Does My Child Have an Emotional or Behavioral Disorder?

Among all the dilemmas facing a parent of a child with emotional disorders or behavioral problems, the first question-whether the child's behavior is sufficiently different to require a comprehensive psychological evaluation by professionals-may be the most troublesome of all. Even when a child exhibits negative behaviors, members of a family may not all agree on whether the behaviors are serious. For instance, children who have frequent, severe temper outbursts or who destroy toys may appear to have a serious problem to some parents, while others see the same behavior as asserting independence or showing leadership skills.

Every child faces emotional difficulties from time-to-time, as do adults. Feelings of sadness or loss and extremes of emotions are part of growing up. Conflicts between parents and children are also inevitable as children struggle from the "terrible two' s" through adolescence to develop their own identities. These are normal changes in behavior due to growth and development. Such problems can be more common in times of change for the family - the death of a grandparent or family member, a new child, a move to the city. Generally, these kinds of problems tend to fade on their own or with limited visits to a counselor or other mental health professional as children adjust to the changes in their lives. At times, however, some children may develop inappropriate emotional and behavioral responses to situations in their lives that persist over time.

The realization that a child's behavior needs professional attention can be painful or frightening to parents who have tried to support their child, or it may be accepted and internalized as a personal failure by the parent.

Many parents are afraid that their child may be inappropriately labeled, and point out that the array of diagnoses, medicines, and therapies have not been agreed upon by all specialists. Still others become alarmed after obtaining an assessment for their child only to discover that the evaluator believed emotional disturbances originate in family dynamics and that "parenting skills" classes were the best way to address the problem. While many parents will concede that they may need to learn new behavior management or communication techniques in order to provide a consistent and rewarding environment for their child, many also express deep anger about the blame that continues to be placed on families with children who behave differently.

Before seeking a formal mental health assessment, parents may have tried to help their child by talking to friends, relatives or the child's school. They may try to discover whether others see the same problems, and to learn what others suggest they might try. Parents may feel that they also need help in learning better ways of supporting the child through difficult times, and may seek classes to help them sharpen behavior management skills or conflict resolution skills. Modifications in a child's routine at home or school may help to establish whether some fine tuning" will improve performance or self-esteem. If the problems a child is experiencing are seen as fairly severe, and are unresponsive to interventions at school, in the community or at home, an assessment by a competent mental health professional is probably in order. An assessment will provide information which, when combined with what parents know, may lead to a diagnosis of an emotional or a behavioral disorder, and a recommended treatment program.

So when is that magical moment when parents should recognize their child's behavior has surpassed the boundary of what all children do and has become sufficiently alarming to warrant a formal assessment? There probably isn't one. It is often a gradual awareness that a child's emotional or behavioral development just isn't where it should be that sends most parents on a quest for answers.

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Many thanks to PACER for the following article. PACER is the parent organization for the Parent Training and Information Centers.

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