The Parent
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Building on a Child's StrengthsWhen I'm called upon to assist a child who is struggling in school, I find the spotlight is invariably focused on a child's weaknesses. This is particularly common for the child with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), as poor social skills have brought additional negativity into play. Years of remedial effort have been poured into fixing what's broken, rather than capitalizing on what works. In other words, if a child can't read, hours are spent teaching that child with methods that didn't work in the first place. If there are behavior issues, the same punitive measures are used over-and-over, yet there's no improvement. When the spotlight shifts onto areas where your child shines, in his/her areas of strengths and personal interest, there are often very dramatic improvements in work effort and negative behaviors often significantly diminish. Areas of StrengthChild psychologist and recognized authority on ADHD, Dr. Robert Brooks, developed the term "islands of competence" in reference to these areas of strength. I interpret his concept in the following way:
I've used both concepts in helping a parent obtain services for a child suffering from academic failure and low self-esteem. Every child must feel important and every child must taste success. Once academic needs are determined and appropriate services are in place, it's extremely important to begin building self-confidence and self-reliance. It's essential to have a concerted effort both at home and at school, with clear communication between the school officials and the parents.
Dr. Brooks likes for each of his young patients to have a special job at school in an area related to the child's interests and needs. It can be something like feeding pets or taking attendance to the office monitor. This can take creativity and ingenuity, but it's essential. The schools I visit are usually resistant to this effort. After all, many have never tried this positive approach to resolve behavior issues or low self-esteem problems. School personnel look at us like we've lost a few screws. But it works! Inappropriate behaviors diminish, the child walks taller, often begins to show improved self-confidence, and demonstrates reliability. He feels needed and recognized for his efforts. Sadly, the child with ADHD is often the last picked for helping out with different tasks. In reality, it's one of the single most effective tools to help your child gain self-confidence. Ways to Help Your ChildThe focus of scholastic effort must also be on the child's strengths. Following, are just a few examples and suggestions for compensating effectively for weaknesses and building on strengths.
Now, how do you advocate for your child, so your child can get the special help he/she needs.? advocacy |
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