support

Self-Help And Support Group Information

cont.

The same approach can be followed in ADD Adult Support Groups (open discussion) or Skills Development Groups. The skills development group would be more focused on a specific skill, and probably more structured as a result, while the support group would probably have very simple rules, like knowing the starting and stopping time, please don't interrupt and limiting the amount of time any one person can talk continuously.

Even groups of ADD Adults who resist structure may surprise themselves by having to make decisions even if they try to avoid them. Examples could include, where to meet, how often, who will facilitate, what will we talk about, what will it cost to do this, should we allow smoking, and do we provide refreshments?

All ADD Adult groups can benefit from a common thread of interest. If your group tries to be everything to everybody, you may end up with no members and no success. So keep in mind critical questions like, is this group going to be facilitated by health care providers, or by participants who have ADD? Is this group going to work with people just learning about ADD, or with adults who have several years experience in coping with their disability? Is your focus to help people understand how to be diagnosed and where to get help in the medical community. Is your goal to fill in for missing social activities or provide a feeling of camaraderie with your fellow ADDers? Is your goal to learn better parenting, relationship skills or compensation techniques.

If you are in a group facilitated by a health care provider what are you willing to pay for their services? If this group is affiliated with a national organization are you willing to become a member and show you support? If you group is organized by a fellow ADD Adult, how much time can they realistically give to the group? Do they need more help at the meetings, and again how will you cover details relating to meeting place expenses, mailings, phone calls and copies for handouts.

The most successful groups run by ADD Adults, are ones that realize sooner or later you may have to decide what kind of meeting(s) you will have, and who will organize them. Eventually more than one person needs to be involved in facilitating-perhaps several people can take turns. Accepting that it will cost at least a small amount of money to have meetings is absolutely necessary no matter what..

Being involved in a disorganized ADD Adult Group can be incredibly frustrating and discouraging, but being involved with a group that sets goals and plans for meetings can be absolutely great. the choice is of course up to you.

In future articles I may be exploring some of the different approaches used by various successful ADD Adult groups, and for those of you who want to learn how to be more effective facilitators, we will be providing information that is practical and useful.

I encourage you to also consider the Support Group Training session which ADDA will offer at its pre convention training in 1997. I will be facilitating this training alone with Kate Kelly, co-author of "You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy"

references:

"You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy" Kate Kelly and Peggy Ramundo

"Answers to Distraction" Edward Hallowell,M.D. and John Ratey, M.D.

A comprehensive Guide to Attention Deficit Disorder In Adults, Edited by Kathleen G. Nadeau, Ph. D.

"The Scoutmaster's Guide to ADD" by D. Steven Ledingham

'A Guide for Self-Help Groups for Adults With ADD" by D. Steven Ledingham and Reed Robertson)

Tips For Having A Successful Support Group
(Open Discussion) Meeting

1. Be on time
2. Have something in mind to talk about
3. Consider bringing information to share with the group
4. Having a few copies to share with others is often helpful
5. Avoid trying to counsel people who come. Try listening and only give suggestions if others ask you for them.
6. Admit when you don't know the answer to a question.
7. Avoid being critical, focus on being positive as much as possible.
8. Don't be afraid to have some rules written down, and refer to them.
9. Ask for help from the other people in your group.
10. Don't tolerate rudeness.
11. Don't argue with group members, everyone is entitled to their opinion.
12. Always clean up your meeting room when you are done.
13. Try to have several people involved in organizing the meetings, and call each other a few days ahead to make sure details are being taken care of.

Tips For Having a Successful

Skills Development Meeting

1. Be on time
2. Be prepared, know your topic in advance
3. Always have written materials with you to help you present the information.
4. If possible have handouts
5. Tell everyone in advance what your meeting rules are, review the need for confidentiality.
6. Collect some money from those attending to help cover the cost of copies, room expenses and phone calls that relate to the meeting.
7. If possible have a listing of health care providers who work with ADD Adults that you can give participants who need it.
8. Admit when you don't know something.
9. Don't let one person hog all the time in a meeting.
10. Don't force someone in a meeting to talk or share if they don't want to.
11. Focus on the positive!
12. Watch your language, many people are offended by swear words.
13. Avoid prejudice about religion, sex or race, ADD Adults need to stick together.
14. Accept that you are a volunteer and are doing this for the good of it. Don't put yourself down for not being "professional" enough.
15. Keep the group going, don't stop after a few weeks or months.
16. Learn about peer coaching, or get someone in the group to sponsor you. Offer to sponsor someone else.
17. Remain humble and modest.

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