes. In fact, the prop you wear can be a clear expression of whether you are in the mood to flirt or not. Most of the time this is all done rather tastefully. Sometimes not.... just like the real world.

Like at any party, this flirting can be a lot of fun and quite addictive. It also points to needs that go beyond the simple satisfaction of biological sex drive. It points to interpersonal needs. Here is where we move on to the next level in the hierarchy.

top | continued

home | about us | articles | tests | cyberwidows | virtual clinic | resources
books | send page