stories

Marianne's Story (7/12/97)

My name is Marianne White. I am 47 years old and was diagnosed with ADD when my then 8 year old son was diagnosed. He is 11 years old now and has a lot of problems. I have two other children who are exhibiting symptoms of ADD. My 18 year old son is absolutely afflicted. He has just gotten out of a group home where he was placed because we just couldn't do anything for or about his problems anymore. My 18 year old had immense problems ever since he was about two year old. He was precocious, intelligent, and very verbal. The boy used to be able to put puzzles together without ever seeing them in a matter of minutes before he was three years old. I'm talking the form puzzles for children. When he went to his kindergarten round up the principal could not leave his side, he was so amazed with this child's accomplishments with his hand eye coordination. When my son was four years old he was beating me at perfection. That is a game that has a timer. There are about thirty different shapes that must be put in the proper slots before the timer goes off. Christopher was put in the talented and gifted program, and was gushed over by his teacher for his intelligence but unfortunately, the behavior was always a drawback. He just couldn't hack it behavior wise. He cut things, stole from his classmates, had terrible habits with body fluids, and just grossed people out. He did drugs from the time he was about 12, but I never knew or suspected. At age 14 he was arrested for marijuana possession and things just went downhill from there.

Chris was placed on probation, but never cared one bit about it. He was arrested again for beating his younger brothers. He was put on house arrest, and by that time, his truancy was so bad house arrest was the only way we could get him to school. He had trackers visit him for urine tests, checking for paraphernalia, and school records. We had weekly meetings at the house with a social worker but they didn't work out. He constantly robbed us until we had to put everything under lock and key. That is just not the way for a family to live. He finally got taken away when he was arrested for breaking and entering automobiles. Guess how he got the car he went boosting in to run? He stole the battery out of our car!!! He has been in and out of drug treatment and confesses himself to be an addict. He just lost another job and called us up to stay with us. I said no. I felt bad but what could I do? We haven't had to lock our doors since he was out of the house. We are afraid that Chris just might feel like breaking into the house while we are out and for that reason we don't let our younger sons stay home alone for very long.

Then there is my daughter. She has lost custody of her own child because she could not take care of her. She spent all her time looking for little boys to bed down with, and I do mean little boys, 14,15 years old. She , at the time was almost 20. She does not know who the father was and for a while she picked one out of a hat. The only problem was that the child's paternal grandmother, or at least the woman we thought was the grandmother fell in love with Evangelize the baby) and had her every other weekend with our blessing because we are the ones with custody now. The child lived in an environment that was dangerous. There was old food on the floor, cigarette butts and ashtrays, dirty condoms, used sanitary napkins, and dirty diapers also. We cleaned up for her and all she said was "I hope you didn't throw away anything important." We took five garbage bags out of a two room apartment. The dirty bottles were horrible. We had to throw away 24 of them. The last straw came when we dropped by her apartment after doing all of this work and saw the apartment in worse shape than ever. The marijuana smoke was so thick that it poured out of the front door of her place, and lo and behold, sitting in a circle in her living room was a group of at least 8 children, not one over 16. Beer and liquor bottles littered the floor and these kids were so ripped they couldn't see straight. Right in the middle of this was my beautiful granddaughter sleeping amid the smoke and garbage. I lost it, chased those brats out of her house and called the police with a child at risk complaint. Two days later we had our granddaughter. My daughter wants the baby back but she has a lot to prove to me. Especially since I have my own problems and can seem to take care of a baby and two more children at home fairly well.

My youngest son has been diagnosed as I said when he was 8 or 9 years old. He has so many problems. He cannot say his r's, he has dysgraphia, dyslexia, and more problems to numerous to mention. When he went into kindergarten, he didn't even know the alphabet. Of course I was incredulous because all of my other children were far above average intellectually as were both my husband and myself. I never even worried about Cody because of this. I just thought he was stubborn, but as time passed, we learned that Cody really had problems and needed help. That's when we took him to the doctor and had him diagnosed. He was on Ritalin until about four weeks ago when he went on Cylert. We have a long way to go with Cody and the war will never end. We just take it one day or less at a time. If an hour goes by and we make it through we're happy. Sometimes we have to take it one crises at a time, but we will never give up. I love my son in spite of all of it. I try to see him through God's eyes because in those eyes my son is perfect. Man was created in the image of God, for God's greater glory. I believe it with all of my heart. I couldn't go on if I didn't.

My story doesn't count. My parents didn't care. I was abused, physically and emotionally. I don't know what was worse. Was it my mother's abuse, or was it my father sitting by and doing nothing about it. My dad always used to say that I was the family whipping boy. When ever anything went wrong, I was the one she took it out on. I love my parents.

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