Special Needs and Special Gifts

As parents of children with disabilities, we face the awesome task of learning all we can to meet the often Herculean physical, mental, and emotional needs of our children. We want our children to grow up as strong as possible in all of these areas.

From my experience as a parent of children with disabilities, from more than 30 years of dealing with educational agencies, and from experience gained serving as a volunteer advocate, I have developed a fair amount of insight into the education process. I hope that experience will benefit others on their journey with their children. Perhaps you are such a parent seeking advocacy information.

Nobody knows your child, like you do

You already have important basic information. You are the expert on your child. No one knows more about your child than you do. You nurture, you listen, you observe, you encourage, you see how he/she learns, you know the strengths and the frailties of your child. You know what makes her happy, and you know what ticks him off. You know what frightens him. You know how far that child can go before she falls off the deep end.

Your understanding of this child is extremely important to the educational process he experiences in school. A relatively new law, the1997 Amendments to the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA), recognizes your importance and expertise as a parent. The law encourages your participation as a member of the team that will decide the educational placement, support, and services your child will receive.

This web site will hopefully empower you as a parent to quickly understand the basics of the law, the philosophy driving that law (as I understand it), and how to attain basic skills you will need to be a guiding member of the team educating your child.

Getting through the system

As with anything, we learn from experience. As you use these tools, you will grow in your effectiveness as an advocate. Each success should lead to greater successes for your child. You will gain confidence and feel more comfortable when you walk into what you may now view as "the dreaded IEP (Individualized Education Plan) meeting". You will be more at ease in guiding your child's education and in helping the team see what your vision is for your child and his/her future. You will be respected for your knowledge of the law and the special education process. You will become an equal, contributing member of the educational team.

I believe there's a need for a basic guide which can quickly give you insight into the philosophy behind the federal and state regulations and your place within the maze of special education. This guide isn't intended to be an exhaustive search into all the intricacies of the law. Rather it is intended to help you, as a parent, become empowered with the basic tools to become actively involved with your child's education. You can start utilizing those tools of effective advocacy immediately. You will feel tremendous relief as you begin to take charge of your child's educational planning.

To accomplish that goal, you must ensure that the team's focus is on the child's gifts or strengths and not on the weaknesses. Too often, the focus is reversed. Each child is entitled to become all he or she can be, and you are entrusted to guide him on the path to that point. There will be many other players along the way, but you will be there from the beginning to the end of the educational process. Your child will live with the decisions made by the education team for the rest of his or her life. You are a crucial player on that team.

My strategy for successful advocacy starts with the school, then the Special Ed Dept., then if necessary, the State Department of Education, and if all else fails, the Office for Civil Rights or the U. S. Department of Education. Hiring an attorney and entering due process is another route. However, I see this happening only as a last resort as these cases can take a very, very long time to resolve. The law allows for and encourages this orderly fashion of resolving problems and disputes. It works when you understand the system and can use it for its intended purpose, which is to enable your child to receive a meaningful education.

You can help your child

My greatest personal reward has been to watch our son mature and become an effective self-advocate who can problem-solve and stand up for himself in a calm, self-assured manner. It's probably the single most useful skill he will ever acquire.

I hope my experience both as a parent with a disability, three children with disabilities, and considerable experience as an advocate, will serve to uplift you and empower you in your walk with your child. I cannot and do not claim to have professional qualifications, and in the event of a serious dispute, it is wise to consult a lawyer, one who is truly qualified and experienced in the area of education law. In the meantime, if you keep meticulous written records and documentation, you will have an excellent foundation upon which to proceed.

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