The first episode of OCD that I recall was when I was a youngster, about 9 or 10. The thought kept running through my mind that I may hurt my parents. My dad kept his rifles and a pistol in his room and I would never go into that room because I was afraid I may try to hurt them. What was really bad was that the bathroom was next to their room and I had to walk by it on a daily basis. The thoughts ran throught my mind constantly and sent me into panic attacks. My parents were ignorant of this horrible disease and my mother tried to help me. I told her that I had these terrible thoughts of hurting them in my mind, and she told me that if I ever said that again, she was going to hand me a gun to see what I would do. I know she was trying to help me by making me abolish those thoughts, but it didnt, the list goes on and on. Finally, my obsessions got to the point where they were consuming me and tearing my life apart

About four years ago, I knew I had to do something and asked my family doctor to help thinking it was just depression. Depression was in fact there, but my doctor thought it may be more serious and referred me to a psychiatrist. I never said a word but I was horrified. He must think I am crazy! How dare him to think such! Who the hell does he think he is? But you know what? Deep down, I knew I needed to go. So I buckled down and went. All I can say is, where was this doctor years ago and why didn't anybody send me there before? After one session, he told me what my problem was and told me yes, there is hope! He put me on Luvox and my symptoms did disappear. Although there were times that even on medicine the symptoms grew worse, adjustments took care of it. I have to be honest and say that I'm not