Looking Closer (I)

Imagine the booze becoming alive. Let's give this living entity a name. Let's call him or her Sam. Let's give Sam feelings, wants, needs, desires, dreams, and all the other attributes that make up a human being. Think of Sam as a living person and think of the addict as one of Sam's parents. Consider the addict to be dependent on Sam (formerly the booze).

Since Sam is no longer booze, the addict has a new complication to deal with. The complication is that Sam is no longer an inanimate object. Yet the addict's expectations for Sam are still the same as they were for the booze.

The addicts expectations for Sam will be:

• To be compliant
• To do nothing to frustrate the addict

As long as Sam is easy to use the addict is happy.

Now imagine Sam to be a young child. As a matter of survival, a young child learns how to become acceptable to his or her parents. The degree of acceptance as perceived by the child will be dependent on the moods and responses of the parent. If the parents are happy and non-coercive, the child will feel acceptable and safe. If the parents are angry, depressed, and controlling the child will feel unacceptable and scared.

In order for Sam's addict parent to be happy, Sam must assume the same role as the booze. That is to say, that as long as Sam remains easy to use, like the booze, Sam's parent will be happy. And as long as Sam's parent is happy, Sam will feel safe and acceptable.

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